STAY WITH US (BTSxreader)

Chapter 81: Filming and forgiveness

I'm backkkkk!!!

I made a promise to my love victoria that this chap would be shorter, as to 'take it easy' this week for my mental health... but I ended up writing 19,000 words.... sorry love. hehe.

SMUT warning: for later 21+ ...can you guess who it'll be with? mauhahaha

have fun!

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Before I could leave Bang's office and escape this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach Bang was sure to set some rules in place. Not only to protect the boys, but myself as well.

"Okay Y/n." he sighed as he stood up, and I followed along, standing across from him. "I trust you... but I am worried. We can sweep this under the rug for now, but just this once, anything from now on I need you to take responsibility for."

He was right, I couldn't continue to be so irresponsible with the boy's careers.

"Yes sir, I will, I really am sorry."

"I know you are Y/n... just-... Promise me that you'll keep not just them safe, but yourself too. Because y/n, if this picture ever got out there would be backlash towards you as well, and I dread that day ever coming."

I shivered as I thought about it, he was right, it made me sick to even think what would've happened.

"I will sir, I'll be smarter, I promise."

He smiled softly at me as I left, but I could hardly handle anything but a blank expression as I stepped out of his office. When I was finally alone I let out a heavy breath that I had not been able to let go, feeling my eyes water and my lips start to drag down in a deep frown.

I rushed to the bathroom before anyone could see me, giving myself a second to get it together again before I went back out.

I nearly just ruined everything, and it felt awful... yet again. I keep making the same mistake, I'm still careless, I'm careless with their futures.

I let that thought drag me down as I shuffled back to the Bangtan room, curling in on myself as I laid on the couch.

My mind wandered to a world where the photo did leak... what I'd be doing now, how I'd be crying. I imagined what the backlash would be... what they'd say about Jungkook, and what they'd say about me.

Not being able to stop myself I slunk my phone out of my pocket, going to my youtube channel and the comment section under the dance video of Hobi and I.

I know I shouldn't be doing this... but it was like I had no control as I read every negative comment I found. Some way using it to punish myself almost, as if I were telling myself: this almost happened, but it could have been so much worse.

"Who do you think you are Y/n?"

I sighed as I let my screen go black and instead cuddled into the leather couch beneath me, hoping somehow to find peace in its sticky, reflective touch.

...

Luckily the boys didn't notice my change in mood, only putting it to the fact that I was tired from staying up till 4am with Hobi last night. So when I said goodnight to them before eating dinner they didn't read too much into it.

Which is what I wanted, I didn't want to drag them into this... the mess I've made. We were only days away from their big comeback, I couldn't let them worry.

I had hoped the guilt inside of me would have gone after a good rest, but unfortunately it still haunted me the next morning. Though I kept a brave face while around the guys, I'd forgive myself eventually.