Consuming Darkness: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 13

-Ronnie-

It had been almost two weeks since I'd spoken to Sebastian, at least, no more than I had to in passing. It was hard to avoid him when we had all of our classes together, sat together for meals, were on the Quidditch team together, and had the same common room. I'd figured out how to keep it civil, while Sebastian constantly tried to corner me to talk. He had apologized more times than I could keep track of, but all I could muster was a surface-level tolerance for him.

Ominis hadn't said anymore to me about what Sebastian had revealed in the Undercroft. He had just warned me to be careful. Ominis and I had gotten closer and I was glad to have him. He tried to talk to me about the dark arts and how to combat the effects and the pull that it had on me, but I simply nodded along. He had seen me have a full emotional breakdown, and I just didn't want to feel that again upon confronting the dark in me.

I sat with Natty in the great hall at the Gryffindor table, studiously practicing spells. The winter break had started a few days ago and most of the students had left to be with their families. Poppy had invited me to come stay with her and her gran but I declined. I didn't want to go back to her house after all the nightmares I'd had and I wanted her to have time with her gran without me hovering. I had spent a lot of my free time with Natty, exploring the castle and showing her all of the things I had found last year. I didn't want to leave the castle grounds with her. After what happened to her last year, I needed her mom to think that I was a good friend. She was great company.

I tried to keep my mind on my assignments but my eyes kept drifting to the dark-haired boy across the room at the Slytherin table. He and Ominis were talking with a few of the other Slytherins who had stayed back for the break. He was making everyone laugh as he flailed around telling them some story. He was so cute. His hair looked good, and his jawline was making my heart beat faster. His eyes found mine and he smirked.

I quickly dropped my gaze to my textbook, my cheeks feeling warm. No! No... Quit being a bloody idiot. He is reckless and selfish and arrogant and handsome... My eyes landed on him once more... and charming and funny... and the way his kisses make me feel more alive than I ever have been...

"While I have enjoyed being able to spend more time with you, I can't help but notice that something seems a little off," Natty commented pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head slightly, blinking to clear my mind, and flashing her a forced smile. "I'm fine..." I lied.

"I know you went through a lot last year and I just want you to know that I am always here for you if you need something," Natty smiled at me and put her hand on top of mine.

I smiled back at her. "You went through a lot too! You don't need to worry about me."

"I still will because you are one of my dearest friends," she replied.

"And you are one of my dearest friends," I said back, and I meant it. I just was worried about her getting hurt, and her mom hating me. I turned back to my book.

"I have to ask you something though," Natty said.

I looked back at her skeptically. "What?"

"Why do I hear Sebastian apologize to you at least once a day?" She asked and my stomach twisted. "Why do I always catch Sebastian staring at you longingly?"

"He does not stare at me longing!" I laughed.

She rolled her eyes. "And why do you act as if you hate him to everyone else but then you are sitting here, staring at him across the room, like you feel anything but hatred for him?"

I tried to maintain my composure without revealing anything. Was it that obvious to everyone? Probably. Apparently!

"What is going on between you guys?" She questioned. "I know you were close last year, and you seemed close again at the start of this year."

"I don't know Natty... I don't really want to talk about it. He's just... impossible, and horrible... but..." I couldn't finish my thought out loud. I still cared about him immensely, and I was still drawn so to him.

"Oh, you do like him then? It's just 'complicated'?" She remarked putting air quotes around the word complicated and laughed at herself.

"It's not complicated. I don't like him. He's crude and crass," I glared down at my homework. I tried to remind myself how he had handled things after we'd woken up in the Room of Requirement or what he said in the Undercroft and let those memories take over my thoughts of Sebastian instead of the other ones that were trying to take over my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Can we get back to our homework?"

...

That night I was jarred awake by another terrible nightmare. It felt like darkness was swallowing me even after I was entirely awake. I scrubbed my hands down my face and groaned quietly to myself.

I couldn't stay in my room. Quietly, I grabbed my fighting gear and crept into the bathroom to change.

Once I had donned my fighting leathers I put the small marble in my pocket and began fiddling with it absentmindedly. I snuck out of the common room, drawing a semblance of comfort from the trinket. I cast the disillusionment charm once at the top of the stairs in the common room and crept out of the castle, headed toward the Forbidden Forest. This used to be how I cleared my head all the time last year. Maybe I'd find a wounded magical beast or someone who underestimated me and was looking for a fight. My body practically hummed with excitement to be back in the forest again.