is this real? Milly and Matt #HouseoftheDragon

when it's just us (milly's pov)

I received matt's text after I woke up from my nap at around 3pm because I had night shots on the tv show upright season two I'm currently filming back home in Australia.

I don't know exactly where Matt is but he's somewhere in Latin America from what I've heard online and then I just had to stop reading or listening everything online, it was starting to make more nuts than I already I am especially because I miss him so much it's becoming not healthy. He made it pretty clear he was coming here since our schedules were making it hard for us to make plans to talk in person, but a part of me didn't know if Matt would be able to make it or if he's just messing with me for whatever reason. Also, it's almost holiday time and he's a family guy and now more than ever since his dad passed away during filming the first season of the show where we ended up meeting and worked together. That was a huge part of us getting to know each other as friends during filming but it was almost time for me to be over with filming and Matt had 3 more months of filming so we decided to kept in touch but we didn't see in person once during that time until the production did a wrap party for season 1 and when we met, there were too many people and we barely had time to talk. We had breakfast the next day, but we barely talked since there were also pappz taking pictures of us and wasn't a private place to talk about that. We did have a moment briefly in my flat a few days later and we both knew we've been feeling stuff for each other, but it was never the correct time to develop those feelings and we were off to do our own stuff confused if we were meant to be or just stay friends.

He went back filming a movie, I started modeling and travelling for that and then I came back to Australia to do this project and that's how has been going for us.

In between all that we did press for house of the dragon and we got a few interviews together but not many as we wanted or were expecting to get but there wasn't anything we could do, so we met in secret at the hotel a few times and were hiding from cast members staying at the same place as us and then it was cast dinners where we stayed away from each other to not have crazy eyes on us. And that was the beginning of us never being together properly to ever have that talk and decide our next move.

I know whatever we have is special but it's getting harder and harder to figure this out and I don't how much longer we can keep this up before this turns ugly and don't think we can ever go back and start over or it's time for us to stop here and savor the moments we actually got together and something I realized not too long ago: I don't ever wanna ruin my friendship with him if this doesn't work out; he's too special to me. That's why when I read his text, I knew we have to talk or else this might never go somewhere beautiful and life changing, and it might better to break this off now than later when there's not return for both of us and our hearts. I read his text like 10 more times before I decided to text him back:

Matthew Robert Smith: you're nuts but I like you lots and I miss you too much to send you back to wherever you're or back home, idk...so please come to me, so we can make this right and figure this all out because one thing is for sure: I do not wanna lose you; ever...your friendship means more to me than anything else; even my own heart right now if this is all from you I'll get at the end... then that is enough for me...but please do come here so I can hug you, kiss you and stop with this crap and figure this shit together once and for all... and Matthew, are you nuts? don't you dare to book a hotel anywhere, you're staying with me. I'll be filming tomorrow until 11 pm and then I go home; so, if you arrive before then, I'll leave a copy of the keys inside the mailbox outside my apartment. Just let me know when you'd be arriving... Ps: don't alarm yourself with the lack of food in the fridge and don't you dare to say something to me about that or I'll kick your ass. On the table I have menus from some places to eat, so make yourself comfortable and order some food and just make yourself at home... I cannot wait to see you :) xo, Amelia.

Then, I press send and moved on with my day. Since I filmed last night until very late, I have the rest of the off; so I took a bath, I clean the apartment and order myself dinner while I watch a movie and try not to look at my phone to see if he wrote me back or not, is a long trip so I'm gonna go crazy if I allow myself to think about him any longer. So, I'm keeping my mind busy and then two hours have passed, and my phone rang, and my heart jumped and when I saw it wasn't Matthew, it was my mum...

"Hey mum, how are you?" – I said – "Hi baby, I'm good and you, how you've been?" – she said with a different tone than usual and took off guard,

"I'm good too. I had a late shoot, so I just woke up from a nap and right now I'm waiting for my dinner to arrive" – I told her back.

"well that's good but please take care of yourself Milly" – there she goes again – "ok mum, I will" – I said not wanting to say more but she knows me too well.

"anyways, I was calling you to ask at what time you finish work tomorrow, if you can come home to have dinner with me and your brothers, they said yes already but you're the busy one, so can you make it?" – she asked – "uhm, I can't actually. I already have plans tomorrow night after work and I don't know exactly at what time because that depends on how late we finish filming" – I said without telling anything more just in case he ends up not showing up but my mum just won't let it go.

"and what plans do you have exactly?" – "with people from work mum, we made plans yesterday" - actually two hours ago but you won't know any of that right now

"and I didn't know you were gonna call or otherwise I'd have said yes to you...sorry mum" – "Aja, okay, got ya. Next time I'll call sooner. I just miss you and since your brothers were only available tomorrow at the same time, thought to give you a call...but whenever you're free and not filming please come, ok?" – she asked with worry in her voice, and I hated to let her down and keeping anything from her, but this time had to.

"sorry mum. I'll let you know next time when I have time and I'm not filming or working on something else. We're almost done though, and you'll have me until January before I go back to London." – I said - I'm so sure she doesn't buy any of this and wants me to tell something so, it's okay if we make plans for then.

"as of now yes mum, I have no clue if something's gonna change at least for Christmas weekend until New Year's Eve. Then in January depends on the award season if the show gets invited, we haven't Heard anything yet, it's all up in the air yet "– I said – "ok, I'll plan something and then you can confirm at least for those holidays, ok honey? I'll now leave you to rest...I love you Milly" – "I love you too mum, talk to you soon."

I felt off after that talk to my mum. I think she has something else planned for tomorrow other than dinner with my brothers: One reason is because my brothers live at home, so she must be up to something and that's why she tried real hard to get me to say yes, but what I wanted to tell her but couldn't was to tell her, I'll be having Matt coming and don't know what time and if he doesn't end up coming, and to be honest;, I'd probably have said no, because I'm just too tired to see other people and my mum knows me too well and she'd read me right away and know something is up and then I'd have to confess everything and it's not something I'm gonna do at this moment. By the end of the night, I was so tired, that I prepared myself for tomorrow: put my clothing for the next day and put in a bag I'll bring to work, so that way I can get ready there to come home just in case I arrive and find him at my place. I'm not gonna overdo it, but I still wanna look nice for him. It's been months since we've seen each other in person but also, I don't wanna attract people's eyes on me if I show on set to go home on a crazy outfit because I don't wanna say anything less about my personal life and more if that special person in my life is called Matthew Robert Smith...

Also: I'm scared shitless right now...

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next episode will be their reunion and i'm just letting this flow, don't know how long this will be or anything yet

please leave your comments and thank you :)