The Journal of Remus Lupin

68

Professor Longbottom. He was there. He saw me in front of the mirror. I know him. He has dinner with the Potter's sometimes. He's a very brave person. He joined Dumbledore's army. He fought in the Great War. He saw me in front of the mirror. Why was he there?

I was looking at us...the three of us, and out of nowhere, a voice called out. "Teddy?" It was worried, concerned, and a bit disapproving. I didn't notice that I was crying.

He sat down beside me. He looked into the mirror. Then back at me.

"What do you see?"

I told him....I mean, it's not real so...I just told him. I told him about you, and how proud you both looked. I told him that I was a disappointment and that the mirror was nothing real.

He looked sad. Really sad.

He hugged me. Seriously, he hugged me and looked me in the eyes. I can't remember what he said word for word but he said something along the lines of:

"Teddy Lupin. Your parents are proud of you. Just because you're not like everyone else, just because you think differently, just because you're afraid. It doesn't make you any less of a person than you are. Your father...He taught me, you know. I was...Well, I had trouble with everything. Potions, Transfiguration, DADA...Your father helped me. When we had to face boggarts, he showed me a way to look on the brighter side of things. He encouraged me to go into Herbology, he never got irritated if I messed up.....He was like that with all his students. Teddy, he is proud of you, They are proud of you. Never for one moment think that they aren't."

I asked him what he saw....

"Exactly the same thing you do. My parents.....Well, Ted, I was so scared of their shadows. I was failing in all my subjects, I was being picked on, I felt like an utter embarrassment. My name followed me everywhere, and I thought that my parents...I thought they were never going to be proud of me.

It turns out, Teddy, that it's not like that. It's never like that. They..They loved me. Your parents, your whole family, Ted, not just them, they're all proud of you, they love you."

I was kind of speechless. Professor Longbottom, head of the Gryffindor house, Herbology teacher, He....he was like me.

Dad....I can't even write it down....

Shadows, names, legends, they follow me everywhere.....

Professor Longbottom patted me on the back and told me that this mirror was an experiment. It was to be destroyed soon because it tended to make people go...well.....people tended to waste away in front of it.He told me to go back to my dormitory, and he told me that I shouldn't go wandering around at night...then he winked....so......Not exactly sure about the wandering off part....

Dad, for once, I want to sleep. I need to think, and.....I need to just.....maybe I need to stop thinking.

I miss you both.....really....

Goodnight.