GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 5 : 3 MONTHS

That day I tried my best to compose myself before I went home.

I was clutching the white envelope with the 10 million baht check wanting to throw it away but knowing that I can't

If saw knew I took money from her grandma what would she think of me?

Would she think I left her because I chose money over her?

Would she even understand?

How am I even able to explain when I can't even tell her?

What am I going to do?

I let all my tears fall and I cried while hugging myself. Screaming painfully like I was dying

I didn't care that I was still at the same place she left me.

I couldn't care about all the people staring and the gossip they are creating looking at a crazy woman howling at a high-end restaurant.

After a while I stopped crying and I stopped moving. I was left their motionless.

The manager of the restaurant came to me multiple times but it was no use.

I can't hear anything. I can't feel anything.

Ughhhh so this is what dying feels like.

I stayed there motionless until it was time to close and even then when I stood up and started walking, I was still a mess.

I didn't know where to go.

My feet were moving but I don't know where it will lead me.

It would be a miracle to go home in one piece.

I was sure I would get run over by a bus somewhere and I think that would even be for the best.

I'm so tired of fighting. What's the use when we only ever turn up losing.

It was around midnight when I came home. A real miracle that I got here.

I walked over 10 miles but I couldn't even feel the pain in my feet.

Even with my best efforts to look decent wasn't ever going to work.

My eyes were hollow, my spirit was empty.

Even when I tried to smile it did nothing to hide my devastation.

I'm afraid of Sam seeing me like this so I decided to turn around and leave telling myself it's for the better.

I wasn't able to take a single step coz I felt someone hugging me from behind.

Sam was shivering. She was crying. I didn't even look at her but I knew how worried she was about me.

It made me feel guilty. I forgot to call her to make up an excuse for coming home late and since I was out of my head the entire time,

Now I'm too scared to see the endless barrage of missed calls I am sure to find when I do.

We didn't talk. We just stayed like that for God knows how long.

I was getting tired, my body finally cave in.

I pushed myself to the limit today but physically and mentally and when I felt Sam's hug, I felt myself let go.

Just like that I fainted.

I distinctly heard Sam's scream before I totally lost control but I couldn't make myself strong enough to comfort her.

The next thing I knew, I was already sleeping at hospital bed.

Sam was a mess. She was asleep but even that couldn't hide how harsh, the thought me falling sick was to her.

I can see dark circles on her eyes and her usual brilliant face was stained with tears.

She was holding on to my hand afraid of letting go and that made me smile.

What am I going to do with this girl?

But then remembering that I must let her go had left me in an even more sullen mood.

I have 3 months. 3 more months to be with Sam.

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