GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 53: PATIENCE

I received good news today!
It seems that I was doing well and will be discharged soon!

Finally!
I don't really hate it here but there were a ton of things that I wanted to see!
I lost all of my memories so I wanted to fill it with tons of new ones and I couldn't do that while being stuck here.

Besides staying here made me feel like I wasn't normal and i didn't like that.

Everybody was kind!
The doctors were great and the nurses were people that I now consider as my friends but after all I couldn't shake off the feeling that i'm being monitored.
Being in a hospital makes u feel like that.

Being asked daily if I was ok and if there was something that was bothering me was suffocating!

I was okay with people worrying about me but this has gone on for way too long.
I need to move on with my life if not now, I don't know when that will be!

My parents were ecstatic when they heard the news and so was Sam!

My stay in the hospital was so long overdrawn! I have stayed here for almost 6 months now and I need to see what lies ahead of me when I finally get to leave.

The opening day for the new term of Harvard was also drawing near so I needed time to prepare for that too.

I was busy everyday!
I never stopped learning!
Having Khun Sam there to guide me helped a lot!
She was a great teacher!
I didn't know she had that much patience and I truly appreciated her a lot.

This past few months with Khun Sam had been great!
I couldn't imagine what it would've been like without her.

Now i'm so used to having her beside me that i'm panicking when she isn't near me.

I looked at Sam and was even more curious...
What was she thinking?
Now that i'm being discharged soon what's next?
What were her plans?
Will she be staying? And if yes for how long?

M: khun Sam...
S: yes mon? :)
M: what do u plan to do now?
S: Plans for?
M: plans for when I leave the hospital
S: ohh that haha no plans. It would be the same as it always has been
M: what do u mean?
S: I'm not going anywhere Mon. I'll stay wherever u are
M: what?
S: hmmm?
M: you really expect me to believe that you will put your entire life on hold to be with me? Is this a joke?

(She was looking into my eyes. Her eyes were so sincere, it's as if I could see her soul. But were u really serious Sam? Don't make promises you can't keep! What would u do if I really end up believing it?!

She took my hands and i still had goosebumps!

I have been more accustomed to her touches.
Sam always made sure to stay beside me and whenever she did, she couldn't help but touch me.

She did that little by little and kept track of my emotions.

She made sure to stop when I was getting uncomfortable but lately it's hard to even feel uncomfortable, rather I feel weird when she's not touching me. Somehow my body was now craving her touch and that's scary. I don't want to feel like this for someone who I know will leave me one day! I know we couldn't stay like this forever so I need to make clear boundaries to not get hurt when she eventually leaves)

S: Mon nothing about u will ever be a joking matter to me.
I am very sincere to you Mon, I hope you feel that too.

M: i do! But are u really serious Sam? I don't know why you're like this!
U didn't explain anything!
I don't know anything about u!you're being too good to me and I do not deserve it!

S: Mon if I can give u the world, I would.
I'm just treating you the way u deserve to be treated :)

M: i know you say that Sam! But if you're really serious about everything...You cannot just put your life on hold for anybody!
Especially not for someone who doesn't even remember you

S: you will never be just anybody to me Mon...

(She smiled sadly. This time she wasn't hiding her pain. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and that made my heart bleed! It was so painful looking at her cry and I immediately panicked!

I came close to her and wiped away her tears and held her cheek forcing her eyes to look at me)

M: what's wrong Sam?
Why are u crying?

S: it just hurts u know. Accepting the fact that you have forgotten all about me
I was praying everyday that you would remember but u never did

M: i'm sorry. I'm trying to remember too but i just can't.

S: i know. It's my fault. I'm not blaming you Mon

M: Sam, if I can't remember then why won't u just tell me?

U telling me might help me recall my memories right?
So what's stopping you?

S: because now is not the right time Mon.
all I can do is wait for u.

M: then when will be the right time?

S: i'll wait til u remember me

M: we tried that already and it's not working!
What if I end up not remembering at all?
Are u just going to let this go on like this?
I just don't understand why you're making this complicated?
Why won't anybody tell me anything?

S: I tried but we both remember how that went right?
If u have another panic attack because I forced your memories on you what then?
I don't want to leave u Mon!
I'm doing the best that I can to stay by your side.

(Sam was crying like a baby! I hated seeing her like this!
My heart felt so heavy!
All i could do was say sorry and hug her.

For the past 3 months that Sam had stayed with me, she was always so strong.
She was always the one taking care of me.
I always relied on her.
She always listened to all my stories, got mad for me when I couldn't.
She did whatever I asked, most of the time without me even asking.
she just knew what to do at the right time and I have grown accustomed to seeing Sam always being there for me.
She knew me more than I knew myself and that scares me.

In my mind Sam was perfect and that's why sometimes I forget that she's human too.
I can hurt her too.
Just like what I am doing now.
Am I being too pushy?
But what do I do when I have to know what you're hiding?
Sigh! I need to be more careful from now on.
I want to take care of u too Sam. If only u can tell me how.
Why can't I remember you!
I don't want to keep hurting you like this!
But I don't know what to do when i'm like this sigh

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Hi loves!

How was this chapter?

Do u always feel bad for Sam?
It's painful right?
Loving someone who has forgotten about u
Praying they will end up remembering then wake up to find everything unchanged

Sigh

Pls let me know ur thoughts in the comments below!

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P.S. wattpad is acting up lately!
I found it so hard to post this story too many bugs!
I cant even place a picture sigh!

Like,comment,vote& share pls

Love,
Your frustrated author
Cha 😘