GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 37 : HER FUTURE

Day 10

2 days had passed since Mon first woke up but there still wasn't any changes in Mon.

We were hoping that the effects were temporary like what the doctor said but that doesn't seem to be the case!

Her having initial confusion was ruled out.
Now she is becoming worse!

She doesn't eat, doesn't sleep.
She doesn't respond to anything we say or do.

And we've tried everything!!!

Her mom and dad tried to talk to her, to soothe her but nothing was working!

We were growing extremely worried and frustrated!

We've asked the doctors multiple times what was happening but they told us nothing!

the only thing they told us was that this was to be expected.

They told us beforehand that they didn't know the extent of Mon's brain damage

we couldn't provide the timeline as to how long she was left underwater nor how long she was not breathing so nobody knows what to expect

They told us that the acceptable timeframe for her to get help was 3-5 mins and I knew it was way longer than that! It took way longer than that!!!

I kept thinking it was my fault!

If only i looked for her sooner!

If only i didn't let my pride get the best of me and went to her first this could've been avoided!

If only I didn't push her to stay and choose me, this wouldn't have happened!

Why did i have to be so selfish! I should've let her go when she asked!

If only i helped her sooner!

If only I wasn't stupid enough to break down when Mon needed me the most, i could've saved her!

If I could take that night back, i would! I told myself over and over again that I would!

But was that really the truth?
I knew I would've reacted the same no matter how many times i redo it!

There was nothing that could've prepared me for the despair that I felt that day!

It's painful to admit but there was nothing i could've done for Mon!
There was nothing i could've changed!
I still wouldn't have been able to save her no matter how hard i've tried. I felt so useless!

Seeing Mon almost lifeless in my arms will never feel less dreadful and It will never get better.

I tried to rewind the clock over and over. Over and over.
Closing my eyes and wishing I could wake up to a reality when Mon and I were still happy!

I kept forcing my mind to think... To remember.. To retrace my steps.

How much time had passed before I found her?

How much time did I waste frozen in fear?

How much time did it take for me to decide we needed to go and meet the ambulance?

I remembered all the painful memories but i never remembered the timeline!

How could I have remembered everything except for the one thing that truly mattered?!

What's the use of your brains now Sam?

You took pride in something that proved to be useless!

The doctor's words kept ringing in my ears like a nightmare i couldn't stop.