the Devil and the Sea

50| Awakening

I invite him to the porch with me. When we are outside, I light a cigarette. Vincent straightens his back and gets even taller, much taller than when he's hunched over.

Vincent makes attempts to reassure me.

"I don't care, everything has been coming to this for a long time, and you have absolutely nothing to do with it." I interrupt him, afraid to look him in the eye.

Vincent steps closer and I look at him with a sinking heart.

"You shouldn't have fought Ricky." I'm talking.

"I shouldn't have defended myself, you mean?" He smirks.

I'm just now thinking that Vincent has his own demons, but he carefully hides them. And I want to not only see his demons, but also make friends with them.

I'm ready to fall in love with them.

"I should have done this much sooner." I release a cloud of smoke to the side.

"What is done is done." Vincent says calmly and runs his finger along my cheekbone, and my heartbeat quickens. Vincent smirks, I stare at him, and he comes close and leaves a few short kisses on my lips, as if reminding me of what it all happened for. I can taste a metallic taste on my tongue. Vincent pulls away and I meet his eyes.

"You need to quit smoking," he says and throws his leather jacket over me.

"I know it." And I take out another cigarette.

Vincent and I sit down on the bench and I need more moments like this. We talk until sunrise. He admits that he wants to know me much more than he knows me now.

"So you're not at all upset about breaking up with Ricky?" he asks again.

"No, I don't care," I'm beginning to believe it myself. "I would get drunk with grief, but everything is fine." I wink at him with a wide grin in an attempt at a joke.

He smiles sincerely and looks at me.

"What?" I ask and turn away in embarrassment.

"What?" he asks.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"How do I look at you?" His smile widens and he moves even closer.

"I don't know, like you can't see enough."

"That's right." He grabs my chin with thumb and forefinger and turns me around to face him.

I worry; looking into his blue eyes, I worry double. I can't figure out what's next for me.

"You are so mysterious, I want to solve your riddle," Vincent tucks a stray lock of my hair behind my ear. "I wonder if I can figure it out at all?" He asks as if to himself.

"How are things with your girlfriend?" I'm starting.

Vincent laughs at the question.

"I do not know." He replies lazily, surprisingly.

"How is that?" I'm afraid to know what I'm not supposed to know, but I can't stop my curiosity.

"I don't know what she does there in my absence, we only phoned two or three times, no more."

Wow! I thought they talked for hours. I thought he was just playing with my brain when he talked about it last time. However, he may still be lying. Anyway, I don't have much reason to believe him.

"Why?"

"I already said - I'm not interested, we do not have such a relationship as you think. I am not interested in talking to her, there is nothing to talk about with her; she is closed in on herself."