How do you heal?

Chapter 3: A Nice Cup Of Tea

Mid-September 2014

Bucky tossed and turned. He had been at the compound for a few weeks now but he couldn't get used to sleeping here. The mattress was too soft, he felt like he was sinking into it and if he did manage to fall asleep it was uneasy and he'd wake from his nightmares sweaty and tangled in the sheets. A few minutes later he gave up on trying to sleep and sat up on the edge of the bed. He ran his hands up his face and through his hair. Fuck. He figured it would be hard to adjust to life here after everything he'd been through but who would have thought that a too soft bed would be his biggest problem? He looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. The soft white glow read 12:54AM. He sighed heavily and stood, grabbing a t-shirt before heading out the door to the kitchen, maybe some ice water would clear his head.

Bucky took a few steps into the dark kitchen and froze. Annie leaned back against the island, arms crossed, staring blankly ahead. What is she doing up? He took a few steps back and watched her for a moment. He hadn't seen too much of her outside of meals in the weeks since he had come here but when he did see her she was always happy and cheerful with a warm smile for everyone she spoke to and a rosy flush on her cheeks. The Annie currently in front of him was a stark opposition. She wore an old green oversized t-shirt that looked like it had seen better days and shorts that just peaked out underneath, intricate black tattoos that were usually hidden by jeans stood out on her pale legs. A gnarled tree that started at her ankle and branched out and rose up under her shorts. The rosy flush to her cheeks was gone and she looked gaunt. Her red curls hung limp and messy. Bucky heard what sounded like bubbling and it seemed like Annie snapped back into her body. She reached forward and pulled an electric kettle towards her and poured hot water into a mug she'd had in front of her. As she pushed the kettle back to its base he stepped forward.

"Hey." He said softly.

She turned towards him and he watched as it took a beat for her to register who was there with her. The moment it clicked, almost like a mask slipping on, her eyes lit up and the blush came back to her face. "Hey yourself!" She replied softly, a smile back on her lips.

"Can't sleep?" Bucky asked as he walked up to the island behind where she stood.

She chuckled a bit and sighed as she turned to face him. "Yeah, I'm a bit of an insomniac. You?"

"Something like that." He replied and nodded towards her cup. "Whatcha got there?"

"You may or may not have noticed but I don't sit still very long unless I'm reading. The laying awake in bed is basically torture so I come out here and make tea blends in the hopes the herbs and action can help put me to sleep. Would you like some?" She asked.

"Why not, it couldn't hurt to try and it also gives me a reason to avoid lying awake in my own room." He pulled out a stool and sat down.

Annie pulled out a large mug and steeper from the cupboard above the sink, setting them on the island before rummaging below and pulling out several tins. "So do you prefer florals or fruits?" She asked, turning to grab a small bowl.

"Uhm, how about dealer's choice." He replied. He wasn't exactly educated in tea components and he'd liked everything she'd cooked so he trusted her judgment. She let out a soft hum as she studied him for a moment with pursed lips.

"Let's try a mix." She began putting little scoops into the bowl. "Lavender for calm, chamomile for sleep, and finally a teeny bit of lemon balm for anxiety and a little zest." Am I that obvious or can she just read people that well? He shifted on his stool feeling strangely exposed. She mixed the dried ingredients around and filled the steeper, placing it in the mug before reaching for the kettle. She filled the mug and pushed it across the counter towards him.

"So, does the tea ever actually help you sleep, or are you just playing mind games with yourself?" He said, bringing the steaming brew to his lips trying to keep the conversation going to ease his tension.

Her hand shot forward, halting his arm. "Wait." Bucky flinched slightly at her touch, not because she had spooked him but he just hadn't expected it. Her hand was calloused but warm and he felt that warmth spread up his arm. She pulled her hand back. "I'm so sorry, it's just you need to let it steep for a minute."

He set his mug back down, shaking his head a bit. "No no, you're fine. Just caught me off guard is all." She nodded and sipped at her own tea, quiet for a moment.

"So, you going to answer me?" He asked, leaning in towards her. Annie only furrowed her brow confused. "Does it work or is it mind games?"

"Oh, right. Uhm, well if I'm really drained I think the chamomile puts me to sleep but I never stay asleep. If nothing else it's an excuse to come out here and watch old movies while I make lists of chores in my head and I think the combination of background noise, open space, and mental organization sometimes exhausts my brain enough that I can get at least a few hours asleep on the couch. But everyone is different so hopefully it helps you."

"I think I can skip the chores list part but just to be safe I should probably join you in the movie watching. You know, just to make sure, for maximum effect." He didn't know why he said it, why he felt the need to insert himself into her strange ritual for attempted sleep. Maybe he was lonely, or maybe he just didn't want to go back to his room and the chance of more nightmares, or maybe he felt a little less on edge around her.

Annie shrugged and gave him a small smile. "Well then, let's give it a shot."