The Journal of Remus Lupin

51

Today was a disaster on so many levels!

First, last night I had a nightmare....you know what kind....the flashbacks of when I'm-- when I'm....transformed. I woke up to Sirius shaking me, and James screaming

"MERLIN'S BEARD, LUPIN, WAKE UP!"

They told me that I was thrashing around, screaming "NO! HELP ME! PLEASE!" Naturally, they wanted to know what my dream was about. Sirius told me it was okay...he has nightmares too. Not like mine of course, but his are still awful. They're about his family. Anyway, I made up a lie! Of course I can't tell them what my real nightmares are about! I told them it was about me falling from the astronomy tower. James looked like he didn't believe me, but Sirius told him to just drop it. They went back to sleep....I didn't. I didn't want to dream about it again. No. Not if I can help it.

Today was worse. I was sleep deprived, and really, really tired. Knowing my friends, that's not a good excuse to give up on quidditch. James did well with the try outs, so did Sirius. I, on the other hand, nearly fell of my broom. My coordination was definitely off, I couldn't guard the goals for my life, and a stray bludger hit me on the shoulder. See, under normal circumstances, it wouldn't really hurt, but considering the fact that, my shoulder was bruised up enough last month, well....Let's just say that I didn't fly anymore after that.

James and Sirius won't let me hear the end of it! They say I can't play quidditch for my life. Of course, they're just teasing, but I know that I could have done better!

Anyway, I don't want to sleep tonight...I can't sleep tonight. I don't want....I don't want the......nightmares to come back. No, I'll just try to catch up on the things that I'll miss on Monday.