the Devil and the Sea

55| Revelations

My breathing gradually recovers, I turn my head and look at Vincent's face with interest. I have an unbearable desire to say what I am feeling now, to run my fingers over his handsome face, but what if he pushes my hand away? The mere thought terrifies me. The lines between us are not erased - sex does not change anything. We are still far away. We are still in the mud. It's still just a game.

Recovering and pulling off the condom, Vincent gets up and begins to dress. I also quickly pull my things. The thought takes possession of consciousness – to get away far away. I think I should tell Vincent it's time to go home.I don't want him to say it first and confirm that by getting my body so quickly, he will also rapidly lose interest.

I'm desperately trying to calm my heartbeat. What was I thinking, wanting to have an affair with this guy that I don't know at all and that I'll never see again in a week? But I wanted him and I was tired of giving up my desires.

To my surprise, Vincent turns to me, and the smile he gives me is a little reassuring. I am torn apart by conflicting feelings. I want to run away and stay at the same time.

I decide to smoke first - smoking after sex has long been a habit. I take out two cigarettes and hand one to Vincent, who takes it. Silently we smoke in the silence of the night, each thinking about his own.

I look at the time, it's four o'clock in the morning.

"What is your last name?" I ask before I can think.

Vincent laughs an idiotic laugh. And I start laughing with him, realizing how the question sounds.

"Why?" After a moment of silence, Vincent answers a question with a question.

I want to find him on a social network, I don't know why, this desire just suddenly appeared.

"I just got curious."

"It looks like you had sex with a stranger and now you decided to ask what his name is."

"I knew your first name before sex." I elbow him in a friendly way and he bares his perfect teeth again.

"My last name is Damon."

Vincent Damon.

I try to remember, I repeat his last name to myself several times in a row.

Vincent grabs me and, sitting down, pulls me along, I sit between his legs and lean back against his chest.

"Well, that's it Victoria Gallardo, now you are my girlfriend."

What?

I'm momentarily stunned by the way my full name escapes his lips in that husky tone. This is the first time he's said my name, and there's something unsettlingly intimate about it.

His voice sounds so confident and serious that I am frightened. Vincent pushes me closer to him and I grin.

"I'm not your girlfriend." I declare and do not even try to hide the laughter in my voice.

"Why not?" I can hear confusion in his voice.

Why yes? Now I am confused myself.

"Because it's just sex, a short affair and nothing more," I casually pronounce every word, "in a few days you will return to your girlfriend, and I will continue to live my life as if nothing had happened."

I turn my head and see Vincent's brow furrowed in serious thought. I can feel him tense up, and I already regret saying that. But I should have, should have said it before he did. It will be better this way. Let him not think that now I will be trailing behind him. I. Don't. Need. Him. No need to complicate things, we will not succeed, and we both know it.