Love Shy

Chapter Forty Seven

Sitting cross legged on my bedroom floor at dad's house I continued to smooth my hair into a slick high ponytail as carina and kayla lounged on my bed. "Have you thought of any names yet babe?" carina asked flicking through a baby book that kayla was meant to be wrapping for my baby shower. "you know I'm not meant to see my presents before hand right?" I giggled as kayla rolled her eyes snatching the book from carina and placing it in the Christmas wrapping paper. "you lot need to stop clowning me. Your lucky I brought your big head yout anything. These times he won't even kick for me. Some any stoosh baby. What Did we expect when two light skinned people got together." "kay shy isn't really that light. And is that Christmas paper?" carina interrupted puzzled. "don't be racist carina not all black people look the same. And yes it is because Lord knows I ain't gonna get no damn thank you till Christmas time anyways. Damn lighties. Think they run the world. Yeah what names you got shy? Also can I have this book back when you read it because my cousins pregnant and I ain't tryna spend money on her and her fat child. That belly nearly knocked me down the stairs last week man. Chris says I'm gonna look super cute pregnant. We need to hurry up before all the good names get taken. And carina when you have kids please don't be calling them no apple or pear names man cha!" tears were streaming down my face. God I missed these two. "and I'm the racist one?" carina questioned her mouth wide open with astonishment written all over her face as she looked to me for help.

It had been three weeks since seans funeral and it still felt surreal. So much had happened in the last two months and just thinking about it made my head spin. Jordan had pretty much glued himself to me since the fateful night that Leanne was arrested. Although her and Lacey both refused to say who else was involved. Which meant there was a possibility other people were still out to get us. That thought made me feel sick to my stomach.

Today was my baby shower and I really wasn't in the mood but I only had three weeks left before the baby was due and this was the only Saturday everyone could be free. Although I would only have one brother present which broke my heart. Troy and Reece had both pleaded guilty to possession of firearms and were awaiting sentencing. Neither made bale despite the circumstances which absolutely broke my heart. They weren't even allowed to attend my brothers funeral due to the fact that they had gone on a rampage upon hearing that Sean had died and nearly killed another inmate. They were currently in isolation until their court date. I sighed trying not to think too much about it. I had been told multiple times that I was stressing our little boy so needed minimum drama right now so as not to distress him.

The doorbell rang alerting me to the fact that Jordan was here and I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes before slowly getting to my feet. "wow he's an hour early come on girls let's go" I said as I slid my feet into my fuchsia pink Nike air maxs. I had on one of Jordan's all white baggy Nike tops in which I tied a knot in below my huge bump and teamed with my maternity boyfriend ¾ length jeans. We were heading to the same spa carinas mum had organised after our exams. So I knew I would look good in my pictures even if I felt like shit. Jade was coming Aswell as I felt she needed this as much as me but we were picking her up on the way. "nearly done" kayla said as I headed to the bedroom door. "I need to use the bathroom first" carina said heading to the bathroom as I descended the stairs shuddering as I looked at the place my brother had been standing when he got shot. Opening the door wide I smiled knowing Jordan would appreciate my effort today. Most days I was in my pj's or a tracksuit. Today I had my hoop earrings in and even tried to put a little lip gloss on.

My knees weakened when Jamal came into view instead of Jordan. My heart was racing as I tried to work out what was happening. "shy, wow. You look amazing. Pregnancy suits you." I just stared in response as he patted his hair obviously feeling a little nervous and out of place at his reaction to me. Still I said nothing trying to catch my breath. "hey listen I just wanted to come by to say I'm sorry. About your brother and the twins not being around and stuff." I wasn't even registering what he was saying I was frozen. "erm this is for you. Congratulations on the baby." Oh. I looked at the big teddy in his arms and frowned why was he being so nice. He had looked like he wanted to kill me last time he saw me. He looked at me for a minute and then looked up and down the road before doing his thuggish nose itch thing. OK this was the Jamal I knew and hated. " look shy can I come in for a minute. I know you probably hate me. I didn't handle myself well last time we spoke but your brothers are good friends of mine. They want me to give you something" my eyes narrowed with curiosity as I stared at him. He was in all black as usual with his good jewellery on display but his face was what was different. He wasn't smirking. He didn't look cocky. He didn't even look amused like he normally did when looking at me. He looked tired and stressed but mostly he looked sincere. Carina bound down the stairs stopping in her tracks when she realised it wasn't Jordan. She didn't even finish what she had been saying about being early. "what are you doing here? She has been through alot how dare you turn up here now. Can't you see she doesn't want you?!" carina spat in anger stepping in front of me and effectively shielding me from Jamal. He didn't even seem bothered by her blatant disrespectful behaviour but instead looked over her shoulder into my eyes.

"Yeah I'm aware Carina." he said quietly before looking away as if it was painful for him to admit I didn't want him. "I'm not here to cause no problems. The twins wanted me to give something to shy and I don't want to let them down. I already messed up by not being there for them when they got arrested." I opened the door wider and carina looked at me in confusion as I gave Jamal access to my house. He nodded his thanks and walked past us into the front room. "what do you mean you let them down?" I asked as he placed the teddy on the sofa next to him and looked at my belly one more time before placing his elbows on his knees and looking down.

"They called me on your birthday and invited me to your party. I couldn't stand to see you pregnant and glowing and so happy with someone else so I was ignoring their calls. I didn't realise anything had popped off until after the event." he continued to look down at the floor as kayla joined us and we sat on the other sofa. "what did they want you to give me?" I asked almost scared to know the answer and Jamal stood taking his wallet out. Inside he pulled out three hand written letters. He held them in his hand for a long time before giving them to me. "How did you get these? They are in isolation they aren't allowed mail?" he smiled slightly. "There's always ways shy. Listen while I'm here there is something else I wanted to discuss with you." I nodded as I took the folded letters and held them to my heart. His eyes again drifted to my body. "Is he here?" he asked and I knew he was asking about Jordan. I shook my head "but he's picking us up in like ten minutes" carina said trying to play it safe in case Jamal was trying anything. He nodded again before sitting back down. "Shy I been hearing some fucked up shit about this situation. As soon as I found out about what happened I started looking into things. Jordan's got some enemies shy. There's a guy that used to go to your school I don't know if you know him his names Jermaine?" Rio had said those same words to me before and a shiver raced through my body. I thought then nodded. He was Rios cousin and Sean had been trying to get in with his little group of misfits for ages. "Yeah well Laceys older brother Damage knows him also." "urgh do people call him damage for real?" Kayla asked before carina shushed her.

Jamal continued "more to the point Leanne knows him. Like really well." my head was spinning. He was a nobody to me why would he care about our life. I voiced my opinion and Jamal sighed as he watched me. "Jermaine took over the game when Damage (Laceys brother) went to pen. And was running shit for him. His baby mother is Leanne." "She has kids?" carina asked gasping as I tried to understand it all. "They have a little girl but Leanne is obviously unhinged so Jermaine has custody, anyway she's gone nuts over Jordan right? And she's beefing Jermaine and tells him her new boyfriend 'Jordan' is going to fuck him up" I gasp at the realisation that the crazy girl had actually signed Jordan's death wish without even knowing about it. "So now Jermaine thinks Jordan wants to beef him and discusses it with Damage. Damage finds out its the same Jordan he's got a problem with. So he tells Jermaine about the whole beef he's got with your boy."

"This is ridiculous" i whispered rubbing at my belly which draws Jamal's eye. He takes a deep calming breath and carries on " So Jermaine goes back to Leanne and asks about Jordan and she breaks down saying Jordan is with you and your pregnant." again I was confused "wait so he must have known that Jordan wasn't a threat then?" I asked and Jamal nodded. "Yeah but he knew about the issue with Laceys brother (damage) so he went back and told Damage that Jordan has weaknesses now." We all gasp upon hearing this. "They were going to use me?" I ask my hands shaking as carina and Kayla put their arms around me protectively. "Yeah so they need to know about you. Who knows about you? Lacey. So she has now been put in on the situation. But then they found out about the twins so knew they couldn't take you."

"I'm sorry but how do you know all of this?" carina asked suspicious but I stayed quiet this was way too much information to take in. Why were so many people involved? Oh God I felt sick. "Shy I'm sorry to have to tell you all this. I know I'm the last person you want to say this stuff but I was interested in you and obviously I got connections so I managed to get some information without being bait." I already knew this to be true as when I first met him he seemed to know everything about me without asking any questions. "If you found out all this stuff why didn't you tell the twins and why didn't you tell the police and how come you smell so good what's that about?" Kayla fired questions at him that made carina sigh.