Consuming Darkness: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 69

-Ronnie-

Sebastian was slumped on the couch in the Room of Requirement. He pushed his hand through his unkempt hair and let out a long sigh. The fireplace caused light and shadows to illuminate his somber expression. His brow furrowed as he stared at the fire as if it held the answers he sought.

Suddenly, I wasn't with him, I was in my bed. I immediately and almost instinctively grabbed my necklace. There was a faint glow to it, and I knew that Sebastian had used it to call on me.

I slipped out of bed and quickly grabbed on the dark green chunky jumper from the ground that I had been wearing earlier. I tugged it over my head and didn't bother changing out of the loose black pants I had been wearing to sleep in.

As I wandered the halls under the disillusionment charm I realized that the only other time Sebastian had used his trinket was when I had first been lost in the Forbidden Forest. He had never used it to wake me up before. Was he in trouble? No, he didn't seem to be in any apparent danger when I saw him. He just seemed lost in thought.

Maybe he just wanted to sleep with me? Maybe he hoped that enough time had passed that we could move past all of this drama? Was that what I wanted? I shook my head, deciding it wasn't. Not this time. Pushing these things off wasn't helping anything and I really missed Sebastian. He also deserved an explanation as to why I had agreed to go with Finn. But that meant that I had to figure out why I'd agreed to go with Finn.

Sebastian hadn't been the only person that I had been not addressing issues with. I'd done it with everyone, especially myself. It was horrible to have to sit in my emotions. There was so much to address and to feel and unpack that it seemed easier, safer, and more comfortable to push it off and distract myself. I had so many things at my fingertips to distract myself with that it made it almost too easy to distract my mind from its never-ending attempt to work through some of the traumas I had experienced.

I walked into the Room of Requirement, mulling over my options, absentmindedly fiddling with my necklace. I chewed at the bow of my upper lip as I tried to predict what was waiting for me beyond the heavy oak door leading to where Sebastian was waiting. I just need to apologize for being an idiot and tell Finn that I'm not going to go with him. I feel bad for putting him in the middle of this but I knew Finn would understand.

I let out a sigh and pushed open the door to see Sebastian sitting exactly where he was in the vision of him. His head immediately turned to me, disbelief painting his freckled face. His wavy brown locks fell onto his forehead. "You actually came."

"Well..." I hesitated, awkwardly shifting on the balls of my feet. "You called." I shrugged my arms, the movement feeling awkward. I was awkward.

There was a heavy silence as we took each other in. Sebastian was wearing a cream jumper with the rest of him hidden behind the back of the couch. I tried to look at everything but his eyes but eventually I couldn't resist their pull. His eyes were pools of honey brown and the vulnerability I found in them softened all of the walls I had tried to fortify. I could not have prepared myself for what his gaze would do to me.

"Are you okay?" I wondered, breaking the silence, and pushing myself from the unwelcomed thoughts that were on rotation.

"No... I'm not..." He sighed and turned back around on the couch, facing the fireplace. I walked over and sat near him, waiting for him to elaborate.

There was another long pause as he searched for the words to say. Sebastian pushed his finger through his hair and my own hands practically ached to be able to do the same. I wanted to reach out and comfort him but my body felt stuck to its place. Glued in place by guilt, anticipation, and the urge to close myself off entirely. I felt the pain, the sadness, the hurt right below the surface. I knew Sebastian felt the same. I didn't want to put my pain on him.