Consuming Darkness: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 59

-Ronnie-

   "You're a liar Sebastian Sallow," I growled out. I tried to put my anger at the forefront but my heart felt like it was shattering.

   "What?" He asked confused. "No, we're back in the Room of Requirement... I mean we never really left but you know what I mean... I dissipated the shadows. They won't hurt you anymore," he offered. Sebastian's deep brown eyes were pleading with me. There was so much sorrow, regret, and heartache behind those beautiful brown eyes that I wanted to let this go, but I couldn't. Was he really so confused? He had been there! 

   "Why are you still lying to me?" My rage felt muted and dulled from the potion Sebastian had given me. I was grateful for it because it was helping me think more clearly. When I'd woken up my mind was filled with the image of his black eyes with the glowing red. Shadows making me a prisoner to my own mind, leeching power from my agony. 

   His brows furrowed in confusion and his eyes held concern. Did he truly not see anything wrong with what he had said? I decided to spell it out for him. I grabbed his left wrist and I saw panic flash across his face. So he did know.

   I shoved his sweater sleeve up exposing a black tattoo that started as a blurred line up the middle of his hand and then twisted up his left forearm. The markings looked like black smoke or mist twisting around and up his arm. The tendrils climbing in a way that they almost seemed to be subtly moving. I had seen some black markings peeking out of his sleeve on his palm when he'd handed me the potion. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to see when I lifted his sleeve, but it was far more intense than I had anticipated. What had he done? Was this real? 

   I looked back up at him, making no attempt to hide the hurt in my eyes. He lied. He said the shadows were gone. 'That I was safe' because he had gotten rid of them, but in reality he had been the one to summon them in the first place. He had been the reason I had to endure reliving the worst and most painful moments in my life. All because he had wanted to be more powerful.

   "Ronnie... Please I know it doesn't look great but if you just let me explain-"

   "Please explain!" I paused, my anger boiling inside of me begging for release. "Explain why you have now been branded by the dark arts! Explain to me why you have let the dark arts consume you once again! Explain to me why I should continue to stay by you when, for the second time, you have risked my life for power!"

   "That's not what it was Ron! You know that! I was trying to help Anne... and then I lost control..." he defended.

   "How is this different? If anything this is more selfish! You acted like you changed... you... I..." my voice cracked. I didn't know how to get the words out or what I was even really feeling or wanting to say. Tears began to freely fall from my eyes. Why wasn't this Draught of Peace helping? Were these my muted emotions? If so I was even more grateful that he'd given it to me.

   He didn't respond. There was so much between us. So much had happened. So many of our wounds were still painful and fresh. "I thought we were healing together... helping each other heal... but-"

   "We are! I didn't lie to Ronnie! I had decided I was giving up on my pursuit of Umbra Dicio! I resigned to never use it again but then I woke up in darkness... I'm not sure what happened exactly. The shadows took over, their power had grown... and they were attempting to claim me rather than allow me to cease use of them. I didn't want any of this! I swear! You have to believe me!" He pleaded as tears filled his eyes.

   I couldn't look at him. His heartbreakingly handsome face had gotten me to forgive way more than I normally would have or should have. I shook my head. "I believe you, Sebastian... I just don't... this wouldn't have happened had you not pursued Umbra Dicio in the first place." I paused, not sure where my thoughts were going, what I wanted, or what this meant. All I knew is that my heart was breaking. I made the mistake of looking back at him. He was watching me in disbelief, his brown eyes reflected the pain in my own heart. "I love you..." I breathed out. It felt almost like second nature, a reverent promise. "Despite all of this... everything we have been through... maybe because of all we have been through... I love you so much that I don't even know what to do with myself..."