Love Shy

Chapter Forty One

I couldn't even cry anymore, I had nothing left. Jordan was my world, my everything and yet he had thrown It all away. Standing in front of me topless I didn't feel weak like I normally would. His grey eyes were stormy as he looked into my face. His nerves were evident in the gentle way he held my arms. He looked lost but I didn't feel bad for him. I didn't feel at all. My body was slowly shutting down and I knew I needed to leave now before it got any uglier. "get off me." I said calmly and as always he let go instantly. I closed my eyes briefly to eradicate the sting of tears before walking around him to the door. "where will you go?" he asked his voice scared and hoarse as he followed me into the hallway "I don't know yet" I said honestly walking down the stairs. "shy please let me explain" he whispered as another wave of dizziness took over me. I placed my hand out to steady myself but before I could get a hold on the stair rail Jords was in front of me holding me in place. "fuck shy please, think of the baby. your gonna hurt yourself. you cant go out like this." he was begging now but I stayed with my chin to my chest doing my breathing exercises ignoring his existence.

once I felt that my legs could carry me I pushed past him and continued. Sitting on the bottom step I put my trainers on before picking up my bag. "you cant go to your dads like this shy. please I will leave you alone but just stay here." I shook my head rubbing my belly as I tried to fix my breathing pattern. "ok let me drop you then. I wont even come inside." I shook my head again before lifting myself off the step "im not going to my dads. just leave me alone." With that I barged out of the house and got into my car. Jords was fumbling with his trainers now trying to get to his car as quick as possible. driving towards my dads I didn't really know what to do. Jordan was right I couldn't go there because he would ask what was wrong and both the pregnancy and the Leanne situation were not things I wanted to share. my petrol light flashed and I sighed. I still had Jordan's two hundred pounds that we were meant to go shopping with today. Waiting at the traffic lights I noted he was still following me. I pulled into the petrol station and filled up my tank all the while Jordan was begging me to just hear him out. He kept promising he hadn't slept with her but I was so past his bullshit that I couldn't even acknowledge him. He followed me in to the petrol station and slapped forty pounds into the mans hand before I could get the money from my purse still asking me where I was going. He looked so out of place it was only April and he was in shorts and a vest that looked like it was from his gym bag in the car. turning on my heel I left the shop in silence. As Jordan pleaded with me to come home and let him talk to me. slamming my car door I shut him out as I started my engine and he raced to get in his car so he could follow me.

I quickly pulled into the traffic and felt relief that a car had moved into the space at the opening so he couldn't pull out. I took all of the back roads on my way to my destination I knew where I was going to go now. There was a hotel in town that had underground parking. that's exactly what I needed. just a chill place. Making my way there I put my phone on silent. I couldn't deal with the constant ringing. Jordan had well and truly lost me now and was going crazy blowing up my phone. Parking in the bay I got my bags and booked myself in for two nights. I ordered pizza and went to the Tesco across the road to get kiwi to have with my breakfast and snacks so I wouldn't have to keep leaving the hotel.

By the time I was in my room I felt so much better. I had the longest shower ever and washed my hair before plaiting it whilst it was still wet and throwing on some leggings and a long top. I gasped as I looked at my self in the mirror. I had been living in Jordan's tracksuits for so long I hadn't really took notice of my bump in more fitted clothing. I couldn't stop staring at my belly. It suited me. had I been less scared of people finding out I would have worn cute little outfits to show off my bump. what was I hiding from they were gonna find out sooner or later. Carina and Kayla knew only because they weren't happy with my choice of clothing when we went to dinner last weekend and had badgered me until I caved and told them. picking up my phone i decided it was time to tell dad. I ignored all of my missed calls and went to my call log to find the house number. It rang forever before I remembered dad would be at work and was just about to put it down when someone answered. "yea?" oh my god it was Sean. why was he home? "Sean?" "shy?" I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I missed my brother so much. "shy ? you ok? Jordan was just here looking for you. did you fight?" I started crying for the millionth time today, this hormones stuff was no joke. "Sean im in trouble. can you come to the travel lodge in town?"