Love Shy

Chapter Forty Eight

Chaos. Thats the only way I could describe the scene in front of me right now. Jamals story had shocked me to the point I don't even remember how we got here. Carinas calming voice is what pulls me from my wandering thoughts as I stare on in complete shock at what is happening. "put the gun down" she's pleading. But he won't listen. Jamals voice is quiet as he murmurs something just behind my ear "move shy. Slowly. Really slowly. Move" it's then I realise I'm in front of him. Shielding him. Oh. How did we get here. I rack my brains instead of panicking about the gun pointed in my direction. It's not aimed at me. I know that. But it's so close I can almost see down the barrel. But why was it here in the first place. Again I resume trying to focus my mind on what happened.

I had been sitting on the sofa. Carina and kayla had been quizzing Jamal on how he knew so much. He was being forth coming with the information. Explaining how he knew All the stuff he had said. He told us everything we wanted to know. Staring intently into my eyes as I rubbed my belly protectively. Listening to how deep the story went. My eyes watered when I realised every time I had been out with Jordan. In the library whilst he was in the gym, In Westfields shopping, even at the petrol station. I had been in danger. We had been in danger. Oh god. Our relationship had brought some of the most toxic individuals I had ever met straight to our doorstep. A chill raced down my spine thinking about what could of happened. What did happened. The twins were incarcerated. My Sean was gone and my dad was hanging on to his sanity by a thread. Even kieran was completely changed. Because of me. I felt the blood rush through my veins as realisation sucker punched me in the gut, Knocking the air from my body and leaving me completely winded. I had ruined my family's life by being with Jordan.

Then what had happened? Kaylas phone rang. She excused her self and ran upstairs as I sat completely broken,the tears began racing down my face. Carina raced upstairs to get some tissue and I was sat there sobbing as Jamal looked at me with haunted eyes. "shy please" he whispered as if it was killing him to see me cry. I just hiccuped in response as a fresh tsunami of tears arrived. Seconds later I was cradled in to his chest as he swayed us soothingly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have warned your brothers sooner about the situation but I thought I had time. I never knew you was in danger. I thought Jordans beef was petty. I didn't realise how bad he pissed off jermaine and damage. I knew Jordans brother died but I wasn't aware Jordan was still involved " I leaned out of his embrace and looked into his face questioning him silently. He sighed deep and long before looking away. "shy I dunno how much Jordan told you about his brothers death or what happened between him and damage" he finally stated and I knew he was basically telling me it wasn't his place to say. It was for Jordan but I couldn't wait. I just continued to stare. My eyes still watering and my hands still shaking. Jamal scrubbed his face roughly as he did his signature nose rub thing. His eyes came back to mine before he loosened his hold on me and swallowed hard. "shy. Jordan he... Shy he was there that night. His brother Daniel was killed infront of him." I gasped as carina came back with some tissues and we sat back down on the sofa. This time Jamal sat next to me. I blew my nose as he continued.

"Jordan was in the back of the car, locked in. He couldn't get to him. No one knew he was there except Daniel and his boys. But he saw it all. When everyone ran off and left Daniel bleeding out. Jordan smashed the car window and ran to his brother. He was already dead. Jordan stayed with him until the ambulance sirens were close and then he took the money that one of the boys had dropped and ran." my heart broke for the young Jordan that had to watch his big brother die. But a chill went through me as I realised Jordan took the money. He ran. He left his brothers body and ran with money. How much was it? He was just a kid. Why did he do it? My head swam. "He never gave damage back that money. He kept it. And with his other brother Anton he started pushing his own drugs. That's why he always has money. Thats why damage hates him. Anton and Jordan basically stole half his empire" I couldn't believe it. My Jordan. No way. It made sense. I knew instinctively it was true but it still crushed me.

"shy I'm so sorry to have to tell you especially in this condition. I didn't know it was so deep. I swear..." mid sentence Jamal shot to his feet. Staring toward the kitchen. I turned too and my heart froze. There in my kitchen doorway was Jordan. His grey eyes stormy and dangerous I stood up to explain what Jamal was doing here until I saw the gun. Now I was standing infront of Jamal, my back to him as I stared at the gun in Jordans hand. It was aimed just over my shoulder at Jamal chest.

"what is story time over? You finished bad mouthing me to my girl?" he asked menacingly and memories of him saying something similar to rio at carinas new years eve party spring to mind. I had been warned. And I hadn't listened. But confused I stood in place until I heard carinas voice from her seat on the sofa. Then Jamal asking me to move. Oh. So this is how we got here.

"don't stop on my account you little bitch" Jordan growls and I can tell this isn't the first time he has held a gun. He's so angry that his eyes have glazed over but I can tell this isn't a new situation to him. Did I even know this boy? I was having his baby yet I knew nothing about him. Reality kicked in as I realised Jordans gun was trained in my direction even with his child inside me. My hands went out instinctively to cover my perfect bump. "jords. Our baby" it's all I say before what he's doing registers on his face he moves the gun quickly but doesn't lower it. "move shy. Come here baby I won't hurt you." he says his voice soft and soothing and I nearly take a step towards him before stopping my self. "if I move you will hurt him." I say swallowing past the lump in my throat. And jamal hisses out a breath behind me. "baby. Just come here" Jordan reaches out his free hand offering it to me without answering my question. I don't acknowledge it. Instead I stare at his face trying to get my mind to focus. "is what he said true?" I question? Again I get no response. "you stole that money?" I asked and jords growls. "I didn't steal it. My brother earned it. He paid for it with his life" he spits out clearly angry. "and the drugs? Your into all of that?" I ask as my body starts to shake. "baby I can explain. Just calm down. Come to me. Think about the baby. Think about our boy." his voice is gentler now. Back to trying to soothe me with his husky tone. But the anger is still there. "why didn't you tell me? You put us in danger by not telling me. I'm having your baby" I whisper almost in shock. And Jordan curses trying to edge round me so that he can point the gun more fully on jamal. But I move too. Staying planted firmly infront of him. "why do you want to hurt him? He's helping" I state not sure I'm grasping all the information. Carina shakes uncontrollably and kayla is stuck suspended on the stairs watching in horror as the scenes unfolds in my front room.

"baby he knows too much. He's going to hurt us. He just wants to tear us apart. Come. Come here shy I got you baby" all of the contradicting excuses flow from him as I shake even more. He's lying to me. Fresh tears escape as I stare at him. "he's helping" I whisper again. "he's telling the truth because you won't. You wouldn't tell me what you were, who you are." i sob feeling so naive and foolish. Everyone must have known. I was warned. "shy." Jordans harsh tone cut through my bogged state of mind. "I'm your man. Your fiancee. The father of your child. That's all I am. Now come here please." he motions for me again but I know if I move jamals fate is uncertain. "put the gun down" I say and he winces. "baby. Please come to me." he pleads his eyes flicking between me and jamal. "put it down" I repeat. "why won't you put it down?"