the Devil and the Sea

48| Bad girl

Vincent looks up at me thoughtfully.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as walk past him, putting the dishes in the sink.

"I do not know." Vincent sighs.

I lean against the tabletop and catch his thoughtful gaze. He is worried about something.

"Who do you want to be?" Vincent asks and looks at me inquisitively.

I look away: when I look at him, my ability to think is greatly reduced.

"I want to be myself."

"Do you know who you are?"

What does he want?

"Do you know who you are?" I ask in the same vein.

Vincent chuckles.

"I haven't found myself yet."

"You don't need to look for yourself, you need to create yourself," I casually toss.

Vincent bends his long legs at the knees and then stands up.

"I want to know who you are." He says, as if I am not letting him do it.

Just as Vincent takes a step toward me, Ricky appears at the kitchen door. Vincent gives him an indifferent look, and I dig my fingers into the edges of the tabletop, as if it might give me something to hold on to, and look at Ricky fearfully. Ricky looks at me with drunken eyes, then at Vincent. His face twists into a disgusted grimace as he glances at me one last time, but says nothing.

"Where have you been? Let's go drink with the others," Ricky says to Vincent.

"Well, yes, they haven't drunk yet," he remarks sarcastically in response.

I hurriedly leave the kitchen under Ricky's menacing gaze and run out to the street.

What should I do?

I wander around the yard and do not notice how much time passes.

When I am about to return to the house, Adriana and Lewis are already about to go home, Ricky and Joan came out to say good bye. Vincent and Marina, who had been rather quiet all evening, apparently decided to stay in the house. I say goodbye to the guys and go into the house.

While I clear the table, Vincent and Marina sit on the couch and she questions him about his studies at Oxford. I sit on the edge of the sofa for five minutes and listen to the chesty sound of his voice, ignoring the actual words he says, just enjoying the timbre.

Marina offers to watch a movie and turns on the TV.

By the time I finish cleaning, Ricky has already joined for the movie.

I join them and sit in a chair, not on the sofa with everyone.

I look at Marina, she has probably watched this comedy for the hundredth time and still chuckles at some scenes. Ricky is mentally loaded with something, looks like he has a very serious business to do. Does he know everything? Or he is simply infuriated by my behavior, which is more likely?

"Come here." Suddenly, Ricky calls me.

"Where is here?"

"With me, on the sofa." He pulls my hand, but I take it out.

"There is no more room there, I'll sit here," smiling, I stand my ground, Ricky sighs as if I betrayed him and framed the whole world.

I offer Vincent tea and biscuits and he accepts. In the kitchen, I boil water and choose a mug that I like the most, put a bag of my favorite green tea in it, I already know that Vincent drinks tea without sugar, so I just pour boiling water and add a pinch of love. Kidding.