Aya's POV
Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
"Not yet sleepy, Ayalabells?" I looked at the open door in my terrace and saw Lexie standing there. I paused the song and smiled weakly.
"Yes. Still thinking of what happened. It always comes back, Lexie. Nung nakita ko yung mga luha niya habang naglalakad ako papuntang altar. It sturck me so much. Nasaktan ako kasi hindi ko kayang makita ang mukha niya na umiiyak sa sobrang tuwa."
After I walked out on Reil, I went home and spent the day just crying in my room. Dad suggested that I need to be in Batanes to think. Kaya ayun, I decided na pumunta. Sumama sa akin si Lexie, Francis, JK at Gina.
"Alam ko na mahirap para sa'yo ang gawin ito, right? The pain slowly kills you inside. Without Reil, you're a complete wreck." She's right. Ano nga ba ako kung wala si Reil? Siya lang naman ang lakas ko eh.
"It's not that I don't want to have a future with Reil. Lexie, alam mo iyon diba? You've been with me since the seventh grade at alam mo kung gaano ko kagustong makasama si Reil in the future. Matagal ko nang pinapantasya ang makasama siya habang buhay. Gustong-gusto. But, I still had my doubts. When I finally met Sianne, at first I thought it would be great having a conversation with his ex-girlfriend. Pero, hindi eh. It just made me walk out on Reil." I started crying and Lexie hugged me.
"Aya, I know that you've gone through so much pain. Pero, hindi ba torture na ang ginagawa mo ngayon? Aya, one week na tayo dito sa Batanes. And for that one week, palagi nalang kitang nakikita na hindi maka-tulog tuwing gabi!" I sighed.
"Kung hindi naman kasi ako umalis eh 'di sana hindi namin nararamdman ngayon. Sana hindi siya naglalasing at hindi niya rin sana sinisisi ang sarili niya kung bakit ko siya iniwan! Lexie, hindi ko alam kung gusto niya akong kausapin. Baka ipagtabuyan niya ako palayo." Lexie hugged me as I sobbed.
"Aya, Aya, ssshhh. Tahan na. Tahan na. Everything is going to be fine. Wala kang kasalanan, okay? Ginawa mo lang ang tingin mong nararapat na gawin. Hindi mo alam na ganito pala ang kalalabasan nito. Aya, stop doing this to yourself. Stop blaming yourself."
*KKRRIINNGG!! KKKRRRIIINNNGGG!!!*
"Panira moment naman ang loko." Lexie picked up her phone.
"Hello?.......... Darwin?........ Sorry, sorry. Reil, napatawag ka. Anong meron?....... Si Aya? Okay lang naman siya. Ikaw, okay ka lang?........... Hayaan mo na, Reil. Magiging okay ka din. ............. You hope so? ......... Ewan sayo, Reil. Babye na. Anong oras na o? Kelangan ko pa ng beauty sleep. ............ Loko ka. .......... Beauty sleep? Ano ka? Ika---- hahaha. ......... Ahhh?? Hahaha. Wala iyon. Nagbibiro lang ako. Alam mo naman ako. Ahahahaha. ............ Mas baliw ka. Sige na. Babye na. Magalit pa sa akin si Francis. ............... Oo naman, ako pa. Bye!" She ended the call and she peace signed to me.
"Ikaw talaga, Lexie. Ireremind mo pa yung ikakasal sa kanya." She smiled and laughed.
"Pasensya. Nakalimutan ko na may pa--- Hay, Aya. Mauna na ako. Matulog ka na. Alas-tres na ng umaga. Bye. Good mornight na." She hugged me once more and left me.
>>> Flashback <<<
"Dad, nung pinakasalan niyo po ba si mom nagkaroon kayo ng doubts?" I asked out of the blue.
"Alam mo kasi, anak. Kung mahal mo talaga yung tao at sure ka na mahal ka niya, just go with it. Harapin mo siya and live happily ever after. Pero kung may doubts ka at hindi ka pa ready, it's your choice. Bakit, anak? Are you having doubts ba?"
"O-opo, dad. Napanaginipan ko po kasi yung sinabi sa akin ni Sianne noon. It all felt so real. Like it wasn't only just a dream. Yes dad sinabi sa akin ni Reil na hindi totoo yun but I just can't make myself believe it. Dad, Sianne's his ex-girlfriend kaya yun po ang kinakabagabag ng isip ko."
"Kasi, anak.... Hindi naman ako pwedeng mag-sabi na wag mong ituloy kung may doubts ka at hindi ko rin pwedeng sabihin na ituloy mo. Ikaw, anak. Ikaw ang may hawak ng desisyon. Anak, tandaan mo. The decision is in your hands. It's either you will walk down the aisle or no. Ikaw, anak. Pero kapag nagawa mo na yung desisyon mo, there's no turning back. No regrets."
"Y-yes, dad. I know."
---------------------
"A-anak? Okay ka lang ba? What happened?" Mom knocked on my door. After the walk out scene, I locked myself in my room and cried.
What was I thinking? I left him there. I left the only guy I loved and ran away before our wedding. I love him but.... Why?
I walked up to my door and slowly unlocked it. When I finally opened the door, I eagerly hugged mom and sobbed.
"M-mom, I-I'm sorry. *sniffs* I d-didn't-----" She ran her hand through my hair and it made me to calm down.
"Aya, Aya, listen to me, sweetie. Listen to me. Okay? Calm down. Calm down. I know you were confused. Your dad told me you had your doubts."
"M-mom? H-how w-was h-he?" She kissed my forehead.
"He's fine, sweetie. He's fine. But he cried. I saw him cry and he hugged me. He even told me that he wasn't good enough and I told him that he shouldn't be so hard to himself."
"H-he said that?" She nodded.
"M-mom I'm really sorry."
"A-anak, kailangan mo munang magpahinga and you need to unwind. You need to rest in Batanes." I nodded.
Maybe I need some time to rest and think.
>>> End of Flashback <<<
Reil, kung alam mo lang kung gaano na ako nahihirapan sa situasyon natin. Hirap na hirap ako. Sobra. Mahal kita alam mo iyan. Sana mapatawad mo pa ako. Hindi mo alam kung gaano ko kagustong makasama ka habang buhay.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Last Moment of Us
ChickLit"And when I held your hand, I swear, I felt like you were the one for me. Like we were meant to be, destined to meet each other and fall in love together. I love you, Aya." His words that made me feel so loved and protected. I couldn't ask for more.
