Consuming Darkness: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 3

   -Sebastian-

 It was good to be back at school. I had missed it. While it was good to be with Ominis over the summer, his house and family were a little much. We had mostly stayed with an uncle of his who was far less extreme than his parents but still firmly set in his ideals. Ominis and I had grown closer over the summer. He'd forgiven me as much as he could manage for now. The first half of the summer was rough though. I was plagued by nightmares every night and each day I was drowning in self-loathing. Even though I was staying Ominis it was hard to feel as if he wanted me around, especially after he had been so willing to send me to Azkaban. Not that I blamed him for that, I couldn't be mad at the logic behind his actions. I had almost no family left and felt unwanted by even those that remained. Then there was Ronnie, her smile, her voice, her willingness to stand by me through every vile action I had taken last year. Everything about her was the only thing that seemed to be able to chase the darkness away. But then my mind would always bring me back to the way I had treated her, how she had looked when I cast Curcio on her. She had even been understanding of when I had killed Solomon, and I had pushed her away.

   Ominis started to teach me a few tricks to combat the lasting effects of using the unforgivable curses. The anger, depression, guilt, darkness, all of it seemed to diminish to being bearable most of the time. I began to feel as if I could function as myself again. I was trying to allow myself to be hopeful for this new school year. I was going to learn more magic and, even though Anne wasn't talking to me, I was still going to research how to help her.

   We missed the sorting ceremony and so instead we decided to put our things in the common room and wait for everyone there. Seeing Ronnie again reignited something in my heart that I didn't know if I could ignore anymore.

   Ominis sat beside me in Charms class with our backs to the door. My eyes kept flicking to the door anytime someone walked into the room.

   "You're going to break your neck looking for her. She'll be here soon," Ominis commented with a chuckle.

   "I swear you can see and you've just been lying to me all these years," I joked.

   He laughed. "Oh, drat Sebastian! You have figured out my life-long ruse to trick you and everyone else into thinking that I'm blind! I guess the jig is up and I'll just... you know... begin to see now!" Ominis remarks were dripping in sarcasm and he laughed very hard at himself.

   "Oh the cleverness of me!" I remarked as I sat up tall putting my hands on my hips with a mocking laugh.

   I noticed Poppy walking into the room. I hadn't interacted much with her outside did class, but I knew Ronnie had stayed with her over the summer and that they were close. To my surprise, she sat beside me.

   "Hello, Sebastian!" She chimed.

   "Hello," I smiled and looked to the door as someone else walked into the classroom.

   "You waiting for someone?" She asked with a knowing smile.

   "No," I lied, probably unsuccessfully. "Just fun to see everyone again."

   She didn't respond for a while. She looked like she had something to say to me, but then the class started. Professor Ronen began by welcoming everyone back. My eyes scanned the class. Had I missed her walk in... No. Where was she?

   Then she walked in, looked sheepishly at Professor Ronen, apologized quickly, and took an empty seat across the room next to Garreth Weasley. I couldn't help but be slightly annoyed that Poppy has foiled my plan.

   I had missed Ronnie so much. I had missed everything about her. Her laugh, her smile, her smell, her touch, her determination, her drive. I know I had screwed up. The understatement of the century. I had pushed her too far, used her, and abused our friendship. Not without cause, but I had let my desire to cure Anne consume me and it turned me into someone I was not fond of. I had hurt her in the process, and I pulled her down the path of dark magic.

   My thoughts we interrupted when she caught me looking at her. She stared back at me, her face unreadable. She smirked slightly and dropped my gaze quickly. I felt my heart leap at the small interaction.

   It was hard to pay attention during class to anything but Ronnie. She seemed off, her eyes had dark circles under them. She had even slightly dozed off. She woke up with a jump looking terrified for a moment. Her eyes found mine and I flashed her a questioning look of concern. Her eyes seemed darker than I remembered. She gave me a flat tight-lipped smile and returned to her book.

   Something was wrong. I turned to Poppy who was already watching the interaction. She ripped a piece of paper as quietly as she could, wrote something, and passed it to me while pretending to listen to the class.

   I looked at it after a moment to make sure no one was looking. "I need to talk to you after class."

   I looked at Poppy, she glanced back at me, and I nodded.

   After class, Poppy and I walked out of class together. I told Ominis that would catch up with him. I noticed that Ronnie left without saying a word to anyone and that only left me more concerned

   "Okay Poppy, tell me what's going on with Ronnie. I'm guessing that's what you wanted to talk about." I asked as soon as everyone was out of earshot.

   She hesitated, her eyes bounced between me, the ground, and her hands. "I don't know how to say it... or what to say..." She finally looked up at me, meeting my eyes.

   "I'm worried about her Poppy, she seems off. Please tell me what's going on. How I can help her? How I can help you help her?"

   She sighed. "This summer was rough... I tried everything I could to help her but she is struggling. The first half of the summer she would wake up screaming every night... She hardly slept. She was so quick to anger... we fought often and about nothing. I tried to keep the peace and not push her... I know she has been through so much... Then she would disappear for full days. She would only come back to sleep. She'd come home after I was asleep and leave before I woke up. I know she's taking on the weight of Professor Figg's death and Natty's injuries... and you... she didn't tell me details but she's convinced she is responsible for your sadness as well," Poppy informed. "I can tell there are things she doesn't want to share with me or maybe she can't... I just want to help her. I'm at a loss. Near the end of the summer, she was coming around more often but her happiness felt strained and sometimes empty..." she looked at me hopefully. "I know you were close... I know she cared for you... something happened between you that she wouldn't tell me. Maybe you can get through to her?"

   "You're a good friend Poppy..." I couldn't believe what she had told me. It broke my heart... Ronnie had taken on so much after only just barely learning of the wizarding world. I had put so much on her. Oh, Ronnie... I had to talk to her. "I'll talk to her. I promise. I'm sorry..."

   "Thank you," Poppy sighed and smiled brightly.