Simon was already deep in his sleep. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath. It was calming to see him so peaceful. Him feeling safe around me.
And so morning came. I was the first one to wake up and wanting him to get as much rest as possible without any sudden movements I got out of his embrace. It was a sunny morning, but there were still some clouds in the sky. I looked through the window to check if the store across the street was already open. And it was. So not to waste any time, I put on some clothes, grabbed Simon's scarf, beanie and left a note.
The moment I stepped outside I felt a cold breeze collide with my face. I wrapped his scarf tighter around my face, trying to protect myself from the biting wind. It was quite weird to know that Simon lived in a town quite close to my childhood home. Who would have guessed that one day we would end up being together?
I recalled some memories of me and some old friends being in this town. I wondered what had happened to all of them. Were they even alive? Perhaps they all had families and were living their best days. Even if they were still there, I wouldn't have wanted to meet them.
They wouldn't see Y/N standing in front of them. They would face a killer. A cold-hearted killer.
I had no one here, that's why I appreciated Simon so much.
And so with those old memories replaying in my head, I entered the store. Even though this place was so close to Simon's apartment, just a few seconds of being outside made my whole body shiver. My nose was red, and I felt the chill seeping through my gloves. The grocery store wasn't as crowded as I expected it to be, but still there were some faces I had never seen. All of them were staring at me, probably because of that scar I had on my face.
I scanned the shelves, looking for something that me and Simon would enjoy eating. And so without thinking much, I grabbed some food and drinks. In fact, I knew I would need to rely on Simon since I was a terrible cook. And just to feel the spirit of Christmas, I bought a pack of cookie dough.
I eventually paid for groceries and got outside. The snow fell softly from the sky giving me a sense of peace. And since it was still early in the morning, I thought Simon would still be sleeping so I went for a refreshing walk.
The snow crunched beneath my boots as I walked, and I felt snowflakes stuck to my lashes. I pulled my beanie down low over my ears, breathing in the crisp, cold air. Without even noticing I went to the same park, now crowded with people. It felt weird seeing kids running around. I knew I would never experience that kind of joy again. I would never experience having a family. Deep in my heart I knew a woman like me didn't deserve to have a child. I was sure because of our past, me and Simon would be terrible parents.
I tilted my face up to the sky, and let snowflakes touch my skin. Even though life was starting to get better, I felt like something was missing. But I didn't know what exactly it was. I had everything I needed, yet I still felt a void in my soul. And it wasn't because of my childhood or my brother's death. Maybe it was innocence and kindness that I had lost, maybe because with each second I was dying.
And wondering like this, I spent more than an hour outside. My fingers felt like blocks of ice, numb and painful. I knew it was time for me to go back home. And the moment I was about to unlock the door, I realised my mistake of not returning straight home immediately after I left the grocery store. On the note I said I would be back in a few minutes, yet I spent more time than that being away from Simon. And if he was awake, oh boy, I knew he wouldn't be happy.
So just like a teenager sneaking back home from a party, I tried not to make any noise. But the moment I opened the door, got inside and turned around to close it, Simon appeared out of nowhere. He pinned me against the door, his body pressing into mine as he leaned in close and whispered in my ear.
"Where were you?"
"Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?"
"What?" He was so confused.
"Nevermind" I tried so hard not to laugh.
"Stop playing with me"
"What do you mean?" I immediately felt him press me even more, his hot breath against my face.
"Do I have to repeat myself?" I could easily sense frustration in his voice.
"Simon, did you read the note?" I still had some hope he woke up just a few minutes ago, not an hour ago.
"Yes I did"
"So what's the problem here, love?"
"I have been awake for more than an hour, love"
"Oh" was all I managed to say. Though him pinning me against the door seemed hot and I kind of enjoyed it.
He then let me go, grabbed my arm and spun me around. I knew I was in big trouble.
"Do you even realise what I have to go through every time I wake up and you are nowhere to be found?" He genuinely sounded disappointed.
"I am sorry, this won't happen again. I went for a walk, that's all" Hurting him was something I never wished to do. "But at least I bought some cookie dough..." I tried to smile.
"You bought cookie dough?" There was a guarantee he had never baked cookies before.
"Are you excited?" I really hoped he would forgive me.
"No"
"Oh come on, Simon, it's gonna be fun" I gave him the puppy eyes.
"I am not doing that, love" Deep down, he couldn't wait for us to spend time doing something fun but of course he wanted me to beg for it.
"But it would make me very happy"
He didn't say anything but after tracing his facial features I noticed him smiling.
At that very moment I wanted him to know that I loved him, but I didn't have the guts to do so.
YOU ARE READING
Your Addiction, Simon Ghost Riley x Reader
FanficA killer. That is who you truly are. Unable to love and run away from your past and future. But the moment you meet Ghost you start to change. And you can't stand that feeling. They call you Heroin. People admire you. They want to own you. But not...