Love Shy

Chapter Twentyone

Sitting at my dressing table Monday morning I tried to stop my hands from shaking as I brushed my hair. I had plaited it the night before so the waves were in full effect as I tied it into my usual high pony tail. I sat staring at my reflection. Rio had not text or called last night and I couldn't decide whether it was relief or disappointment that I was feeling over the matter. Part of me wanted to strip and get back into bed to hide, I knew the school would be buzzing with gossip. More than a few of my wider friendship group had been at the party. If I tried hard enough I knew dad would succumb and let me spend the day moping in bed but it wouldn't make it any easier when I did return to school. It wasn't much longer before we broke up anyway. Sighing I pushed my self up and collected my school bag and stuffed my feet into my vans. walking down stairs slowly I sat next to Kieran at the table and he nodded at me offering me the cheerio's he had just poured out. I nodded and smiled knowing Kieran and Sean would both rather see you die of starvation than share anything of theirs. I began to eat my favourite cereal realising fairly quickly that I had no appetite I was too nervous. after a few more spoons I took the half empty bowl to the food bin as Sean entered the room. "what the hell are you doing" he shouted almost pushing me to the floor as he ripped the bowl from me before I could empty the cheerio's out. I looked at him in shock as he gave me a dirty look then began to eat my leftovers. urgh. I bet he had already eaten as well what a tramp. Kieran just laughed as I shook my head in disgust. I walked to the bus stop slowly headphones in place staring at the cracks in the floor and didn't realise the bus was at the bus stop until Sean raced past me shouting to run. I didn't bother we was already late and looking at the packed bus made me feel ill. I continued my slow pace watching the bus pull off and sat at the bus stop alone enjoying the quiet and the lyrics of my Aaliyah tracks.

Eventually another bus arrived and I stepped on sitting downstairs and phased out. Arriving at school the courtyard was deserted. I was only fifteen minutes late but it made the difference as I continued my slow pace across the grounds. I relished the fact that I had yet to deal with the stares and whispers. I made my way into the building and went to the toilets, no point in going to form there was only a few minutes left. Looking in the mirror I noticed I still looked tired but there was no trace of the millions of tears I had cried over the last few days. I leaned into the sink waiting for the bell checking my phone. Both the girls had text saying I had better come in and I smiled knowing that they would flip if I hadn't made the effort to get in today. The bell rang and I left the toilet. The door to the boys toilet opened opposite and out walked Rio putting both straps of his rucksack on his shoulders. Our eyes met and my heart stopped as did both of our feet. we stood staring at each other as the form classes began to clear. some one walking up the hallway broke our eye contact and I used it as an excuse rooting my eyes to the floor as I made my way to the form to meet the girls as they left. fighting the urge to look back I made it to the girls who were talking and laughing not yet realising I was there. Kayla spotted me first and hugged me tight before carina pushed in. "though you was gonna pull a sickie on us." she whispered steering us away from the class and I shook my head. "just running late." I murmured and Kayla launched into a big one sided convo about maths homework that she hadn't done saying she felt to run away and join the circus because of this and i listened cheerily happy for the distraction.

The day went pretty quick as I through myself into the work set for me. the teachers were impressed and I was pleased with myself. We spent break inside because I didn't want to risk walking past the cage and spotting Rio playing basketball. Lunch time the girls were having none of it and dragged me out to sit on the green. It was baking hot and I immediately regretted not coming out at break. I sat with my phone playing and chips in hand with my eyes shut as I turned my face into the sun. carina broke my day dream with her subtle nudge. "don't look now but Rio is watching you like a love sick puppy. and Chris is looking at Kayla the same way. I still haven't forgiven Cody for bringing Rio to the cinema." My eyes snapped over and instead of searching out Rios gaze I turned to face carina. "oh Ree please don't fall out over me" I said guiltily. "and why is Chris not over here with you Kay?" I asked Kayla bringing her into the convo. she smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "didn't want to shove it in your face." she said and me and carina laughed and answered my statement about Cody "don't worry we will make up. he cant stand me not talking to him and I don't enjoy it that much either. but you do know when we all make up and come back together Rio cant just be dropped out shy. he's one of the gang now." I nodded miserably slyly shifting my eyes to watch him as he sat on the bench outside the basketball and football cage. he wasn't paying any attention to the boys sat with him as he bounced the ball in between his legs absentmindedly. He was looking exactly as carina described. I sighed and went back to munching my chips. this sucked. Would we ever be able to be friends? I doubted him accepting anything less than me all to him self. we continued sunbathing until the end of lunch and then before I knew it the day was done. it felt weird going to the library after school instead of to Rios house. but the work still had to get done and at home I was too tempted to forget it and just sleep so library it was. I couldn't believe how long it had been since I had been here last. I remember dad saying they had refurbished it but I wasn't expecting the slick new look. Apparently the three small buildings that used to stand side by side were now one huge complex over five floors. the lower ground was a swimming pool the second floor was the new and improved gym the third floor was a canteen and general lounging area and the fourth and fifth floors were a split level library which made my heart sing with joy. I loved reading and two whole floors of books sounded like heaven. After an hour of work I made my way to the canteen and stocked up on snacks. Sitting at one of the empty tables on the balcony that overlooked the gym floor I thought I spotted a familiar face but when I actually focused my eyes the shadow was gone. I began munching on my ready salted crisps as I peered around the gym. Pure sweaty dudes and a few women paraded around in tiny Lycra outfits that should really come with a warning. I actually wanted to laugh at one guy who was struggling to pick up a weight the size of a baby's bottle but immediately felt mean. "Is someone sitting here?" a deep voice sounded behind me making stop eating mid crunch. I was not here to be chatted up. I regained my composure and continued to look down on the gym. "Yea sorry" I murmured to the stranger refusing to turn to them knowing eye contact almost always was an invitation to conversation. I just wanted to eat my snacks and then Finnish my work to be honest. The intruder laughed and the tell tale scraping of the chair legs on the floor let me know he had taken the seat anyway. My body stiffened in anticipation of the awkward can I have your number conversation that was sure to come. "So your either back with ol dude or your just rude" he said and I almost snapped my neck to locate the face that the deep voice belonged to. Jordan's dimples came into view as my brain realised he was the familiar face I had caught a glimpse of on the gym floor. He was dressed in a pair of knee length black shorts and a black vest. His shoulders were shining with perspiration and his short hair looked deliciously messy. "What's going on lady" he asked after I just sat there drinking him in. "Don't tell me you don't member old jourds now?" he questioned jokingly. I nodded. "Hi Jordan I do remember you" I said feeling my face go red for no reason. I was still in my uniform and I had just been stuffing my face with crisps. I felt like a naughty school kid. "What you saying chyanne how was your birthday and that?" we chatted for about fourty five minutes about everything from school to the gym. I told him about rio turning up at the cinema and seeing him at school. For some reason because he already knew the whole story I felt I didn't need to hold bits back. He didn't tease me or laugh he just listened and it was so nice to have a male point of view. "Well cutey I better get back to my work out you coming here looking all sweet and that tryna distract me." I instantly went red and his dimples as he laughed made it ten times worse. "That blush kills me. Mad cute. Holla me when you done your work I'll drop you home." he said as he stood and I shook my head before he even finnished his sentence. He sighed dramatically leaning his forearms on the back of the chair he just vacated. "Still no trust huh? Holla me anyway I'll walk you bus stop." I nodded and he narrowed his eyes. "Don't play me girl I can see you plotting your escape. Holla me." I laughed flushing further at him working me out and nodded again. He laughed with me and turned to walk in the opposite direction back towards the gym. I returned to the library and got stuck in with my assignments. Before I knew it my phone was buzzing in my pocket and I retrieved it to see a text from dad asking if I was ok and coming home for dinner. wow seven thirty. Time was just flying by. I replied saying I was in the library and that I would be home in an hour then finished off the last bit of shading on my art folder. "Not bad cutey" Jordan's voice cut into the air behind my ear. This guy was like a ninja why did I never know he was there. I blushed instantly trying to close the folder but within seconds his big hand was turning the pages and looking through my most prized collection. I felt my face heat further as I say helplessly as his large Frame leant over my chair as he inspected my work. "These are really good shy" he said quietly studying my portrait of Kayla. He smelled like fresh soap and washing powder all clean showered after his workout. His hair was still damp and his breath was minty. One hand was planted on the desk to my left while the other was on my right flicking through the pages. "That's private" I mumbled my half hearted objection knowing it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference he knew nothing of personal space obviously. His actions slowed and he turned to stare directly into my eyes. "I think we have discussed more personal and private subjects. Don't you?" my breath caught in my throat and I had to admit he was right but I wasn't going down with a fight. "You eavesdropped more personal and private subjects you mean" I grumbled as I crossed my arms in exasperation. he laughed then and his husky chuckle was almost infectious. Teamed with the dimples I was almost salivating. He wasn't rio though and that realisation hit like a ton of bricks. "You good to go?" he asked snapping me out of my mini self pity party. I nodded and began packing everything into my rucksack. As he stretched. Out the corner of my eye I noticed he was in grey tracksuit bottoms and a white short sleeve top. He had on a chunky silver chain and watch and white air max trainers. His hands were stuffed down the front if his bottoms as he waited for me to get my self together. I turned to him as he removed one hand from his tracksuit bottoms to grab his phone. We moved toward the stair case.

Outside wasn't too cold but there was still a chill in the air not that Jordan noticed in his state of undress. No sleeves no coat nothing. He stopped to light a cigarette as I walked to the bus stop and then walked beside me doing regular checks of the surrounding area. He was worse than the twins and they were super paranoid. We arrived at the bus stop and I stood looking at the time table as he sat on the bench. I could feel his eyes on me and couldn't help but give him a questioning look. "If he says he's gonna tell him mum why ain't you back with him?" I sighed "it's more complicated than that. She did that to separate us and he let her succeed by choosing to keep it quiet. He let me down. I don't think there's coming back from this" he nodded slowly. "You miss him?" I nodded miserably as I plopped down beside him and he chuckled. "First loves a bitch ain't it. what you gonna do?" I shrugged helplessly. "I have no idea." I whispered truthfully and he nodded standing as the bus approached he waved it down for me then hugged me tight. "Keep your head up young buck. And stop acting like you ain't got my number. Holla at me init" I nodded smiling sheepishly as I got on the bus making my way home. Walking through the door I knew immediately something was wrong. Dad was sitting in the front room with his head in his hands and Kieran and Sean were sitting quietly beside him looking concerned. "What's wrong?" I asked in a breathless tone as my bag hit the floor on my way to the sofa. "Its Aunty Sharon. She was in a car crash" Kieran's low mumble reached my ears as dad broke into a sob.