Love Shy

Chapter Twenty Three

The next time I woke my eyes landed on rios beautiful brown ones making my heart accelerate and my gut twist painfully. I could tell he had been awake a while just watching me. I stared back for a moment not sure what to say. Finally a feeble "hi" escaped my lips and his brown pools lit up "hi yourself" he replied his familiar greeting making me aware of his incredibly deep voice and the fact that he had brushed his teeth as the Minty air brushed my face. Sliding up to a sitting position I hugged my body as I looked around his room. Now in the cold light of day I questioned my logic in agreeing to share a bed with rio. He was still draped across the bed looking casual and relaxed. Totally confident in his own skin. But one look in his eyes told another story. He was eyeing me nervously trying to work out if I would bolt out the door and leave. He didn't even appear to breath as he awaited my next move.

I moved to climb off the bed only to be stopped by his velvet smooth voice. "Shy? don't fight me. Not now. Let me be here for you. As a friend." I eyed him suspiciously and sensing my obvious hesitation he ploughed on in Ernest,"Whatever you need I can be that. I won't play no games or take advantage. I swear I just wanna be around you again" his breath was laboured when he finished and he looked like he might have a panic attack any minute. I stared at him for long minutes before turning to stare at his wardrobe. wanting so badly to just curl up in his arms that it was like a physical ache. Still his betrayal burned and I couldn't bring myself to forgive him. still acting indifferent was drowning me slowly. He sat up as I willed the rising tears to disappear and gripped my waist pulling me onto his lap. the water works started as my body moulded to his. leaning back against the headboard he pulled me with him and stroked me until the tears subsided. slowly I lifted my head from his shoulder and dragged my eyes to meet his. "I shouldn't have come..." "shy please don't"  I stroked his face softly "I cant trust you again rio, you've done too much. you turned out to be so different." I whispered as he shook his head vigorously "no no no baby listen im not different I swear I just messed up I made a mistake. shit I keep messing up I know but I swear ill be different. we told my mum. but it don't matter, none of it does she ain't keeping the baby. she wont bother us again shy. its just me and you. im the same guy"  as Rio continued talking fast and tripping over his words I registered his pleas I was shocked at sashas news but wasn't all that surprised in truth, his eyes searched my face as I dropped my hand to his shoulder. My mind was made up. "im too young for all this drama Rio." I slid off of his lap before he could grab me back and made my way towards my bags but he was up in seconds closer than my shadow. "there will be no more drama." I continued walking to the door ignoring him but he followed me like a lost puppy. "shy? wait where you going?" his begging was starting to irritate me now. I just wanted to be alone. "why aren't you at school?" I asked exhausted as I turned to face him. he looked at me confused for a second as if I was stupid and then answered simply "because you needed me" I sighed and moved round him "im going to have a shower. I appreciate you being here for me Rio I really do. but if you care as much as you say you do then you will know I need my space and leave me alone."

I pretended not to notice his crushed expression as I walked from his room. In the shower I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. I knew as bad as It burned him, Rio would respect my wishes. I marvelled at being properly single. It seemed like an eternity ago that I had met Rio but in actual fact it was less than a year ago. In that time I had fallen in love, lost my virginity, suffered countless drama and the worst heartache yet I didn't feel angry, just empty. my thoughts once again drifted to my aunt Sharon and I removed myself from the running water reluctantly, creaming and dressing quickly before exiting the bathroom. I was surprised to find I was alone in the house but a quick inspection confirmed Rio had left me alone. I hadn't heard Rita so assumed she had gone out early this morning. I silently thanked Rio for making my exit and goodbye less awkward as I rounded up my overnight bag and left the house.  I knew dad wouldn't be home and didn't fancy sitting home alone so decided I would take my duffel bag and head to the library, my thoughts momentarily landing on Jordan on the way. Entering the library I inhaled the smell of chlorine and books and felt myself visibly calm. Putting my phone on vibrate I took my self to the fiction genre. I picked a few options and settled my self on one of the plush sofas in the corner of the room. Escapism is what I craved and I found it in a novel that I had been meaning to borrow for a few months now, never finding time. "well don't you just look more and more gorgeous every time I see you." Jordan's deep voice penetrated my engrossed state and a shy smile spread across my face as I looked up to see him in the couch opposite mine. dressed in his normal gym attire he looked huge as always and his smile  managed to cheer me up instantly. "hi" I murmured realising I hadn't said anything. "temptation of a good man huh?" he said raising his eyebrows and I almost choked. "wh..wh..what?" I spluttered and his cheeky smile grew showing that beautiful dimple. "your book?" I felt all the colour rush into my face and wanted to melt into the sofa beneath me as I realised that he was referring to the book I had been reading "temptation of a good man" was the title. I stared at the book in disgust for long moments wishing I had chosen something else now and his chuckle made me peek up from under my lashes. He was biting his lip as he tried to keep his laughter under control. "na that blushing shit kills me man, what you saying though skiver you waiting for me or what?" I looked at him in confusion and he rolled his eyes before talking as if he were talking to a five year old. "school, you know the place you learn and shit. how come you ain't there??" I registered that it was infact a week day and begged my brain to behave like it actually belonged to me before he thought I was a total idiot.  "oh I wasn't feeling it today" I whispered and he sat back in surprise, "rah never had you down for a rebel" he said before changing his mind "saying that I did meet you in a graveyard at dumb times of the morning" he was laughing again and it was infectious I couldn't help but smile. soon we were both laughing until we got shooshed by the library staff. "Jordan apologised on our behalf and I smiled weakly at the skinny man that was peering over his glasses at us with disapproval. "so what's the deal, man trouble?" he said moving to my sofa and lowering his voice. I just managed to remove my legs from the sofa before he crushed them and then shook my head. "my aunt died yesterday." I murmured and saw him wince. "sorry kid. how you holding up" he was genuinely concerned and I nodded. "im fine. just shocked" he nodded as well and looked at his hands for a minute. before looking back at me. "how long you been here?" I told him it had been about forty five minutes and explained I had stayed at Rios when he questioned why I was up so early. Talking to Jordan was probably the equivalent to talking to carina and Kayla. He didn't judge he just took in what I said and gave his opinion when asked. After about an hour he stood and stretched. "listen imma hit the gym for a bit, what you gonna be doing?" I waved my book in his direction and he laughed. "iyt book worm. well if you stay put for a while ill take you for lunch before you head home." I shook my head apologetically and he chuckled again. "im still a stranger to you huh?" I shrugged and apologised. "its nothing personal Jordan. But I only officially left Rio today it just don't feel right, im not ready to let any one in." he nodded and picked up his gym bag "well the number ain't changed young buck, holla at me init." I high fived him as he walked past and watched his confident walk. there was a few young mums in the library attending the mother baby group and they seemed to follow his broad shoulders with their eyes. when he reached the stairs he saluted me and his dopey grin appeared showing off that dimple again and I couldn't help but laugh. the boy was crazy. Getting back into the book that had cost me the utmost embarrassment already I managed to spend another two hours in the library.