Alana: Jared. I said to make UP with Evan
Jared: I did!
Alana: No. You made OUT with him
Jared: They're very similar things, right?
Evan: You're in denial
Jared: No. I've never even been to Egypt.
Connor: *Ba dum tss*
Jared: *Finger guns*
Alana: So, what was your approach to this relationship?
Evan: Take it slowly, see if we click, the worst thing that can happen is we go back to being family friends.
Jared: Kissing may not solve our problems but it sure won't make them any worse!
Jared: Yeah, Hansen, under my dead body.
Alana: Actually the expression is 'OVER my dead body'
Jared: I know, but Evan's a bottom
Jared: Exactly. It's like Hava.
Evan: Hava?
Jared: Hava nice day lmao gottem
Priest: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Evan: I do.
Priest: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Jared: I do. But only for the car insurance, obviously.
Jared: Oh, Evan, I love you, I want to-
Evan: Can you stop making fun of me?
Jared: …
Jared: Yep. I was definitely making fun of you, that's it.
Alana: Let's tell each other who our crushes are!
Evan: My girlfriend?
Alana: Also Evan's girlfriend
Jared: Zoe's boyfriend
Evan: wtf
Jared: Hey, treeboy, I've got a branch I'd love to stick in you.
Evan: Connor, I think he threatened to stab me.
Jared: I'm a virgin.
Evan: N-no you're not
Alana: Evan, how do you know?
Jared: Well, I took Evan's virginity so it's mine now.
Jared: Ahh, Evan Hansen, my first love…
Evan: What about-
Jared: CONNOR DOES NOT COUNT.
Jared: There's nothing unrealistic about the love one man feels for another!
Jared: I should tell you that I think of you each night, I rub my nipples and start moaning with delight!
Jared: Look at you, helping the Murphys.
Evan: Guess he hates me…
Jared: omfg take the fucking hint
Jared: I've got skills, son!
Evan: ok daddy ~
YOU ARE READING
Random BMC + DEH stuff (+ Oneshots)
Fanfiction[WARNING - CRINGE] This is mainly random stuff (+ oneshots) I've written down in the notes app on my phone, and it's basically just memes + stuff. There are some shipping things in he(e)re, so I'd just like to preface this by saying that my ships a...
