Lifesteal smp one shots

Bittersweet

Hello everybody!!! I am back with more Rekrap angst this time on suggestions of Lazy_Rosey  

I really had a great time writing this one but it took a little longer than expected so I hope you guys enjoy reading it :D

Parrot Spoke and Rek have always been teammates ever since season two. And although they were really close to each other Rek always felt like an outcast. He always thought Spoke and Parrot were so chill, they were like the cool kids in highschool, blowing stuff up around the smp, lava casting everything. They did everything with such ease. Rek on the other hand was always cautious thinking and over thinking things. It didn't help his nerves at all. Besides all the traps and things on the server really spiked up his anxiety sometimes. Many times Rek ok wished to just stay at his base all day not wanting to go out. He never really felt like he belonged with his team. That he was just pretending all along and that one day Parrot and Spoke would get tired of him and just hate him. Hughh he hated it.

"Yo Rekrap" Spoke screamed as usual interrupting his thoughts. he and Parrot came in covered in paint.

"Do I even want to ask" Rek asked smiling a little at their antics, he really did love them.

"It's best not to. Anyways here's the plan we are going to destroy Vortex's base" Parrot said.

"Ummm I don't know guys I am kinda tired today you go ahead without me" Rek lied, he wasn't really in a good mood and he didn't want to ruin everybody else's mood as well.

"Are you sure bro, it's really fun" Spoke insisted.

"No you guys go ahead I will just hang around the base."

"Okay Rek, text us if you change your mind"

Rek waves the two goodbye, glad he didn't have to go but at the same time he wished he would have went. Maybe he should just have went, let loose a bit. Why did he have to over think everything. God he felt like a coward, a weak person who can't even own up to himself. Everything in his life was a mess. He wanted just burst out crying, he wanted to scream at every one; He just wanted everything to be perfect was that too much to ask for. ____________________________________

Maybe this was his fault Parrot thought as he flicked through the pages of Rek's diary. How he had came into the possession of this item you ask? Well he found it simply. He didn't know if Rek intended for it to be found or was it an accident in any case Parrot was glad he found this. Rek had been going through so much and none of them even noticed. He silently cursed himself, he had been an absolute selfish fool who was so ignorant that he couldn't even understand the pain of someone who is so important in his life he should be ashamed of himself. He continued reading the diary

Dear diary
Ever since I joined lifesteal my life has changed completely, it's exciting chaotic and a little over whelming. I have met some amazing people who instantly made me a part of their little group. We fought battles together, we won some we lost a few but we always stood together no matter what. We became a family but every family has a black sheep sometimes I believe that I don't belong with them. I am glad to have them in my life I really am. They make happy but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve them. They are the absolute best.

Dear diary
Lifesteal has been going crazy with traps every one is trying to outsmart one another regardless of anything. And I have landed in midst of this all. I hate it really. I get so paranoid every time I interact with any of the server members. I feel like a coward but I just want to survive. I don't care if I am the untrapable player or no, I just want to be able to go out without having to over think everything. I feel confused and scared. I just want to feel safe and normal.

Dear diary
I am not sure of anything anymore I don't know who to trust.

Dear diary
I am okay; I am alright; I am okay; I am okay; I am okay?

____________________________________

Rek came back to his base after a long walk, he usually went out to clear his head. Fresh air always made him feel better especially on a nice evening enjoying a beautiful sunset. He walked into his bed room to get changed into something comfortable, that's when he noticed a letter sitting right in the middle of his bed. He picked it up immediately opening it. He recognised the hand writing, smiling softly to himself, he read;

Dear Rekrap,

I want to start by saying I am sorry. I am sorry I wasn't there for you when you were going through this. I am sorry I couldn't understand you as a friend and be there to support. I am sorry because somewhere I feel I have made things worse. I hate that I tried trapping you not once but multiple times. Not once considering your feelings and for what some title. I feel embarassed. But I want remedy this. I wish I could rewind time and take back everything but sadly I can't. I just want to say that you are my best friend and I will always be there for you. You don't need to fit in or pretend because we love the person you are and yes you are not reckless as Spoke or me but that's a good thing we need you to keep us out of trouble. I don't know if you would believe me you will never ever be the black sheep of this family. You are one of the most important person in my life and you are perfect just the way you are. I hope you can trust me again but believe me we will never ever leave your side ever again. We are here for you we all are. I am here for you. And we will figure this out together. You are not alone you will never be. You matter to as much we matter to you. And You deserve every bit of happiness there is. We will make this better I promise you please trust me on this. Rekrap, I love you and I hope you believe me. I will always be here for you because family is forever. Please take care of yourself and if you need anything ever please please tell me. I really mean everything I have said.

-Parrot

Silent shiver went down Rek's spine, his hands trembled, tears slipped down his eyes on to the paper. He started crying; reading and reading the letter; taking in every word every sentence, it meant him the world. He felt so many emotions at once everything thing he had been holding on to sadness, loneliness but also love and hope; everything just burst out. It was like enjoying a bar of dark chocolate and the only word that could describe it was bittersweet.