Tough & Classy

Chapter 49

Chapter 49:  "I live in the past because it's the only place I can find you."

Closure, according to some, comes after accepting that you and your partner will not work out anymore and you learn to let go of the ifs and could have beens. Bullshit. As if it were easy.

When you're in a good place, you think breakups are just a walk in the park. Until you find yourself in the very same situation you thought was easy to overcome and realize how naive you had been to think that way to begin with.

"Ang dami naman niyan. Itatapon mo ba?" Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Sea. "Kung hindi mo kaya, ako na lang ang gagawa."

I bit my bottom lip, sighed, and touched the letters, notes, and cards that were inside a big box. I've kept all of them even after we broke up months ago. It never once crossed my mind to burn or throw them away.

Bubbs, 

I still see the crazy but beautiful 'stalker' I fell in love with when I look at you. Even after many years, you still manage to take my breath away with your smile. Can't wait to spend time with you tonight. I love you.

"This note was written 5 years ago. I woke up in the morning and saw this on my pillow with a single rose." The memories were so vivid, it made me smile. "Matter of fact, I would wake up every morning with a sweet note and breakfast. Sometimes, there were flowers, too. He'd do that whenever he had to leave early, and I was still sleeping."

Bubbs, 

You're not just my girlfriend. You're also my best friend. Confidant. And my person. Thank you for being my strength and the light in my dark times. I love you.

I took a deep breath. "This one, he gave it to me the day after he met up with his mom. He was very upset. I remember I took him to Enchanted Kingdom."

"EK? Si Chester nadala mo dun?" hindi makapaniwalang bulalas niya.

I nodded, chuckling. It felt like it was only yesterday as the memories flashed in my head. I brought him to EK, and rode all the extreme rides, thinking that he could vent out his pent-up emotions by screaming. Little did I know, he was tough through and through. Not once did he scream or feel scared. 

In the end, I was the one who got scared and screamed so much that it made me regret ever stepping into EK. But it was worth it as he hugged me like his life depended on it while thanking me as we watched the fireworks.

"We have so many memories together. If I throw all of these away, will the memories fade, too?" 

Sea looked at me, as if she didn't know what to say.

My gaze was drawn to the small box. As I opened it and saw the industrial earring he gave me, my mouth curled into a small smile. 

"You know what I admire about him? It's his uniqueness." I took the earring out. "While others give a promise ring; he chose to give me this and I loved it. Do you think he still has his earring?"

She sighed. "Gusto mo tanong ko? Sisimplehan ko lang."

I thought about it but in the end, I shook my head. "I think it's better if I don't know the answer to that."

She pursed her lips and nodded. Her forehead creased a bit as she reached for the brown envelope in the box. "Ano naman ito? Teka lang titulo ng lupa ito. Bakit nandito?"

I stared at it for a long time, suddenly filled with regrets. "It was his graduation gift to me." My eyes went to the miniature of our house which was displayed in my room; it was supposed to be built in the lot he gave me.