Forgive and Forget: but what about Now? (suntan fic :))

Home

Home.

It is a lovely place, people say.

It is the heart one's comfort and love, many have said.

Whoever had said that had a really biased or sheltered perspective of the world, or just didn't want to see the other side of the story.

Not for Sunny, though. Home meant a constant reminder of the past. Home meant endless, overwhelming guilt. It hadn't been warm, full of love as one might think, not at least for the past four years. 

I deserve it though.

Sunny looked up at the ceiling of his new bedroom. It was quite different from his old home, being a bright blue compared to the previous white.

 I brought this upon myself. I have to reap the consequences.

Sunny was sixteen. An year older than when Mari had died. It felt surreal that he had become older than her.

Thinking about her, he could slightly recall a blissful time, a time of innocence in which life was good. A time when an introvert like him had friends one could dream off. When people loved him, and cherished him as a part of their lives.

When big sister Mari loved him.

Every single day, he always wished that they'd never argued on top of the stairs. He wished he'd been better at playing the violin, to see that smile upon Mari's face. He wished that anything, anything could've happened, that didn't lead to him shoving her down the stairs. Who even did that to someone they loved?

But Sunny had.

He'd loved her and he'd killed her.

He might've been doing anything else right now. He might still be at Faraway Town, laughing with his friends, maybe listening to Mari practicing a new piece on her piano. He wouldn't be rotting at home, becoming a shell of who he once was. 

What a shame he'd caused all of this.

Sunny took a deep breath, and tried to stop his negative thoughts. His friends would never see him in the same way again, but he would have to accept that and move on. It was no use hiding from the truth anymore.

Sunny closed his eyes as he recalled what had happened at the hospital...



"Sunny? What are you doing here?"
Hero had a concerned look on his face. Aubrey and Kel looked up from a sleeping Basil, and was mildly surprised to see him here.
Sunny felt tears prick at his eyes, and threaten to fall out.

"I-I need to tell you something.." 

Hero touched Sunny's shoulder, as if to steer him back to his room. 
"Whatever you need to say can wait. You need rest."

"Yea Sunny! You look pretty tired, probably not a good time, bud"

"N-no- you don't understand-", Sunny wriggled out of Hero's grip. "It's-it's about..Mari.."

The atmosphere in the room tensed up just a notch. Sunny continued.

"I-I'm the reason Mari died. I killed her. It's my fault."

Aubrey spoke now, "Sunny, we all felt that way. But-really it isn't, we didn't know-"

"No!" Sunny's throat hurt from speaking so much, but he had to continue. "It wasn't a suicide. It was me."

Everyone stared, confused.

"On the day of the recital, I got so, so stressed. I always got something wrong. I couldn't be perfect like Mari wanted me to. I threw my violin down the stairs, and it broke. When she saw it, she yelled at me, so angry that I had broken a gift that was worth months of your hard work. I remember trying to get away from her...down the stairs, but she blocked my path. I-I pushed her down. I pushed her down the stairs, and I killed her."

Silence. Everyone had scared looks now. Sunny tried not to look at them.

"I-I wasn't thinking straight. I started dissociating after that, and it was so hard to breathe. Basil, he'd seen everything. He helped me place her on a bed, but-but nothing. She wasn't waking up. Basil was scared as well, and he gave the idea of framing it as a suicide. I couldn't process what he said, but I agreed anyhow. In the end....it was us. We killed her. It was never a suicide."

Tears dripped out from his eyes. He let them fall freely.

"I am so so sorry, I should have never kept this all from you. I did something sick and twisted, and I understand if you can't forgive me-"

"Sunny tell me this is a joke."

Hero looked close to snapping, his eyes full of a manic disbelief. Kel looked horrified, having collapsed onto the stool. Aubrey looked murderous, and clenched her bat.

Aubrey spoke again. "Sunny, tell me , you're joking, right?? Please, please tell me, you DIDN'T ACTUALLY..??"

Sunny looked down, quiet.

Aubrey marched up and started shaking him by the shoulders, "HOW COULD YOU- YOU KEPT THIS FROM US THESE YEARS- and you decide to tell us NOW? DO YOU KNOW HOW SEEING MARI LIKE- LIKE THAT BROKE US? WHAT WOULD SHE THINK? YOU DID THAT TO HER CORPSE- HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- ANSWER ME!"

Sunny was suddenly met with a hard slap to his face, and staggered backwards a bit, cheek stinging. He didn't say anything; this was what he deserved for keeping it for so long from them.

Hero stammered a bit. "So...it..it was all...you??"

Sunny nodded.

It was Hero's turn to walk up to him, and by the looks of it, Sunny thought he would strangle him. But he just placed his hands on his shoulders, sobbing.

"How could you do this...how could you both lie to us like THIS-?", Hero sucked in a breath between his teeth, "I-I need a moment..". With that, Hero swiftly went out of the room.

Aubrey followed suit, shooting a last glare at Sunny, and then Basil, still sleeping.

Kel was the last to get up. His cheerful and positive facade had totally broken away. Sunny winced when he saw his friend's tear streaked face. It hurt to especially see Kel so...broken.

"Sunny..I-I can't really believe my ears. I know it was hard telling us but..making us see..Mari? Like that? I- heh...I really don't know how to feel about that."

Awkward silence.

"I-I need time. So uh- see you around, Sunny."

Kel was gone. Hero was gone. Everyone was gone. Sunny and Basil were the only ones in that room. 
A stirring in the corner of his eye grabbed his attention. Basil was waking up.

"Ugh...Su-Sunny? Whe-where's everyone? Shouldn't they...be here?"

Oh poor, poor Basil. He didn't know  what had happened yet. At least he wouldn't have to act so paranoid anymore.

"It's okay Basil. I told them. I told them everything."

Basil's blue eyes widened, and he tried to get up, but couldn't. "Y-You told them?"

Sunny nodded and smiled. It wasn't a smile of happiness, of course but rather, one of relief. They didn't have to hide anymore, the SOMETHING that always lingered with Sunny slowly faded away.

Basil hesitated for a moment, then smiled as well. His SOMETHING slowly shrunk in and disappeared. Tears leaked out of their eyes as they realized how much weight had been lifted off their consciousness.

"Everything was going to be okay."



Sunny lay in his bed. He hadn't seen anyone since that day. Even when he moved, no one came by to see him leave.

It's alright...they just need time. It'll be..okay

Everything will be okay, one day.

Sunny turned over and closed his eyes.
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heyyyyyy tell me if I've made any mistake here its been a while since i ACTUALLY wrote something that wasn't a crackfic lmao

apologies if it sounds weird 

anyways stay safe byeeee