the Devil and the Sea

25| BBQ: Sex... with whom?

The alcohol and lack of sleep makes me a little dizzy, and everything else that happened this evening just blows my mind.

Maybe just go home and go to bed? Ricky doesn't care where I am, whether I come back or not. I do not want to return, so as not to destroy the current state of euphoria, but it is necessary. I step back to the beach: if I go home, I will be crushed by my own thoughts. I need to unwind.

When I return to the beach, no one asks me where I was, as if no one noticed my absence. We fool around, sitting at a table and finishing off the remaining alcohol, then we take pictures for memories next to the fire. The fire gently illuminates the space, and our eyes shine brighter, reflecting the dancing flames. Phil, me, my brother, and Ricky, lit by firelight, forever captured together in one shot. In a picture that will keep the memory of the carefree days before meeting Vincent.

An hour later, we are going home, collecting our things and garbage.

After saying goodbye to the others, Phil and Ricky and I go to Phil's house and leave everything with him.

We linger at Phil's house and he cracks jokes, and Ricky and I laugh like it's the last time. It's already dawning, and we don't even think of leaving. These guys are cool and I feel so carefree spending time with them.

Phil walks into the house and when he walks out with Vincent, my insides freeze. Vincent appears before us in a black T-shirt and boxers. Very sleepy with disheveled hair and no glasses. Even so, he seems very attractive. Vincent rubs his eyes and looks around us, lingering on me longer than the others. It's strange, but I wanted to see embarrassment in blue eyes, but he looks as indifferent as possible. Most likely Vincent has already overslept and does not remember anything. Thinking about it, I feel sad, I myself would like to forget everything, but I was not drunk and I even envy him a little.

Vincent leans back on the fence and looks at me. I silently look back, but Phil distracts his attention, throws his arm around his shoulders and starts to tease him.

At five o'clock in the morning, we finally part and I decide to look at Vincent for the last time: he looks at me like he was waiting for me to look at him and winks at me.

Vincent. Winks. To me.

And that's all I got.

I can't help but smile.

We say goodbye to Vincent and Phil. I go home thinking about Vincent's delicious lips. I got to know his taste, and I would love to kiss him again.

Vincent's audacity struck me, I remember how he kissed, and the pulse quickens again. Well, it was easy and I can't hide the smirk that plays on my lips.

I walk completely satisfied that the planned has come true, I ignore Ricky's chatter.

I grin smugly: even if it was only one time, it was worth it.

I decide to watch the sunrise as Ricky enters the house.

My thoughts return to Vincent again. I don't really like it, I don't like it at all. He does not attract me either as a guy, or as a friend, or as an interesting conversationalist. I just wanted to get his attention, but I don't understand why. At first, everything annoyed me: his stupid laugh, smile and glasses, the habit of slightly stooping, blond hair, stubble, demeanor, the way he talks. His attempt to teach me. Vincent is not my type, and yet I am drawn to him, as if a program is sewn into the fabric of brain that makes me act.

I suddenly remember a quote by Max Fry: "Lying is a pernicious habit: once you learn it, you immediately begin to be cunning even when you are alone with yourself."

I go into my room, Ricky is lying on the bed among the pillows, when I come closer he pulls my hand and sits me on top of him.

"Everything is fine?" Ricky strokes my cheek with his hand.

Everything is fine if you don't think that you'll never change. At least not now, and not for me.

"Is something wrong?" I ask a counter question, close my eyes and enjoy the caress.

"You look kind of indifferent." He looks into my eyes as if trying to read something in them.

"Everything is fine, I assure you," I answer calmly and start rubbing against his erect cock.

Vincent has turned me on too much and I need a release.

"I've been waiting for so long when we can be alone," he whispers into my neck and puts his hand in my underpants, "I want you so much," it's about us, first we quarrel, and then we just fuck as if nothing had happened.

"I'm yours," I take Ricky's face in my palms, look into his burning green eyes. I hope I can make myself believe the nonsense I just said. I fail, but... who cares?

Ricky lowers his boxers, then pulls my panties down rapidly with his fingers. He thrusts in hard, filling me up inside. I hold back a groan, straighten my back, and move my hips in time with his thrusts.

"Baby, you are so wet," Ricky pulls me to him and pulls off the T-shirt, kisses my chest, "I love that you are always ready to accept me."

Ricky grabbed my pelvis with both hands, holds my body on weight and enters with sharp jerks.

"You always want me, no less than I want you," I let out a quiet groan in response, "no one will come between us, baby, it will always be only you and me, only you and me."

I cover his mouth with my hand. My gaze falls on my hand, and I see the traces of blood that Vincent left with his lips.

I feel his cock tense up, he's on the verge, ready to come. I close my eyes and the haunting image of Vincent appears in my mind's eye.

Crap.

I can't get rid of this image that has risen before my eyes, and the body instantly shudders in a sweet orgasm.

"Yes, baby, I can feel you," his voice rasps into my palm.

Vincent picks up the pace... I mean Ricky! Ricky picks up the pace.

Ah, so nice! I keep my eyes closed.

"Now let me cum too," he pulls out his cock and releases himself on my buttocks.

I lower myself onto his chest and give myself time to catch my breath.

"I love you," Ricky whispers in my ear.

"I love you too," I answer reflexively and do not feel any accompanying feelings. I stopped wondering a long time ago whether this is true or not.

After Ricky wipes me off with wet wipes, I fully feel how tired I am and roll over in bed with my back to him, making myself comfortable on the pillow. Ricky makes me turn to face him, I put my head on his chest.

I just fucked Vincent in my head, it's not funny anymore. Am I in love with him?