A moment in time

Chapter 47

I checked the time on the alarm clock next to me. Its 03:13am and I'm still wide awake and judging from Ndumiso's tossing and turning I know he is still awake also.

I sat up tapping his shoulder. "Ndumiso sit up I know you awake"

I hear him exhale as he turned to face me.

"Do you love her?...do you still love Ndoni?" I ask looking at him.

He thins his eyes and scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous"

"Ndumiso that's not an answer"

He exhales sitting up. "Given the opportunity I would kill her,actually if you weren't there today I would've killed her. I told you before and I will say it again I never loved Ndoni everything was  pure business"

"What else are you hiding Ndumiso? Will I wake up tomorrow and find out that you have a entire family or you back with her and I end up being your stupid fool...or am I just a rebound? Do you even love me Ndumiso or is it because you know I don't have anyone and its easier to get in my life cause I'm longing for love...is it because you know my whole life is a mess and for some reason when I'm with you life seems worth fighting for?" I wiped the single tear trail on my face shaking my head. "I don't even know why I am doing this to myself"

He took my hand in his. "When I lost Khayi's mom I believed there will never be a woman I would love as much as I loved her, I gave up on love and I told myself I would never ever commit to anyone...then I met you and you somehow made it seem all possible, how you made the world seem to stop when I'm around you, how your heart melted my heart and most of all how you accepted my daughter...unlike many other woman you never tried to compete with her or feel threatened by her, the way you and her just got along like a house on fire... I knew from that moment that you were what I was waiting for this whole time and you still are...you can doubt anything I have ever said to you but not my love for you. I love you Milonke"

I roll my eyes. "Well I love me too"

We both laughed.

"So with all of that said can we try again...I want to love you everyday and I want to be with you for as long as I live?"he says before planting a kiss on the back of my hand.

I looked at him smiling, I'm hearing everything that I've been longing to hear but now with everything that has happened...how is he gonna love me I mean I was raped,does he even find me attractive?

My smile disappears looking at him. "Ndumiso I was...I was raped. I cant even look at myself at the mirror...how are you gonna love me after that?"

"I talked to Lwando and he says everything is okay from any sexually transmitted diseases or even pre-

"ITS NOT ABOUT THAT NDUMISO...you don't get it,I'm broken and I feel disgusting and I don't know if I'll ever enjoy intimacy again...I'm even scared of being naked"

"Ntwenhle dont do that you not broken and its fine I can wait until you ready for intimacy I just don't care Ntwenhle as long as I have you just don't push me away. We will figure it out together...in fact you  lets just get married"

My eyebrows shoot up as I widened my eyes. "Married?"

"Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Lets get married and start our life over on a clean slate,we can even go to another country and start our lives away from everything...me,you and Khayi"

"Ndumiso my life is here and my company"

"I understand that and I know how much you love MD but I was just saying a fresh start somewhere else would be amazing cause everything here will just remind us of our past constantly"