GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 32 : INDECISIONS

What are u doing Sam?
The doctor just said time was of the essence and here u are wasting time again like an idiot!

Haven't u learned your lesson yet? What do u even have to reconsider?
Even if Mon had 1% chance u should still take it!

But is this what Mon would want?
Knowing that there's a chance of permanent brain damage, is this really what Mon would want?
Would Mon be even happy to be alive?
I already forced them to revive her. I've already prolonged her agony! Would Mon be happier if I just let her go?
It was her decision to die in the first place, shouldn't I respect her wishes even just this once?
That's the best I could do for her right? If I love her I should think of what's the best for her right?

What are u even saying?
Can u hear urself Sam?
How can u even think like that?!
Mon's dying and all you're doing is wasting time!
Don't overcomplicate things!
Do u want Mon to die?

No

Would u survive if she doesn't?

No

Then there's your answer!
Why are u even thinking about it? This is so dumb! Just admit it u are just afraid right? Ur just making excuses pretending that what u r doing right now is thinking about Mon and what she wants.

All ur doing is delaying ur
decision because u are afraid of the potential outcome!

You're a coward Sam. Always have and always will be. Even when Mon's life depends on the decision that u make, and the time it takes for u to make it, that's still not enough to make u change. You're pathetic. You can't even admit it to yourself that u are just too scared to make a decision.

Fine! that's right i'm afraid. I'm scared! I'm a coward but so what if i am?
Can u even blame me?

What if she wakes up and would never be the same again?

What if she blames me for forcing her to come back with a lesser version of herself?

What if she blames me for not letting her go!

Mon had bigger dreams! She had great pride! Would Mon be able to take it seeing her body broken?

Would I be able to take it knowing she's hurt? Knowing she's suffering and knowing I forced that on her?

Ur talking as if you're sure Mon will survive. She only has a 30% chance, less than even and because of the time you're wasting now it'll be even less congrats Sam. U fucked up yet again!

And that makes the decision all the more harder!
If her chances of surviving in the first place are so low, should I really have to prolong her agony?

All i'm hearing from u is me, me, me. Ur saying ur thinking of Mon but all i'm hearing is all about u Sam!
What if this, what if that!
Why are u trying to avoid it?
I know what u really wanna ask!

What if Mon would end up hating me?
What if she ends up blaming me?
What if she decides to leave me?
What if she kills herself again?!

Admit it that's really what you are scared of right?
It was never about what Mon wanted or how she would feel, it was always about u!

Poor Sam afraid of getting her feelings hurt boo hoo hoo

The voices are starting again!
Since when have I been comfortable with speaking to these voices?
Am I seriously losing my mind?

I tried to pull away as soon as I could. I know if I don't i'll sink deeper And I couldn't afford to. I need to think straight, Mon is waiting. She's depending on me. I can't fail her a second time.