How do you heal?

Chapter 8: What Am I Thinking

Late October 2014

Over the next six weeks Bucky settled into a routine. In the mornings he would train with Steve or run with Nat and then have breakfast with the group. He felt himself getting more comfortable around everyone so much so that he even let Banner and Stark do some research and upgrades on his arm. After breakfast when everyone went about their days to meetings and work he would raid Annie's library and read. At lunch time he would join her in the kitchen and chit chat with everyone as they ducked in to grab their food before hurrying back to their busy schedules. He would linger and talk with her, either about books, music, or movies she thought he should add to his 'must see list' as she cleaned up before she headed back to chores and paperwork. He had tried to help her once and she nearly beat him with a spoon when he didn't 'put the cups away correctly'.

"My kitchen, my way!" She'd cried as she pushed him to a stool. "Either sit there and behave or get out!"

He'd placed his elbows on the island and winked at her as he said, "Yes Ma'am!" He saw her cheeks redden as she turned away. He had ventured into the city a few times to pick up clothes, a phone and a start to his own little library but it was still overwhelming to spend too much time there. Usually after dinner he would sit with Steve and Nat and listen to them talk about their day. Thor and Barton had stopped in a few times and he enjoyed watching as they all bantered and teased each other.

Most nights once everyone went to their separate rooms Bucky would lay awake in his own for a few hours before he headed to the kitchen. Annie had made a tin of tea just for him "in case you need it and I'm not down here" but more often than not she was and on the rare occasion she wasn't he felt his heart drop a little. On the nights they did cross paths they too had their own unspoken routine. She made up the tea while he relayed the stories from the day and when it was ready they went to her room. They would start some show or movie from his list with the pretense of watching but within the hour they were both fast asleep on the couch. He had asked her once, after the second or third time it happened, if it bothered her. "I can't sleep if I am alone and you have nightmares if you are. I think it benefits both of us too much for it to be a bother." And that was that.

One night Annie stood in the kitchen, two mugs already prepped on the counter, waiting for the kettle to boil. As Bucky walked in, her face broke out into a smile. "Sergeant Barnes, fancy meeting you here."

"You know, Annie, we really have to stop meeting like this, the appliances are going to start a rumor." He said, hopping up to sit on the island.

"Luckily they all work for me and if they know what's good for them they will keep quiet. Just like if you know what's good for you you will get your butt off my counter top." She looked at him pointedly as she grabbed the kettle and filled their mugs.

She stepped towards him and as she handed him his drink he grabbed her wrist gently, pulling her in to stand between his legs. She felt her face flush and her eyes go wide as he put a finger under her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes as he said, "You don't scare me, Sweetheart."

After a beat Annie pushed herself back from him and turned to get her own mug taking a deep breath. "Then you aren't as smart as I thought you were. Everyone around here always seems to forget I prepare all the food." She said over her shoulder before taking a sip. She hoped he didn't hear the quaver in her voice.

She heard a laugh and a soft 'thump' as he jumped down. "Easy killer, keep the arsenic on standby for now and I'll behave." He said.

"Highly doubtful." She replied dryly.

As he started towards the hall he joked. "Come on, this movie is on Steve's 'pop culture' list and I'd like to actually watch some of it before you start snoring."

Annie stayed there a moment watching him retreat. Since Charlie's birthday she and Bucky had grown close, they were friends. Other than Sam, Bucky was probably the only other person at the compound she would call her friend but over the last few weeks there had been moments like this. Small looks, light touches. Moments that felt like more. Quit your shit, Gardner. You're lonely and he's hot. Stop reading into it.

Bucky turned back to her. "You coming?"

Annie shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Yes, Sergeant!" She replied with a mock salute.