6 months later
i sat there waiting for calum to come pick me up.
after my attempt, i was hospitalized and placed under a psychiatric hold and eventually moved to a facility.
it took me 6 months to realize that my life mattered and if i killed myself, i would be hurting so many of those around me.
i saw calum walk up and i immediately jumped into his arms.
"hi cal." i mumbled into his chest.
"hi baby." he smiled as he spun me in a circle.
"dr. hood! let me take you back to mrs. armelda." the nurse spoke in front as she led us back into the facility.
mrs. armelda was my counselor. she helped me a lot. without her, i don't think i would be getting out of this place now.
we walked into her office and sat down together.
"bella! congratulations. you earned this." she smiled brightly at me.
"you must be the famous dr. hood. i'm so sorry we couldn't allow more visitation times, but she needed time away to see what she was going to lose." mrs. armelda spoke with a tiny smile.
"i'm glad she's better." calum replied as he smiled back down at me.
"it was rough when she first arrived here, she was constantly fighting with the nurses and other people. she finally started to turn around after about 3 months. we started working together to develop coping skills and reasons to live. we also worked heavily on coming to terms with her mom's death and her sexual assault situation. we now have 5 different coping skills and over 100 reasons to live." mrs. armelda smiled lightly.
"that's so great love! i'm proud of you." calum smiled brightly.
"i do want to stress that self harm doesn't just go away. the urges will never go away and trip ups happen." she spoke firmly.
"we're aware. i have a mate that i live with who is a psychiatrist." calum replied.
"perfect! i see no reason to keep you here any longer. bella, you have my number in case of emergencies. congratulations and go live your life!" mrs. armelda smiled as she brought me in for a tight hug.
i hugged her back and left with calum.
we arrived in the car and drove off to the house.
i haven't been back in 6 months. i was really scared.
i opened the door and ran inside to see luke, michael, and ashton standing there.
"surprise!" they yelled as they shot confetti into the air.
i jumped in surprise and started laughing.
"holy shit you scared me!" i laughed with smile.
"happy coming back!" ashton smiled as he jumped up.
i gave each of them a hug.
"calum was a crying mess because you were gone." luke pointed out.
"and you weren't?" calum replied as he threw a chip in his direction.
"fuck you." luke spoke as he threw one back.
"children, let's calm down now." ashton spoke as he sat down on the couch.
we all sat around and were scrolling through movies.
"can i say something?" i asked.
"of course." ashton smiled.
i stood up and stood in front, "i-i'm sorry for what i did. i realize that it was very selfish, but i felt so helpless. i couldn't see a way out of my dark situation. i spent these past six months crying, laughing, and healing. now, i'm happy and i'm content and i don't want to die anymore. i want to be successful and make you proud." i smiled softly.
"you have nothing to be sorry for. nothing at all. you were hurting. i don't blame you." calum pointed out.
"i agree. we're just happy you feel more healed." michael added.
i sat back down between calum and luke.
i leaned my head on calum's chest and looked up at him.
"i don't plan on leaving anytime soon. i'm here for a long time." i smiled at him.
"good. i don't plan on letting you leave." he smiled back.
"so, seeing that no one cares, can we watch tangled?" michael asked.
we all burst into laughter and michael threw a pillow at us.
"shut up." he spoke with an eye roll.
"tangled works." i smiled.
"perfect." michael replied as he started the movie.
"i love you." i whispered up to calum as the movie started.
"i love you too princess."
