frick frack | anne with an E

year for love

It was almost midnight before Anne could open Gilbert's journal again. She had to sneak up the stairs to retrieve it climbing over her friends. The living room was a mess, with tissue paper folded in a huge pile, and half-eaten cookies, sitting on a plate in front of her. Sitting in a chair next to the main couch she wrapped herself in a blanket, ready to read about how much of a horrible person she was to her now boyfriend.

December 25th, 2015

If we were friends, could I give her a gift? I wouldn't even know what to get her- maybe a book. I think she would like that.

January 18th, 2016

Today Anne came into class, she was late which already was off enough. Her hair was halfway loose from her normal braids, her face was red from the cold. I didn't even notice I was staring until Billy elbowed me, he asked what I even saw in her. I didn't tell him this but I see everything I could ever hope for in her.

Anne continued to read as her friends slept, occasionally looking up at them when one of them changed positions or started to snore softly. A part of her wanted to get to Freshman year, to read about what Gilbert was feeling when she was dating Roy, she wanted to know what he was thinking when they were on their first homework dates. But another part of her wanted Gilbert to tell her himself, he looked up at him, just barely able to make him out in the dark. She was his girlfriend after all. In the past, he has mentioned what he was feeling but it always felt like he changed topics quickly or would glance over the finer details. She looked down at the journal running her fingers over the words, barely able to read them as the winter night sky made the room darker and darker as time passed.

"Maybe we both don't know how to say the things we feel" is all she whispered. She smiled knowing that Gilbert did want to talk to her but understood that it was hard. It was hard to confess your love in the rain at sunset, that the real world wasn't just confessions and sorrows. Sometimes it's hard to say the things we want to say, to tell the person we lov- like, that we have these feelings that we have struggled with in the past. She looked at Gilbert from across the room, she too had things she wished she could tell him. Things about her past that only very few know about.

Anne stood up going back to him, she softly lifted him into her lap, running her fingers across his cheek.

"I love you too Gilbert Blythe," is all she whispered into the room, confessing to asleep Gilbert and the moon.

-

Christmas at the Cuthberts was something Anne had only the pleasure of a few times so far. Before Anne, Christmas had been described as a very brief exchange to Anne. There was not much to it once Matthew and Marilla's brother and mother passed. Both not feeling the want and need to make a whole spectacle of the day. Of course, still celebrating the religious aspects of the holiday, but the decorations, huge gift exchange, and Christmas dinners were nothing that they participated in. The two exchanged maybe a few gifts, a small dinner after Church, and a tree lightly decorated. After Anne though, it all changed. The first year Anne was there the Cuthberts kept their traditions but of course, Anne started to ask questions. If they hung lights outside, did they decorate their stair railings in beautiful tinsel and Garland, did they invite friends and family over after Church- all the answers being no to her questions. Anne's disappointment quickly showed on her face the more she realized that Christmas was not a huge day for every family like she thought.

Little to Anne's knowledge the Cuthberts did have all the things she asked about, it just had not been out on display in years. So as the Cuthberts hung up their usual decorations they were able to make Anne believe that was all. It was because on Christmas morning of her first Christmas with her family they surprised her. Decorating the house the way Anne had mentally envisioned. Lights twinkle from the roof of their home, stockings lined the fireplace which now had a stocking with the name Anne stitched into it next to Marilla and Matthews's own stocking, the Christmas tree more decorated compared to the day before, Garland strung from the railing of the stairs and every ledge in the living room. It was all the potential Anne saw in her head but now it was all real, all something she could touch and feel now.

This year was no different. After her mini Christmas with her friends a few days prior Anne has been over the moon since. Periodically reading a few pages from the book Gilbert had given her. Anne waited a few minutes before going downstairs, on Christmas morning. Debating on what was to be her gifts under the tree in their parlor. Matthew had been sitting at the kitchen table for probably a long time reading a newspaper, his glasses sitting on the brim of his nose. Anne moved her chair closer to Matthew sitting down and reading Avonlea's Digest over his shoulder, Matthew moved the paper to be angled towards her a little bit more. Soon enough Marilla walked down the steps Anne watched with a smile as Marilla debated where to put her hand on the railing every few steps not wanting to crush their decorations. Bidding Good Morning as she made a cup of coffee taking a seat in the parlor indicating it was time for Anne to open presents.

Anne put her chair tucked back under the table and sat on the floor next to the tree passing out presents to Matthew and Marilla before opening her own. The two siblings gave each other novels like usual. Knowing they would be reading and trading books with each other in a few weeks. Anne received new pens and journals and the best gift of all a new charm for her bracelet. Usually for either her birthday or Christmas, Anne would receive a charm from Matthew. It started when she was 13th on her birthday and the tradition has continued from there. Within minutes the charm was added to her bracelet- this year it was a heart. She played with the other charms on her bracelet. Twisting them between her fingers. The first year was a hat. As the years went by various items that Matthew felt represented her year were added. A pencil for her first year of high school, a Christmas tree for her first Christmas with the Cuthberts, and a pair of angel wings to represent the show she did in 8th grade for the school where she played an Angel alongside Diana and Ruby. The list goes on and Anne loved every single one of them.

After the presents the three of them collected the wrapping paper, putting the parlor back together. They talked as they cleaned and sat on the couches continuing their conversation. Talking about the day's events and what needed to get done before Christmas dinner. Like every year Rachel and her husband were to attend for a small Christmas dinner with them. But before church or getting ready the three continued to talk. They asked about Diana and wanted to make sure everything between the two of them was ok. The three of them talked about Gilbert and how they were. At one point Anne looked around the room as Matthew and Marilla talked about something, her hand playing with the charm. This really was the year for love. She had grown close to Gilbert in more ways than she could ever imagine, her and Diana's relationship was at its strongest as they continued to talk about everything with each other not hiding anything from each other, Ruby and Diana were slowly starting to get closer, and since the ice skating day, James and Cole had started to talk more and more. Anne smiled at her family wishing it would stay like this forever, always to feel this warmth, this love, this home.