Your Addiction, Simon Ghost Riley x Reader

Scars of the past

[ tw: some mentions of an abusive relationship] 

...

One month after the accident

...

Covered in cold sweat. My eyes snapped open. Was this just a nightmare or an actual incident?

I blinked twice and said nothing. I started looking around my room suspiciously, wondering if the horror had followed me. But after a few moments I quickly stumbled to the bathroom. Slowly looking in the mirror, too scared to see the real me.

A minor scar covered my left side of the face now that my cheek had healed. Each time I saw my reflection I felt disgusted. But I was proud of myself.

I checked my watch and realised it was only 4am. Not knowing what to do I fully opened the window hoping to feel the warm breeze kiss my skin. I took a puff of my cigar while sitting on the windowsill. The world seemed more than peaceful at that moment. More than perfect.

I loved nights. When I was younger, I used to stay up late and look at the bright stars. That dim and faint moonlight. It always brought me comfort.

I got up after finishing my cigar and decided to check the main room in hopes of finding someone who was still awake.

Unfortunately, no one was there. Despite my disappointment, I thought a cold shower would be quite refreshing, so I returned to my room.

But because I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings I didn't notice there was someone in that room.

...

All parts of my body were touched by cold water. It had been so long since I had had a normal shower. The pleasure I felt as I closed my eyes relaxed me.

As I washed my entire body, I didn't even notice when my hands began touching all of my scars, including the one on my abdomen.

It reminded me of Ghost. The sharp feeling in my heart made me realise I was indeed falling in love with him. It was difficult for me to cope with situations like these because I had no control over them. The fact that he had all the power made me feel jealous more than anything else. But hiding all my feelings seemed like the most sensible option.

A few minutes passed and I finally decided to turn off the shower. And there I was, naked, looking in the mirror, observing every single scar that I had. But the moment my gaze moved from my feet to my eyes, I saw him.

Standing just a few meters behind me.

I had no idea what to do. My whole body became numb. And there was no point in turning around or hiding since he could see my reflection. I was trapped.

But something was different.

Only after analysing his entire body I realised his eyes had changed. There was no hatred. Sadness and pain covered his whole face. I could feel it.

He didn't take his eyes off me, and after some time his expression softened.

At the same time, my head was empty but there were millions of thoughts flowing through it. It seemed like he was admiring my body, but who could ever love a woman like me, I thought.

Our eyes met. A single tear rolled down my face but I quickly wiped it away and continued to look at his face.

"Didn't mean to make you cry, Heroin" His calming voice filled my room.

"Sometimes even the easiest battles are too tough for a soldier like me" Anyone could have noticed how hurt I felt at that moment.

And so I turned around not scared of feeling rejected. I noticed his eyes moving, checking my whole body out once again. His eyes locked on my wet hair-covered breasts but out of respect he finally turned away.