How to get a Valentine:

14 1 1
                                    

. Buy them a rose

. Compliment them on their clothes

. Say you appreciate that they're smart

. Tell them that they excite you sexually

. Shout "MAKE LOVE TO ME, RICKY" at them

. Make fun of them and call them an acorn

. Tell them the place and time of their death

. Get a rat to play the bass for them

. Call them "Monkey love drop"

. Sing a whole GODDAMN love song and then be like "OoPSie, sORry, nOt YOu uWu" (like seriously, Christine? I love you but wtf)

. Sing what could sort of be read as a love song, but… oh yeah there's a dead guy here too (Am I talking about Sincerely Me or If I Could Tell Her? You'll never know)

. DO NOT try to kiss them on their dead brother's bed

. DO NOT leave them alone at a party and call them a loser (*cough cough* Jeremy *cough cough*)

. DO NOT name a carnivorous and (possibly) alien venus flytrap after them (Looking at you Seymour)

Random BMC + DEH stuff (+ Oneshots)Where stories live. Discover now