the Devil and the Sea

77| The painful truth or the comforting lie

We jump into a cab that takes us up the Tibidabo, passing through the beautiful villas of Sarria. We pass the Carretera de la Arrabassada where I ran away from Vincent and hung out at the villa with Jesus. We stop in Vallvidrera, at the Mirador (yes, Mirador means lookout).

"I want to show you a special place." I tell Vincent, stroking the chain around my neck. On the way we buy a few bottles of Moritz beer, a local brand of beer here in Barcelona.

I lead Vincent up a steep, muddy path and we find ourselves under the Collserola Tower, a 300-meter antenna that seems to be watching over the city from the top of Barcelona's main hill, Tibidabo. This antenna has the best view of the city below. The antenna was built for the 1992 Olympics and is a popular place to watch the sunset, for couples to kiss or even just plain and openly have a fuck over the city

We are sitting on a big rock. The whole city is at our feet. I start showing Vincent around places of interest: this is where I went to school, this is the FC Barcelona stadium, and so on.

Vincent stares at me without looking away, and I didn't notice when our fingers intertwined and we're holding hands.

I try to dive into myself, but Vincent's testing gaze does not leave me and prevents me from focusing on something else.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" With a smile I try to be indignant.

"I want to remember what you look like. Imprint your image in memory," his voice gives away sadness, even though he speaks with a smile.

Vincent brings my hand to his lips and kisses through every word:

"You. Too much. Beautiful. I'll take you out of here." These words break my heart, it's unbearable. "I have to take you with me." Vincent seems to say this to himself, but he burns me with his eyes.

Well, you have to...

"You will return home, to your usual surroundings, and these thoughts will no longer worry you." I pretend to be innocent.

Ruining such a pleasant moment.

"After meeting you, things will never be the same again," he declares confidently.

I would like this confidence to convince myself that there is nothing wrong with Vincent leaving immediately after the distance between us has decreased.

I turn and look down at the city, and when I look back at Vincent, I find that he is photographing me.

I close my left eye and smile for the camera.

"I'll hang your pictures on the wishing wall," he says. "Then you will definitely be in my hands."

I give him the middle finger and he leans over and pinches it between his teeth.

The next moment, Vincent pulls me to him and hugs me. Vincent holds my hand. Vincent puts his hand on my thigh. Vincent pulls me close like it's possible to snuggle even closer.

This must be my favorite day.

I lay my head on his shoulder.

"What time is it?" I push him, after a while.

Vincent looks at the phone.

"Almost nine o'clock."

"It's time for us to go back to Sitges." I'm stretching sitting still.

We return to Sants train station and take the train to Sitges.

When we arrive at the Sitges train station, the phone rings and Vincent puts the phone to his ear without taking his eyes off me.