GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 19 : MOTIVATION

M: Sam how do you think I should tell my parents about me leaving?

(I've been worrying about this for a while now. My parents eased up a lot after getting used to me and Sam. I hardly ever go back to our old house but I always make it a point to spend time with them. Sam and I eat with them once a week and i know how happy they were when they saw me.

Staying with Sam all this time has already made me feel guilty but I tried to compensate with other things like dinners and gifts. It doesn't sound much but I did all that I could. I also called them often. As often as I could. That was my way of telling them I love them. I guess I still can talk to them daily when I'm away. Except for dinners nothing much has changed so they'd be okay with me leaving right? They'd be happy for me. I know they would. They'd miss me for sure but they won't stop me. They never did.

I was really close to my parents. Growing up they were all that I had. We had no money so I made it a point to not be a burden to them. I didn't have that many friends since all I did was study. I needed to keep my
scholarship or we wouldn't have afforded my tuition.
I selfishly chose Sam's school and it was expensive! Even the cost of books and projects were a struggle for us.

I'm really thankful that my parents loved and supported me throughout all my whims.

Accepting Sam wasn't easy either, my parents wanted me to have a simple life where I was happy, married and have kids and that seemed impossible with Sam. Especially since we can't even go public with our relationship
It was hard for them but they still supported us because they knew she was my happiness.

I was really lucky to be born from them. Stalling like this was unfair to them)

S: just tell them, they'd understand.
M: like you understood?
S: I never understood, I just had no choice but to accept it
M: Saaaaaaam, we had already gone through this right? I'll come back to you! I will always find my way back to you!
S: hm

(she still isn't convinced but I can't really blame her. sam actually took this pretty well! More than I could've hoped. She was insecure and needed constant soothing but she still chose to still be with me despite my selfishness, for that i'd forever be thankful.

I couldn't imagine if our situation was flipped.
How would I have taken it again? The reason why i'm doing this is because I can't afford to be left by her the second time.

Her choosing her grandmother once was a scar that would never heal in my heart.
It was the right thing to do
I can't ask her to choose me over her grandma that raised and loved her all this time.

But knowing that she would do it again if she was forced to make a decision was too painful to bear.

Sam didn't have a choice then, the same as me not having one now. The only difference is that she doesn't know I don't have a choice so it makes it even worse for her.

At least she left me for her grandma and I understood and supported her decision knowing it was the right thing to do but will she understand mine?

It felt like I was choosing my dreams over her and I would never do that to Sam. I just wish I could tell her)

Sam and I decided to call everyone over for dinner.
This was better at least I would just have to go over it once.

We decided on a small japanese restaurant near our house since it was more convenient.
We made sure to have someone fetch my parents and Nop because It was a long drive and my parents didn't even have a car.
Tee volunteered since he was on his way to pick up Yuki anyway

While waiting for everyone to arrive, i was thinking of my goals in life to motivate me.

My first goal was to buy my dad a car and then buy my parents a new house. I have been saving for the past 2 years it's enough for the down payment for the car but I don't want to burden them with the thoughts of me paying monthly dues while I'm alone overseas so i guess I have to delay.

Next goal, to come back as soon as possible and marry Sam!
That's the real motivation right there!

I looked at Sam beside me and hugged her arm. I then laid my head on her shoulder and asked for a kiss.

We didn't have to worry about prying eyes here because Sam booked the entire place for us.
I can be as clingy as I want 😋

There will come a time when both Sam and I can be truly free! I will make sure it does! I'll prove you wrong grandma! I will definitely marry Sam!

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How was chapter 19?

We delved more into the background of Mon a bit and her motivations in life

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