GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 28: COMPLICATIONS

Mon's lips are becoming blue now. Just where are they?
How much longer?
Mon can't take any more delays!

The CPR was not working and we were wasting too much time! we couldn't afford to see Mon dying like this so meeting with the rescue team was the best thing I can think of.
Tee told me he was instructed not to move the body to avoid risk of further injury. I heard it but I just can't afford to leave her like this!

S: let's go let's bring Mon to meet up with the ambulance! (I told them full of resolution. Nobody can change my mind! I refuse to let Mon die like this!)

We wrapped Mon tightly in layers of towels and jackets. We did all we could to keep her temperature from dropping any further, then we carefully brought Mon to Tee's car since it was the only car that could fit all of us.

Mon was laid down at the back seat with me and Kate. I was stroking Mon's hair kissing her forehead begging her to hang on! I'm trying to stop my tears but they kept betraying me. Mon's face was filled with my tears in no time

I don't know if it's good to act freely like this, I couldn't stop it regardless but I was thinking this should be good right? at least like this Mon would know how much i'm suffering.
Yet at the same time, I was thinking that it would be bad if Mon felt guilty because i'm suffering.

What really happened Mon?
I refuse to believe that u did this deliberately. U wouldn't leave me right?
Between the 2 of us, u were always the strong one! What were u going through that u had to resolve it like this? Why didn't you tell me? How could u have chosen to suffer alone?!
What was I even to u Mon?!
If it hurt u so much why didn't u tell me?!!

No I don't care if Mon becomes guilty! Be guilty Mon and stay with me! I will do whatever it takes to keep u alive even if that means guilt tripping u into surviving!

Just one time Mon, can u look at me please?
If u just give me even just a glance, u would know I'm dying too. I'm sure by then u wouldn't dare leave me!

About a couple minutes in and we saw them! Finally! We flashed our headlights and honked multiple times to catch their attention. Good thing they stopped! We can't afford anymore delays!
This was a good decision.
Meeting them like this saved a couple of minutes that Mon needed.

They were surprised when they saw us but immediately took action.

They took Mon in a stretcher and me and Kate joined them in the ambulance.
Tee & Jim were following close behind.

They asked a ton of questions like what happened, how long has it been since she drowned. How long has it been since Mon stopped breathing, the response time for the CPR. The length of the CPR. When did Mon stop responding to CPRs. When did her lips start turning blue and i didn't hear about the rest.
I was busy looking at Mon fighting for her life!

Too many questions I don't have the answers too! I don't know how much time had passed! How would I even know?
What's the point of all these questions! I am quickly getting annoyed! I wanted to snap at them but I forced myself to calm down. They're saving Mon, Sam! They're asking because it's needed but I really have no answers for them. Who can even think given what happened? I even forgot about doing CPR! God Sam! Just how much time did u waste?! I kept remembering things I shouldn't and felt myself getting more and more agitated, so I asked Kate for help. I'm hoping she can tell them something at least.

She told them all that she could but even then we were missing the basic timeline.

The EMT was shaking his head. I knew he needed to get those data but what else are u expecting of me? My world was dying and I was mortified!

Looking at Mon with all these tubes struggling to survive was not helping me think!

They were talking about terms like respiratory arrest, Cardiac Arrest, HIBI, hypothermia and my mind couldn't process it.

What is happening? Why is no one telling me?!

I was struggling to understand their words, forcing everything to make sense when all of a sudden I heard a beep and looked at the monitors.

Mon's heart has just stopped!
I felt like my entire world just came crashing down.
I felt so much pain that my heart went numb.
At that moment I couldn't explain what I felt.
Anger, fear, confusion, denial, emptiness
I don't know what to think & what to feel.

I was asking myself if this was it... Does Mon no longer want to fight? was Mon really too tired? Is she really saying goodbye?

I just stared at the monitor, listening to the sound of the endless beeping.
I kept on staring at the flat line begging for it to beat again

Kate was trying her best to comfort me but nothing will ever work, not until I see Mon awake again. How can I live without Mon's smile, or her voice saying good morning and goodnight. How can I carry on without her hugs and kisses or her words of affirmation? Mon u can't expect me to live through this right? U want me to die with u right?

When I finally came to...my hands were quickly searching for anything to grab. Anything to get ahold of.

I guess Kate knew and she tried everything to stop me!

K: Sam stop! Ur not helping!
Mon is not dead yet!
What the hell are u doing?!
Do u want to go ahead of Mon?!
How would she feel when she wakes up only to find u dead huh? How can u be so selfish?!

And just like that I broke down. I've never cried like this in my life. This is so painful! I'm losing my mind! My heart was aching so bad I wanted to get a knife and stab it! Why won't this stop?!

I was mumbling through the pain until I started shouting.

S: Why Mon? Why? have I taken you for granted? Have I pushed u to die?
Mon can u please give me another chance please? I promise to love u right this time!
I promise to love u the way u deserve! Please give me another chance! Please don't give up on me! Please Mon.

The team were doing all that they can, they were shouting to the driver to go faster. They were doing CPR and alternating it with a defibrillator.

I was hanging by my seat. I just wanna be beside Mon but I know I can't right now. Kate was telling me to just trust them! To just trust Mon! She will come back! She definitely will for sure!
U would right Mon?

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So I was caught up all day watching freen's pictures and her answers to taeyiixsrchafreen event and I was like Freen has gone through soooo much. She was so strong! I admire her a lot but how can the world give her so much pain?

And here I was writing this heartbreaking scene with Freen in mind!

Ugh i am seriously losing my marbles huhuhu so sad!

How was this chapter guys?

Did u cry?

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Your friendly psychotic writer,
Cha 😘