I am going insane without speaking to Ashley.
I understand why she wants space, I get it but fuck, all I want to do is be around her. That's all I've ever wanted. Ashley locks herself in her bedroom and barely leaves. I finally managed to convince Blake to go speak to her. To ask if she would spare me five minutes to explain myself, to express how I truly feel. God, I am so captivated by this women that I need to tell her that.
Over the last three weeks, my feelings haven't changed. My heart beats for her, it always has been. Ever since I found out she existed, she was all I ever wanted and needed. I needed a reason to live and she gave that to me. Ashley was my lifeline, and I should have told her that.
"You've fucked it with her," Blake said over the phone, I watched the hallway, waiting for Ashley to appear. "I know that," I admitted to him, something I've never done before. I know that I have fucked it with Ashley. Our relationship is the worst it's ever been. Even before, when I forced her to come to New York with me, she never looked at me with hatred, and now? That's all she ever does and I know that's of my own doing. I have never regretted the choices that I have made, even with how I went about it with Ashley— I don't regret that. What I do regret is not telling her sooner. That's what I would go back and change.
"You do realise she is too good for you?" Blake asked, I didn't appreciate his tone or question but he's right. Ashley is too good for someone like me, someone who breaths poison. "Yes," I muttered my defeat, I rubbed a hand over my jaw as I began to pace the living room. "If you weren't my brother or second in command, I would have told her to leave," Blake said, I gripped my phone tighter in my hand. "If I weren't selfish, I would have let her," I confessed, the truth is that I would have never let Ashley leave me. The thought of not having her in my life anymore, literally crushes what I have left of my poisoned heart.
"Set things right, you can't just apologise and expect her to have you back with open arms," Blake said, reminding me that I have to do something. I took a breath as my eyes glued in on the hallway to our bedrooms. "Right, I have to go," I muttered as I hung up. I debated whether or not it was the right time, but Ashley asked for space and I've given her three weeks. Surely, that's plenty enough of time.
I was outside of her room within seconds, knocking on her door in hopes of her answering but instead I got nothing. "Ashley," I called out as I knocked again, "I just want to talk, please," I pleaded to her, one thing I have never done before. After moments of silence Ashley spoke on the other side of the door. "I don't want to talk," I placed my forehead on the wood that separated us, "it'll take two minutes," I tried again, suddenly, the door flung up and I took a step back.
"What is it about, 'I don't want to talk,' that you clearly don't understand?" Ashley snapped, her eyes red and puffy as if she's been crying. I remained silence as she watched me with fury. "Well?" Ashley asked, "talk," I paused, my words struggling to make sense as I take in the beauty that is Ashley Wilson. "I'm sorry," I finally said, I watched as Ashley scoffed at my words. "You've said that before."
YOU ARE READING
The Sin Of Fate
RomanceBOOK ONE Ashley Wilson There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it. Marrying a stranger wasn't the best decision I...