The Sphere

Chapter 9: Fantasy

I spent a ton of time at Dr Love. I was really lucky because Ally was cool with listening to me, and his flexible work schedule allowed me to attend the therapy sessions he gave me for free.

Even though he wasn't a certified psychologist, I believed that talking to him could help me escape the fantasy world I had created for myself for so long.

"Hmm... The fantasy door you created?" Gina asked, surprised when I told her about my discussions with Ally.

"Yes, a fantasy door!" I replied earnestly. After talking to Ally, I tried to calm down and took some time to reflect on our eight-year relationship.

From the outside, my relationship with Norman seemed perfect. Everything looked amazing. In fact, many people were amazed at how we managed to stay together for so long with just a promise. I can't deny that it used to be something that many people envied. But as I thought back on all of Norman's words, voices, and smiles that once brought me joy, I had to admit something I had been trying to deny for a long time.

"What is it?" Ally asked, noticing my hesitation to express what was locked in my heart. I took a deep breath before starting to speak.

"Over the past three years, everything beautiful between Norman and me has slowly vanished. In simpler terms, our intimacy only lasted for five years out of the eight we've been together. After that, our relationship underwent some changes. Norman is no longer the person I once knew."

"Are you just realizing this now?" Ally asked.

"Well, it's been a while actually. I started noticing something was off between us three years ago. But I kept quiet because I thought it was normal. I saw it as a challenge that young couples like us face. I tried to stay positive no matter what happened."

"Trying to be positive... It's not as easy as we thought," Ally remarked.

"You're right. It's definitely not easy. But I often wondered what kept me going. How did I manage to survive and stay positive for so many years? What motivated me to endure the difficult times with Norman, who had become cold and less sensitive to my needs?"

After pondering for a while, I finally blurted out, "Fantasy... that's the word that sums it up."

"Fantasy? What do you mean?" Ally inquired.

"When I really think about it, the answer is that I love living in a fantasy. I find solace in the beautiful memories I have of Norman and me."

"For example?"

"Whenever something went wrong between us, I would retreat into a world of enchanting memories. It was a place where everything was beautiful and dreamy, a realm of pure fantasy. In those moments, I would reassure myself that everything would be alright, and the wonderful moments shared between him and me would resurface. I constantly motivated myself, believing that no matter what obstacles we faced, things would ultimately turn out for the best. However, reality had a different plan in store..."

******

"Hey, Ally! Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to give you a heads-up that I'll be heading back to my hometown in JB today, okay? Catch you later! By the way, I left a voicemail for you because those rough-voiced operator ladies were the only ones answering my calls to you all morning."

"Man, he's always so busy. I have no clue what he's up to, not even this morning," I muttered to myself. I just saw him a few days ago at Dr Love.

"What should I do now?" I asked for Ally's opinion.

"First, you need to figure out what your real problem is," Ally advised.

"I think it's been a while since I've identified that," I replied.