Love Shy

Chapter Thirteen

So my first few weeks without Rio went so slowly it was a joke. After leaving Kayla's that evening I went home to an empty house. I used the time to jump in the bath and take myself to bed before anyone came home and questioned me on my appearance. I woke up looking much healthier than I had the night before, I thought I wasn't going to be able to sleep but as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. Must be all the crying exhausting me. I made my way to school with Sean and kept up the pointless conversations so he wouldn't clock on to my bad mood. For some reason I didn't want anyone to know he was gone, it was like if everyone knew then I would have to accept it and I couldn't. Walking into form with Carina and Kayla everything felt the same. I was expecting the school to change shape or lose its colour or something but everything was taking place as usual. The only exception being that Rio wasn't standing outside the basketball cage at lunch or sitting with us at break. At first Carina and Kayla were worried about me but it’s not like I was normally talkative so things slipped into the usual routine pretty quickly. My heart hurt when Chris and Kayla walked towards the gate holding hands. But other than that nothing had changed. I hadn't even checked my phone like I normally did. Other than the text I had got that first Monday morning saying that he was home and everything was ok and he missed me, Rio hadn't made any contact.

My weekends became more and more based at home. It wasn't that I didn't wanna hang out with my friends but everything we did just didn't feel the same without Rio and seeing the two couples together made daggers of jealousy shoot through me. I was dizzy with how much I missed him and seeing my friends with the men in their lives made me stomach churn. Possibly the hardest thing to do was explain to my dad why I was home for the fifth weekend in a row. Although me Kayla and Carina still had girly nights, I was staying in at least eighty percent more than normal and dad had clocked on.

"What's going on girl, you’re home way more than usual, and Rio hasn't been here in forever. I usually can’t get him out of here." I laughed at dads comment even as I felt the emptiness in me grow slightly.

"Rio had to go back home for a while daddy, something came up with him family." I said my voice shaking slightly. We were in the front room watching the TV whilst eating dinner and the boys were all out. I was sitting with my knees tucked into my chest with my arms wrapped round my legs hugging myself and I was wearing Rios tracksuit. Dad was sitting in the armchair and looked over at me and that was my undoing. My tears fell before I could even attempt to stop them. I hadn't cried since the day he left, and it had now been six weeks. Dad cursed under his breath and put his plate on the coffee table, he came to sit next to me. I had my head buried in my knees and he pulled me into a tight hug. He let me cry until I had no more tears and I was just silently sobbing. It felt so good to just let out everything. All the emotions I had been bottling up. I didn't wanna put on a fake smile and pretend I was ok anymore. When I had calmed down dad kissed my head still hugging me and started asking questions, I found it surprisingly easy to tell him everything.

"Come on baby love don't cry. Is he not coming back?" he asked first, his voice full of sympathy.

"He says he is but he hasn't even called or text and when I called his phone was off. He’s been gone six weeks" I sobbed and dad nodded stroking my hair.

"Well baby maybe it’s just not meant to be." I shook my head.

"Daddy you don't understand, he asked me to wait for him said he would be a few months. Said he wouldn't leave if he didn't have to. I just don't get it." he sighed heavily

"Chyanne, I’m so sorry your hurting princess, I wish I could take your pain away. Are you gonna wait for him?" Now that was the question. I stared at the TV but I didn't really see it. Finally I answered.