Random BMC + DEH stuff (+ Oneshots)

Bad explaination of the plot of DEH

So, our titular character Evan Hansen is writing a letter to himself full of lies that today is going to be good. His mum comes in to tell him to do the letter for his next therapy session, and to tell him he should ask the other kids to sign his cast at school. While singing. Cause… musical.

We cut to a completely functional and non-toxic family, telling their son, Connor, not to miss the first day of school.
"He's probably high"
"He's definitely high"
"Fuck you"
"Fuck you"
Mum says she doesn't want Connor going to school high. He says he won't go then. (Seriously, how did you not see this coming?) Anyway, she starts singing too. Cause… musical.

Evan meets Alana. She talks about how her grandma died after breaking her hip. Also she did 3 internships and 90 hours of community service.

ENTER JARED KLEINMAN! 👏👏👏 With the great first line:
"Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much or do you consider that an honour?"
WE STAN

Evan tells Jared he was climbing a tree and he fell. Which prompts one of my favourite quotes ever:
"You fell out of a tree? What are you, like, an
acorn?"
Evan tells Jared about how much he loves trees. ???

Jared starts bragging in the most insecure way you've ever seen, as I said, we stan. And then puts Evan in his place by reminding him that they are not friends, rather, family friends. (Or in Jared's case, someone with the biggest crush on a "family friend" you've ever seen, seriously, it is painfully obvious how much Jared is in love with Evan)

Also "Hey, Connor. I'm loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic."

Connor then proceeds to push the kid with a broken arm (Evan) over cause… arsehole. Enter like the third best song in the musical. (Waving Through a Window)

Connor's sister, Zoe (who Evan has a massive crush on, Rip Jared) comes to check if Evan's okay. Evan proceeds to completely screw it up. Now, probably my favourite quote that isn't from Jared:
"I've seen you play guitar in jazz band. I love jazz band. I love jazz. Well, not all of jazz. But definitely, like, jazz band jazz. That's so weird, I'm sorry!"

Evan prints out his letter in the Computer Lab. Big. Mistake. He writes another letter that involves stuff about Zoe. MASSIVE. MISTAKE. Connor interrupts Evan singing to ask how he broke his arm, bringing about my favourite Connor quote:
"You fell… out of a tree… Well that is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard, oh my god"
Connor tells Evan that he will sign his cast. Getting us the iconic white arm cast with CONNOR scrawled across it in big letters. He says it's so they can pretend they both have friends.

But it doesn't end wholesomely. Connor has Evan's letter. He flips out after reading the creepy shit Evan wrote about his sister. Connor takes the letter. Oh no.

Evan then does the only reasonable thing he can think of and tells his boyfre- I mean Jared, about the letter. So, you guessed it, more great Jared quotes.
"A letter to yourself? What the crap does that even mean? It's, like, some kind of sex thing?"

"That does not bode well for you."

"He's gonna ruin your life with it. For sure. I mean, I would."

Evan is called to the Principal's office where he finds Connor's parents. They hand him his letter back and tell him that Connor wanted him to have it. Evan is confused. Mr and Mrs Murphy tell Evan that Connor committed suicide. Sheesh, that got dark quickly. I mean, it is a musical, so….

Evan tries to explain that Connor didn't write the letter, to which Connor's mother screams and shouts at him. Yes, this grown woman shouts at a 17 year old with social anxiety. Sounds like an average day in retail. Connor's parents notice the cast.