Everything Has Changed //Ryan Blaney//

4.7 - Phone Call

Sienna

It absolutely broke my heart to see Ryan beating himself up like he was. The next day after the incident he had his face glued to his phone, waiting to see if there was any word on his friend's condition. Being inside the racing community, it was easier to hear things from others than it was to watch social media for a snippet of something. Except for this time. Everything and everybody was silent about how he was doing.

When there was word from the Roush Fenway later in the afternoon that Newman was awake and alert, I could feel the pressure come off of Ryan's shoulders. He was still desperate to say how sorry he was but he would wait until things calmed down to reach out.

"Would you like to ride with me to pick up El?" I grabbed my phone and bag as I waited for the truck to warm up in the driveway. 

"Sure. We'll pick up some food on the way back. I was thinking of pizza to make it easy on us both." Ryan made sure he had his phone in his pocket after placing the order for pizza in case he had a call while we were out. His face looked like he was spacing, a hard expression on his usually soft features. I touched his cheek, trying to get him to loosen up. No one hated him, it was a racing accident. I could still see that he was beating himself up about it, offering to drive since he wasn't in the best headspace for it. He helped me into the driver's seat, before getting into the passenger's side. I let him connect his phone to the Bluetooth and waited as he put on his country playlist.

Singing along to the Keith Whitley song, I listened to both Ryan and the song as he talked about the meeting he had this morning. Opening himself up a little bit. It had gone without much talking, everyone seemingly walking on eggshells around him. He tried to act like it wasn't hurting him but everyone could tell that he was affected by it more than he was letting on. I couldn't help but reach my hand over for a second to rub his fingers. Giving him a little bit of comfort.

When the final notes of Miami, My Amy shifted into With You I Am by Cody Johnson, it was his turn to sing along, a small smile forming. At least his mind was getting away from where it had been. 

"I'll go get her."." I told him when we pulled into the school parking lot. He shook his head, "No baby, I'll get her. You just keep that cute butt right where it is." He tried to joke with me, to find some normalcy in the situation.

Could there be anything normal after the fear that he felt that night? I'm sure if he was to hear from Newman and talked things out then he could finally relax some. 

While Ryan was gone, I grabbed his phone intent on changing the song that had come on as I wasn't sure on who it was. Or at least that's what I was wanting to do, but the ringtone coming through the speakers, and an unknown number flashing on the screen caused me to jump. 

Taking it off Bluetooth, I answered it. The voice who answered shocked me. Of course, the call would come in after Ryan got out of the truck.

"Hey, Sienna. It's Ryan Newman. Is your husband around?" His voice sounded thick, whether it be from emotion or being awake for a little bit, I wasn't sure.

"He just went in to grab our daughter from school. It shouldn't take him too long to get back." I told him, looking to see if he was coming out of the front doors yet.

"Good, that gives me a chance to talk with you. I know you'll be honest with me. How has he been? I saw his interview after the race. He took that hard." I hated the question because I didn't want to out Ryan, but we all know by that interview alone he wasn't fine.

"He took it really hard. I can't even explain to you how it's affected him mentally. I know he's been waiting to talk to you." My mind floated back to the images from last night. He had been so sluggish when going to bed. Almost like he was stuck in his own mind. "I know he was just trying to line up with me." I had heard that reasoning about a million times last night when Ryan finally opened up. Nothing I had said to him seemed to make a dent in his feelings.

No matter what, he was the only person that could talk some sense into my husband at the moment. When the time came, and Ryan and Eleanor got back to the truck, I handed him the phone. He had looked at it confused, taking it reluctantly. When he heard the voice on the other end, he took a sharp breath.

Ryan

I had felt a lot better after talking to Ryan and then seeing him walking out of the hospital with his girls just the next day had made it more tolerable to be around the people giving me the pitiful looks at the track the next weekend in Las Vegas. The interviews had come by the hour, wanting to hear my account and what I was feeling like now. I tried to avoid the ones I could because I didn't want to relive the experience again.

No one understood that it was still a pretty shitty thing for all of us involved. People were even complaining and saying some awful things about Corey, who had inadvertently hit Newman's car while in the air.

We all we just in an unfortunate circumstance and the only ones that knew how affected by it we were, are the ones that are around us closely. Sienna had been a godsend in staying by my side this week and trying to make me feel a little better about it. 

Nascar had played the video of the wreck every week after that. It messed with me for a while, resulting in some not-so-great finishes at the next few tracks and barely gaining anything in points. The DNF we acquired at Phoenix didn't help either.

With each week that passed, it wasn't just time where I was finding the love of racing that was cracked after that wreck, it was also bringing time closer to meeting the twins. Outside of interviews about the incident, everyone was wanting to know a little bit about the pregnancy.

We still were keeping the gender a secret from everyone other than close friends and family and even kept the due date a bit of a secret. We were currently keeping Austin Cindric on his toes when he would be a relief driver. We were waiting until about May to start keeping him over on Sundays just in case.

During our last appointment, we were told that the babies were doing great but we most likely wouldn't go to full term with them. Sienna had been prepared for that news, knowing that things were getting pretty cramped in there. I, however, was not. There was still a good deal that we needed to get set up and ready for.

"I'm going to get started on the nursery," I told Sienna after coming home from the shop Wednesday. She was taking a load of laundry out of the washer when I came in, switching them to the dryer. 

"I grabbed the paint from the garage, but I couldn't lift the crib boxes." 

As much as I wanted to scold her for even lifting the paint cans, I knew she would most likely get upset at it. She was still wanting to do things that were out of the realm of possibility for her at the size she was.

"You don't need to lift anything over twenty pounds. You have to listen to what Dr. McKay said." That fact I could not ignore. Paint cans weren't so heavy, falling just short of ten pounds but with the history she had with Jace, we tried taking extra precautions.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I had some help earlier then." She smirked a bit, getting ready to say something but was beaten out by a voice from my little sister behind me.

"Yeah, don't you be getting onto my sister-in-law."

Word Count - 1416