the Devil and the Sea

64| Declaration of love?

Luckily, Vincent comes through the front doors and sits in a seat right in front of me, but doesn't see me. I'm really lucky that the seat backs are high.

I try once again not to move and breathe as quietly as possible. I understand how stupid I am, catching the strange look of the driver, but I can't help myself. I carefully pull the headphones off my ears and put the phone in my pocket. I still can't focus on anything else.

Vincent and I haven't seen each other since we had sex, and I'm afraid of meeting him.

I breathe a sigh of relief when we arrive, and Vincent, in a hurry, is the first to get off the bus. I hesitate and follow after, waiting a few seconds. I choose a parallel road and go home, watching Vincent from the side, he has a strange gait, looks kind of ... joyful?

Moron.

Vincent is walking fast and I try to keep up, I wonder where he is in such a hurry?

When our paths diverge, I accelerate even more. Vincent will definitely come to me right away. I have a feeling that he will come. I need to get myself sorted out.

When I get home, I take a shower: no more than five minutes; I go into the kitchen and make coffee; looking for something to eat.

Passing by the window, with peripheral vision I notice that someone has approached and I stare. In a fraction of a second, Vincent's mischievous face crashes into my consciousness through the optic nerve, sending a strange impulse through my entire body.

Seeing me through the window, Vincent smiles and waves his hand affably. I can't think of anything better than giving him the middle finger. Vincent immediately frowns at the gesture, and I turn away from the window.

Vincent really came - it worries me and scares me a lot.

That feeling when you make yourself coffee before going out, but the only thing you want before going out is not to go out.

I drink a generous sip from the mug, burning my tongue. I grab cigarettes. I sip more coffee, burning my entire mouth. Cursing and straightening my shoulders, I take a deep breath, gaining courage, and leave the house.

"Let's go," I say shortly and walk past, forcing Vincent to catch up.

Outside the yard, we head to one of my favorite places. I live in the south of Sitges. So, walking along the embankment, you can see many old houses. Catalan families in the 19th century went to America in search of fame and fortune. We call them "Indianos" (meaning "from the Indies"). Many returned rich and built beautiful mansions along the waterfront of Sitges. I love walking past these houses and I dream that one day I will have one of these places ... with Vincent.

"Why are you so nervous?" Vincent asks with interest.

I frown at him sideways, he looks so excited.

When will he start attacking me?

"I'm fine, you just caught me by surprise." I successfully hide the excitement in my voice.

"How did you spend time with your friends?" Vincent asks.

"With friends?"

He catches my eye.

"Well, yes, you went yesterday," he explains uncertainly.

"I think you can say - I regretted that I went."

Vincent closes his eyes and smiles at something. I feel so warm inside when I see him so... peaceful?

Yesterday I was sure that I had done the right thing by leaving him; but now, when I see Vincent, I deeply regret the lost evening.

He silently smiles: it seems he's not going to say anything bad.