BEAST AND HAWK'S FALLEN ANGELS- SONS OF SILENCE MC (Book 5)

Making Amends

BEAST POV

   I fucked up so badly. I didn’t realize how badly until Dagda beat on the door and woke me up. I was scared when I saw Poppy’s bed empty but not nearly as much as I was, when I saw Dagda’s face. Not much scares me but he definitely did, in that moment. “You fucked up, son. You made that sweet girl cry. I don’t know what your problem is or why you are running like a pussy but you have two choices. Fix it or leave her alone. You will not play with her anymore. She saved you from me this time. Next time, I will kick your ass.” Dagda states deathly calm. I know he means it too. He glares at me while I nod. I am not sure whether to fix it or just leave her alone. I want to fix it but maybe she would be better off if I left her alone.

     I look around for her and see the hurt on her face as she hands out food and coffee. I notice she doesn’t keep any and just gets in the van. She curls up and goes to sleep or pretends to sleep. It breaks my heart to see that. It hurts so bad that my eyes tear up and I rub my chest. Dagda’s features soften when he sees my reaction. He pats my shoulder and turns leaving me alone.

    “Donuts or sandwich with your coffee?” Timberleigh asks startling me. I take a sandwich and coffee. I give her a nod and tell her thanks.

     Ice walks up and asks, “What’s wrong?” I want to blame him and be pissed at him, but it is all me. “I told you I thought Poppy heard us last night. She did. I made her cry. Then you and your damn suggestion of drinking some to get the courage to be around her. Well, I got so drunk I didn’t hear her leave this morning. Anything could have happened to her and I wouldn’t have known. I didn’t hear shit, not until Dagda beat on my door and told me off. I fucked up. Not a little fuck up, a major fuck up. I could have gotten her taken or killed because I was drunk.” I growl out. “Damn, brother, I am sorry. I didn’t know you got that drunk. It could have been worse. You could have brought that woman from the bar back with you. I at least talked you out of that.” Ice responds. I just growl at him.

    I eat my sandwich on the way to the van. I am ready when they say it’s time to go. I stay as quiet as I can letting Poppy sleep. I feel like shit and a complete ass. I know with what I did and how I behaved, I am a complete ass. I should leave her alone. I just know it would kill me to do so and maybe her too. I will have to find a way to make it up to her. I am just not sure how.

   I finally settle on just waiting till we get to the clubhouse to apologize. The only problem is when we pull into the clubhouse Poppy wakes up and jumps out as soon as we park. I guess this is going to be harder than I thought. I am going to have to swallow my pride and grovel. That’s what happens when you’re an asshole to someone. I need to fix this before Alejandro shows up. I don’t want to be thinking about it when I should be focusing.

    I ride the elevator to the main room. I look everywhere but I don’t see Poppy anywhere. I see Willow with Hawk and Ice with Timberleigh. No Poppy though. I spot Ivy and walk over to her. “What room is Poppy in?” I ask. She gives me a weird look. “I fucked up last night and want to apologize. Please, Ivy. What room?” I practically beg. She finally tells me.

   I make my plan on the way to her room. She said she likes my voice so I will sing her a song. Please forgive me by Bryan Adams, modified to fit our situation. I get to her door and I knock. “Just a second.” She replies. I close my eyes and start singing:

It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first touch
It's getting better baby
No one can better this
Still holding on
You're still the one
First time our eyes met
Same feeling I get
Only feels much stronger
I want to hold your hand longer
Do you still turn the radio on?

So if you're feeling lonely, don't
You're the only one I'll ever want to talk to
I only want to make it good
So if I hurt you, I am scared more than I should be

Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I am sorry for hurting you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, for being an ass to you
Please, believe me, every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can't stop thinking of you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
We're still getting closer baby
Can't get closer enough
Still holding on
You're still the only one
I remember the smile on your face
I remember everything
I remember all your favorite movies
I remember you yeah
I remember the talks, you know I still do

So if you're feeling lonely, don't
You're the only one I'll ever want to talk to
I only want to make it good
So if I hurt you, I am just scared more than I should be

Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I am sorry for hurting you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, for being an ass to you
Please, believe me, every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can't stop thinking of you

The one thing I'm sure of
Is the way you make me feel
The one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm praying
That's why I'm saying,

Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I am sorry for hurting you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, for being an ass to you

Babe believe it, every word I say is true
Please forgive me, if I can't stop thinking of you
No, believe me, I don't know what I do
Please forgive me, I can't stop feeling the way I do
I can't stop, thinking of you

   When I finish and open my eyes, Poppy has the door open and is standing there crying. “I forgive you. I don’t think anyone has ever done something so sweet for me before,” she says and hugs me. Then she presses her lips to mine in a chastened kiss. “Come in and let me wash my face. Then we can go downstairs together,” she urges smiling. I follow her in and close the door behind me. She rushes into her restroom and washes her face.

     When she returns, she holds her hand out to me. I grab her hand, she interlaces our fingers and leads me out. That’s how we walk into the main room, Willow sees us and cocks her brow. Poppy smiles at her and Willow returns the smile. We sit down across from each other. "I promise when things settle down, I will explain some things about me to you," I state sincerely. She smiles and nods. "I will do the same for you," she promises. We make small talk until dinner.