the Devil and the Sea

51| Full speed ahead!

When I wake up, I look at the display on my phone and am horrified to see it is noon already. I rub my eyes and look around: today my bright room seems even brighter. I played this moment in my mind's eye many times: the day after. How would my room feel when Rick was gone? Would it feel empty? Now that we are here, to be honest, it doesn't. I feel absolutely fine.

I stretch out in bed, so spacious and free. It's nice to be alone. I go to the mirror and see dark circles under my eyes. After I said goodbye to Vincent, I tossed and turned in bed for over an hour. This whole Vincent affair is frighteningly addictive, and I thought about everything he said as we greeted the dawn this morning.

I put on a black T-shirt of my boyfriend, that is, my now ex-boyfriend, and go down to the kitchen. The kitchen windows are open and I hear voices from the street: Adriana and Lewis have come to visit Joan. Am I the only one sleeping until twelve?

I sip my coffee and turn around to head back into the room, but my heart sinks as Vincent's voice makes me freeze in place. I go to the bathroom and try to quickly clean myself up to hide the effects of four hours of sleep.

Mom is sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in her hands when I gather my courage and go downstairs.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her.

"Good. Did you and Vincent spend the whole night together?"

How does she know?

"I heard that he left early in the morning and you went home." She answers my silent question.

"Yeah."

I walk over to the table and pour myself some coffee.

"So you broke up with Ricky after all?"

"Yes."

Mom looks at me curiously. I smile at her and quickly walk out the door before she asks for anything else.

I go out into the street with a mug of coffee in my hand and stop at the table on the terrace, everyone wishes me good morning, I kindly answer the same.

"Ricky went home, do you know?" I ask Joan.

"He's with Nora."

"Maybe he should start dating Nora, since he's drawn to her so often." I say laughing, knowing Joan's opinion in advance.

Joan chuckles in response.

"Not likely," he laughs, "do you want me to call him?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

We laugh with him.

I meet blue eyes and resist the urge to go up to Vincent: I'm afraid it won't be appropriate now. So I just sit down at the table.

I drink coffee and silently watch everyone who has gathered in my yard on this sultry Sunday. My brother fiddles in the open hood of his car, Lewis helps him, and Vincent stands next to them and chats. Adriana rocks her son in the stroller and chirps something to him, we exchange smiles.

"Did you and Ricky really break up?" Without further ado asks Adriana, sitting down at the table with me. "Joan told me."

I can feel Vincent's eyes on me.

"Yes, we broke up." I agree with no hesitation.

"Because of which?"

Yep, you can tell from her face that she's amused. Rather, she does not believe in our quarrel: Ricky and I have already parted more than once, and again converged.

Why did we really break up? It becomes funny to me. Because I'm a terrible bastard. I remember that Adriana yesterday urged me to get together with Vincent.