today is the funeral for Nate, we spent those two weeks to finalize his funeral and get everything ready; I know it's too fast to already have a funeral but I want to move on.
I have been bottling up and being hold up in my room trying to process what happened, Nate is gone... because of me.
I still think it's my fault, I caused this.. but Jack keeps saying it's his fault for not letting him apologize to me.
I was the one who made a scene about it, I could've just left it alone.
The door opened to my bedroom and my brother peeked his head in, "hey, you ready?" He asked.
"Yeah almost ready. Still putting some finish touches to my makeup." I said and wiped away the dry tears that stained my face.
My brother walked into my room and sat on the edge of my bed, "how you been." He asked me.
"Still processing." I said and applied some natural matte lipstick.
"It's going to take some time to fully heal." He said. He stood up and stood behind me. I looked at him through the mirror and Jack saw my eyes shatter in heartbreak.
"We'll be waiting downstairs." He kissed my head and disappeared from my room.
The door opened again and in came my husband, "hey baby." He softly said. I stood up and instantly wrapped my arms around him. "I love you Jack." I said and stared off into a distance.
"I love you too Avery Gilinsky, please don't ever leave me." He suddenly said.
I looked up at him. His eyes were glossy and tears ran down his face.
I wiped his tears and kissed him.
"It's my fault, he would still be here if it wasn't for me." Jack said and sat down on the bed.
I sat on his lap and ran my fingers through his hair, "stop blaming yourself." I said.
"Same goes for you." His voice cracked.
My hand snaked around his head and I slowly rest my lips on his.
"If anything were to happen to you, I would not be able to live." My voice cracked.
We got up from the bed and met with our friends outside, we all piled into limousine. I sat near the window and quickly posted something on instagram.
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@averygilinsky i miss you🕊️LLN
liked by @jackgilinsky and 90m others
@madisonbeer days not over yet and I miss him. @sammywilk he's smiling down at us, he would want us to be happy @jvck.j fuck man :/ @derek_luh bro this is insane @maggielindemann 🥺 @claudiatihan I'm so sorry for your loss :( @stassiebaby :/ @jackgilinsky 💔 @skateegirl what happened!!!!? @jackjfan what happened?!!?!?
"Has anyone talked to Claudia lately." Madison suddenly asked.
"Not since she left." A few said.
A few minutes later, we arrived at the cemetery and parked at the designated spot for the funeral.
We all piled out of the limousine, I saw a familiar figure standing near Nate's casket. I walked over and tapped them on the shoulder; they turned around and I instantly wrapped my arms around her.
"Claudia." I let her name roll off my tongue.
"Hey Avery." She said and we both instantly started crying our eyes out.
God I missed her, "I missed you so much." I said as we both pulled away.
Our friends finally caught up to us and they all exchanged hugs with Claudia.
I walked over and stood beside my husband, his arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me close to him.
"You okay my love." Jack asked as he kissed the top of my head.
"I'm okay." I laid my head on his chest.
After the funeral, we gathered around his grave as we watched them slowly lower his casket down. I fell on my knees and broke down.
Jack wrapped his arms around me as I weeped in his arms, I watched as the casket went lower into the ground. It finally stopped and we all took turns throwing in white roses while I was crying my eyes out.
Jack handed me a rose, I wiped my tears.
I left a kiss on it and threw mines in, jacks arms grabbed me and he picked me up, "cmon baby." He said and held onto me. I blacked out.
"AVERY." I heard a couple people shout my name before I blacked out.
-Jack POV-
I picked her up and she fainted in my arms.
"AVERY." I yelled before she blacked out.
I carried her bridal style and walked over to the limousine, the door opened and I laid her down on the seat.
"Can someone stay with her while I help them pack everything up?" I asked our group of friends.
"I will." Claudia said and she got into the limo.
We finally finished packing everything up, they confirmed that the headstone will arrive in about few days. They'll call when it's arrived.
I opened the limo door and got in, our friends followed behind.
I sat next to Avery and put her head on my lap, "she still haven't woken up?" I asked Claudia.
She shook her head no, "I checked her pulse but it was faint." She said and gave me a worried look.
"Let's just go home, and figure out why she won't wake up." I said. Derek notified the driver and we headed on the way home.
About 20 minutes later, we finally arrived home, the chauffeur drove up our driveway and we all piled out, I carried Avery bridal style into the house and to the living room.
I laid her down carefully as Madison grabbed a blanket, she handed it to me and covered her body. "Is she going to be okay." Madison asked in a worried voice.
I felt for a pulse and it wasn't there, "she has no pulse." I started to freak out.
"Does anyone know how to do CPR." I stood up and started freaking out.
Claudia walked over and laid Avery flat and did CPR.
"Someone call 911 or-
I broke down in tears.
Derek got on the phone with 911 and they should be here in about five minutes.
A few minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. Derek opened up and the paramedics came in with a stretcher.
They put Avery on the stretcher and strapped her down while Sammy explained what happened to her.
I caught a ride with the paramedics while the others followed behind us.
We finally arrived at the hospital while they rushed her in, "sir please stay here while we help your wife." The nurse stopped me. They led me to the waiting room and I sat down.
I put my head in my hands and started crying.
"Jack." I heard my name being called.
I looked up to see my friends walking towards me.
"Any updates." Derek asked and sat down beside me.
"They just took her in." I said and ran my hand through my hair. I have red puffy eyes from crying.
Avery's doctor walked out and I knew it was instant bad news.
