A moment in time

CHAPTER 40

I was woken up by a knock on my door followed by the sound of my door opening.

"Yintoni?(what)"I ask with my head peeping from underneath my blanket.

"You have a visitor"Zizipho informs. I look at her furrowing my eyebrows.

"Mr Sibalikhulu is here"

My eyebrows shoot up." Are you serious?"

"Haybo her daughter is here what did you expect?"

"Arggh, okay just offer him coffee I will be down in about 10 minutes". I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to rinse my face and brush my teeth.

I wore my long fleece robe and slippers before making my way downstairs.

I found everyone sitting in silence in the dining area and the tension, you could literally hear the dog from down the street barking.

"Good morning everyone"I nervously greeted putting my hands in my pockets and they all looked up.

Mr Sibalikhulu looked at Londi and she immediately stood up.

"Good morning Miss Ndilika and before you sit down I would like to apologize for last night,I have no words to justify and excuse my immoral and disgraceful actions, I don't know where I would've ended up if you didn't take me in and I-

"Geez what am I,a principal? Its okay I understand you still a young adult so these things are normal just be more responsible next time cause you know us woman are not safe especially in this country, woman die everyday" I dismiss taking a sit.

"No, what Londi did was shameful and I have no words to describe how humiliated and disappointed I am in her,she will get whats due to her and she certainly will pay for her actions"

"I don't think that's necessary, she didn't kill anyone she just had more than enough to drink"

"You making this seem like its just a silly mistake. Londi knows I have people out there who want me dead and would do anything to cause me pain and I've told her many times that she was born different many of the  things that girls her age do she cant do and what does she do she goes and do exactly what I told her not to as always"

"Its honestly not that deep but then I get what you trying to say and I'm sure she regrets everything,right?". She nods looking up at me before bowing her head again fiddling with her nails

"With her we can only hope and again Miss Ndilika...thank you,no words can describe how grateful I am"

I nod smiling. " I just did what any other person would do"

"But still that doesn't take away the fact that you basically saved my daughters life and to actually thank you I think its only fair that I invite you both for dinner as a token of my gratitude. I Know its short notice but tomorrow we heading back home and I would hate to just leave without showing you how grateful I am"

"I mean its food and we didn't have any plans so we will surely be there. Right Zizi?"I ask turning to Zizipho.

"Well Ziso and I were planning to visit Mike today"

"Oh...now this is new...I guess I will come alone then.

"That's fine,we will see you later then". I walked them out and closed the door behind them before walking back to the dining area.

"So when were you planning to tell me that you and Mike are now playing house visits?"

"Well we talked this morning and we not back together Millz he just wants to see Ziso an-

"After everything Zizipho like after everything you know have forgotten the sleepless nights and the tears like everything is back to normal now just because of one phone call that probably lasted for two hours you now okay and ready to play happy family?"

"Milonke you not hearing me we not back together we just trying to raise our baby in an environment where there is a father and a mother.  I don't want my baby to end up like us"

"Zizipho you just making a fool out of yourself cant you see Mike is playing yo-

"MILONKE JUST LET ME BE!!! I AM TIRED OF YOU DICTATING MY LIFE AND TELLING ME WHAT TO DO AS IF YOU HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT. WHAT?DO YOU WANT ME TO END UP LONELY AND SAD LIKE YOU. YOU KEEP  PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY AND NO ONE WANTS TO BE AROUND YOU BE AUSE YOU TREAT YOURSELF AS THIS QUEEN AND I DONT WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT SO JUST STOP ACTING AS IF EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS PERFECT AND MONEY IS CERTAINLY NOT EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CAREER AND A LITTLE BUSINESS YOU NOW THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE AS IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO CALL YOURS BESIDES ALL THESE MATERIALISTIC THINGS THAT YOU HAVE AND YOUR PRECIOUS COMPANY. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE BESIDES A CAREER"

"Oh? So now suddenly I'm the bad person again huh? Then thats it, you will definitely never hear me asking or saying anything that involves Mike and you again"

"Milonke I didn't mean it that wa-

I dismissed her with my hand before making my way upstairs back to my bedroom.

I closed the door behind me and cleaned up the clothes lying around before making my bed cussing under my breath.

Yazi people are just so bloody ungrateful yerrrrr all of a sudden I'm the enemy now just because I actually want to protect her yhuu I'm fucken done.

I took my phone and sat down going through my messages. Andile sent me an Instagram link on Whatsapp  followed by a: LOOK AT THIS BITCH" comment below it.

I opened the link and its a vlog of a this beautiful black American lady taking us through her day as she goes to do a check up on her baby.

Haybo why you sending me this?

I replied before going to the vlog again.
A message pooped up on my screen.

"This is the bitch that stole your man haybo kanti utheni"

My heart literally took a screenshot as I went back to watch the vlog again.

I felt tears burning my eyes as I watched the reel over and over again. She is so pretty and gorgeous and happy... She is everything that I couldn't and would never be for Ndumiso...

Zizipho was right I...I actually don't have this all figured out. The only thing I've achieved is MD besides that there is nothing I can say I have....I don't even recognize myself anymore,I'm just failing at everything that I do,I cant seem to do anything right I just keep on ruining and destroying things.

I'm tired of the world hating on me,its like no matter how hard I try to do the right thing I just end up ruining it instead...I cant go on like this.

I wiped the tears gushing down my face before getting up. I made my way to the toilet and took out sleeping pills and anti depressants. I sat down on the toilet sit looking at them.

Maybe the world will be better off without me...whats the point if the only people that I care about seem to want nothing to do with me. I don't want to be here anymore,I just don't have the strength to face the world and fight through the day...lawd knows I've tried to handle every challenge with grace but now I've got nothing to fight for.

I opened both containers and poured the pills in my hand before closing my eyes and throwing all of them in my mouth and swallowing.

I stood up to drink water from the sink and sat down on the cold tiled floor next to the sink as I broke down in tears waiting to take my last breath.  I could feel my head getting heavier and my stomach paining. I let out a scream as I curled myself on the floor rubbing my stomach....I kept on telling myself this is the last time I will ever be in pain as I grunted in agony. I'm finally setting myself free.