Love Shy

Chapter Thirty nine

True to his word Jordan woke me up twice more before the sun streamed through the open balcony doors. By the time I was ready to actually move from his embrace it was eight forty am and I was completely besotted with the sleeping form beside me. Edging out of his embrace slowly I winced in pain as I swung my legs off of the bed and stretched quietly. My body ached after all my extra curricular activity last night and my head swam with the alcohol and lack of sleep from the night before but I was completely content and looking down at Jordan as he rolled onto his stomach his tattooed arms a harsh contrast from the beautiful white sheets we had messed up hours earlier. I blushed scarlet as I tip toed to the bathroom afraid to wake my sleeping beauty, or was he my sleeping beast? I wasn't entirely sure. I smiled at my stupid thoughts as I finished my business and brushed my teeth. My skin was glowing and I had never felt more alive.

After washing my face and having a quick wash I returned to the bedroom and slipped on my silk robe. It wasn't too cold considering we had slept with the door open. Stepping out into the beautiful sunlight I looked across the beautiful view before sitting on the cushioned iron chair. Pulling my knees up to my chest I wrapped my arms around me and rested my chin on my knees. Happiness vibrated off of me in waves and I felt nothing but content. I knew even then how lucky I was to have Jordan. Despite his occasional smoking and crippling jealousy he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

It was crazy so much had happened in the last couple of years. I briefly allowed Rio to enter my mind as I gazed out at Brighton's morning hustle and bustle. Was he ok? the army was a dangerous place. Rita, his grandmother assured me he wrote to his family and that he seemed to be enjoying his training and was looking forward to his placement. I had no doubt he would make a good soldier but I was petrified to think our last contact had been an awkward hug and few empty words at his leaving do a few months ago. what if he didn't come home? I bit my lip worriedly even as I felt guilt for even entertaining thoughts of Rio after all Jordan had done for me. As if feeling my unease Jordan appeared at the door. his black boxers defining his beautiful form. "penny for your thoughts?" he said gently breaking me out of my mini trance.

My eyes snapped to his and I smiled as my eyes travelled his undressed physique. this man belonged to me? my heart swelled with pride. my face darkened to its beetroot red as I remembered our passionate night. Jordan was definitely an experienced lover. he had spent the night moving me from position to position with ease. touching and teasing with such tenderness I thought I might explode. He chuckled then and tilted his head. "maybe your thoughts are worth a lot more than a penny miss Monroe?" he laughed some more as I wrinkled my nose at him. his hair was being ruffled by the wind and his dimple was on full view as he looked out at the beautiful morning surrounding us. he was breath taking. was this an advert for Calvin Klein underwear? I swallowed to stop from dribbling and his eyes danced with mischief. "we better hurry up if you want breakfast. come we will share the shower."

By nine pm we were on our way home and I was completely shattered but as we raced down the motorway with Beres Hammond playing I couldn't take my eyes off of Jordan. He was so perfect. He had made all of my dreams come true that weekend and all with a humble self conscious manner that made me melt inside. Romance didn't come easy to Jords. It wasn't a knack he had or a game he played to seduce me. He genuinely wanted me happy. He wanted to do sweet things for me. Things he had seen in movies, things his mother had never been able to have at the hands of his vicious father. This morning we had a beautiful breakfast before packing our bags into the car and walking along the shore. Jordan presented me with a small sketch book and sat with his back against a pillar and me snuggled between his legs. he gently massaged my nape as I drew the pier and sea and endless blue sky.

After we had digested we stripped and played in the sea. before drying off and walking along the pier to the arcade now packed with people. my messy bun and Jordan wild curls did nothing to ruin the cartoon drawing Jordan paid for and we played on the ten p machines for what seemed like hours. we had fish and chips back on the beach before going to the cinema and then we were heading home with candyfloss and a huge sweet dummy. Jordan had gone above and beyond to ensure my last birthday was nothing but an embarrassing memory and I can honestly say listening him sing along to Beres Hammonds "rockaway" In his deep husky voice was so calming. glancing over at me as he changed gears he winked and then focused back on the road.

If I could have kept us in that moment I would have. I would relive that weekend a thousand times over and never get bored. Had I known what was to come two years later I would have locked myself in a time bubble and kept me in this precious moment. God I wish we could go back. Even now. Today as old and wise as I am, I still have no doubt that if I could go back to that time and place, the sixteen year old me. Hauled up in a posh hotel with a seventeen year old boy that I was crazy in love with. A boy that was insanely in love with me. A boy that promised to one day marry me. A boy that was to become my biggest heartache. knowing all of that I would still return to this time and live through it again and again even if it meant reliving the aftermath as well. My perfect weekend, My best birthday. But it wasn't to last, I should have known better.

Although nothing could top my birthday our next two years together was amazing, I fell deeper and deeper in love with Jordan and we were inseparable. I had passed my gcses with flying colours and was accepted into the college I had wanted to attend. Dad had wanted me to go to sixth form but the local schools didn't offer the courses I wanted to pursue so I stood my ground and It paid off. I was doing my second year studying art, history and English lit at college and it was the most amazing experience of my life and I excelled. The college was closer to Jordan's house than mine which meant I naturally progressed into living with the man of my dreams on the weekdays and going home on the weekends. Through all the excitement I managed to pass my driving test and collectively my brothers and dad and a lot of saving on my part brought me a black golf. I was in my element. I saw my best friends almost weekly and we skyped every other day. I couldn't have been happier.

In November carina got engaged and her annual new year party turned into a black tie event as it doubled up as her engagement party. Although Carina was already eighteen her and Cody had decided they would wait until she had finished studying biology, mathematics and linguistics before doing any planning but we couldn't be happier for her and already knew it would be the most beautiful and expensive wedding we would ever attend. Kayla was doing a hairdressing course and was really good at it. I had no doubt she would open up her own yardie hair shop and chop off peoples hair into various outrages styles. Although she split from chris in February of the following year only to dump him and get with some hood rat named hakim that smelled like a weed farm, and then dump him for chris again.

It was this year that changed my life forever. The year of my eighteenth birthday, the year of the pregnancy, the year of the death.