the Devil and the Sea

41| Shelling from all sides

Be that as it may, this is a very difficult test: not to stare at him now. Vincent smoking a cigarette without me. A gloomy Vincent, inhaling smoke. Vincent, who is thinking and looking somewhere into the distance. Vincent, who hurriedly brings a cigarette to his plump lips, and, inhaling the smoke, immediately exhales it rapidly.

If he wants to get my attention in such a strange way, he is succeeding. I stare at him and draw an analogy between him and the cigarette in his hand. I also inhale and saturate my lungs, blood, heart and brain with it. After, when I smoke Vincent to the ground, I will throw it out as useless. However, I am afraid of the chance of poisoning, and I would like to avoid such consequences.

I meet his gaze and immediately turn away, as if he can read my thoughts through my eyes, and I feel uncomfortable to even consider that possibility.

"You let him get into your thoughts and take over your feelings," the devil teases from his right shoulder.

Yes, I'm in deep shit.

Ricky suddenly throws his arm around my neck and pulls me to face him. Green eyes look fervently into mine, and I mechanically briefly kiss him on the tip of his nose.

"It seems we're not the only ones on a difficult relationship." Ricky says nodding towards Vincent and my heart skips a beat.

"Misery loves company - what a crappy excuse." I manage to say before Ricky covers my mouth with a kiss.

His tongue deftly slides in my mouth, his lips skillfully move on mine. This kiss does not last very long, and the green eyes again look with a gleam into mine.

"We will overcome everything." Ricky's voice sounds confident, but I got to know him too well to believe.

I grin into green eyes and straighten my back. Freeing myself from Ricky's arm, I meet Vincent's focused gaze, which, if he could, would have burned a hole through me long ago. My heart is pounding like crazy, but I don't let a single face muscle move. Surely Vincent is waiting for me to look away in embarrassment or smile. But I do what he does - wait for him to look away first. But he does not withdraw. He continues to stare directly at me for a while as if there is no one else.

I could give in, soften my gaze or whatever, but I arch my eyebrow haughtily and continue to press my gaze.

Vincent must realize that he is the mouse in the cage, not me.

He surrenders, lowering his eyes, apparently it dawned on him that he ran far behind his fantasies in the hope of seeing my vulnerability, but the reality is harsher. I would say that it seemed to me that Vincent was jealous, but then it would mean that he was crazy. It is unlikely that he clung to me with his eyes, he wanted to show banal jealousy.

Ricky looks at me wide-eyed and I stare back, feeling like I'm going to break into a sweat if he doesn't stop looking like he knows something. I tense my whole body, damn, I don't want to see the pain in his green eyes, not now.

I mentally prepare for the fact that Ricky will start to say nasty things, meaning that he understood everything, and I give him a forced smile. We must pretend that nothing is happening, Ricky should not get hurt. Not only that: he should not know anything. If I hurt him, I will be hurt too.

I wink at Ricky and give him a friendly shove on the shoulder with mine. He takes me in an armful and presses me to him, very hard, as if he wants to break me.

Pinching his nipple, I pull myself out of his tight embrace. I laugh as he rubs the affected area, grimacing in pain.

I shift my focus away from Vincent, pour myself sangria and listen to Phil chatter and laugh at his jokes, laugh even louder when Joan completes them well.