Niragi X Reader X Chishiya

Chapter 32

//Niragi POV
//

As I left the room and closed the door behind me, I just stood, frozen.
Everything seemed to hit me all at once. I quickly made my way to my room, slamming the door behind myself.
I looked towards bathroom door and noticed the flower crown y/n had made me hanging from a hook.
I just collapsed to the floor on my knees, my face in my hands. I just broke down. I couldn't stop the tears.

Y/n doesn't love me. I scare her. I've lost count how many times I've hurt her, and Chishiya as been the one to save her.

But still, I can't let her go.

I doubt she will want to see me again, I need to keep my distance until she needs to play another game. I need to make sure she's as healthy as she can be. Atleast I know she will be safe with Chishiya until then, as much as I hate to admit it.
After the game I need to make it up to her as much as possible, I can't stand here and do nothing while her and Chishiya fall more and more in love with eachother. If that's even possible.

I think back to my conversation with Hatter, about knowing how to control my anger. Then to my conversation with Chishiya, about focusing on mine and y/ns relationship.

Right now, the only direction I can think of going is to allow Y/n to still see Chishiya, still speak to him, let them be friends. But nothing more.

I roll my eyes and sigh at the thought of Chishiya, knowing 100 percent that he will always be in y/ns life. I've tried to stop him so many times, and failed greatly, only ever hurting y/n.

I begin throwing stuff around my room, I need to let out my anger some way, right? And abusing inanimate objects seems to be the only way at the moment. Unless I take my gun and kill everyone at the beach.

I shouldn't do that.

I need to use these few days away from y/n to think of a way I can get her to forgive me, this is going to be hard.

Why would she forgive someone like me? Why would she ever love someone like me?
She's too good for me, and thats exactly why I can't lose her.

...

..

.
/2 days later/

Tomorrow is the day y/n needs to go to a game. I have no idea how she is. I haven't left my room in 2 days. I haven't eaten, and I've hardly slept.
All I can do is worry about her. Worry about what she's been doing with Chishiya.
What has Chishiya been filling her head with?
Will she have calmed down enough to not be scared if I go and see her?
It's haunts me thinking of her screaming at the thought of me and reopening her wound because of nightmares of me. What if the sight of me triggers her nightmares?

I get up to open my door to get breakfast. I really should eat, I need to make sure I'm fully energised incase I need to piggyback y/n all the way through her next game.
Just as I open my door, Chishiya is stood in front of me with his arm up in the air.

"I was about to knock" Chishiya mumbled to himself. I just frowned at him. Why would he want to come here? Gloat about him and y/n being in love? He didn't look sad enough to let me know y/n had died. I doubt he would tell me anyway.

"Y/n wants to see you" Chishiya interrupted my thoughts.
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of her name. I could feel my face light up.

"I wouldn't look too happy. You haven't heard what she has to say" Chishiya added, as he began to walk off.

I quickly followed him, wondering what y/n wanted to say to me.

As we approach the room, I fear the worst. What if she wants to tell me her and Chishiya are together? Like I would let that happen.

I stand for a moment and take a deep breath before opening her door. Chishiya behind me, waiting outside.

I enter the room and my eyes widen at the sight of y/n.
She didn't look like she was shot only 2 days ago, she looked perfectly healthy, sat up in a chair.
Her hair cascading in curls down her left shoulder, her cheeks rosy pink and she seemed to be glowing. She looked so delicate yet so powerful at the same time.
Her eyes locked onto mine and I felt my heart jump. How could a person get so much more gorgeous in just 2 days? I couldn't take my eyes from her, I felt like I was falling in love all over again.
Is this what 2 days with Chishiya had done to her? Or has he just got some sort of magical angel blood that he transfused into her body?
Maybe its 2 days without seeing me. Without me draining her energy.

"You...you..you look..amazing" I managed to blurt out, without thinking. She just raised her eyebrows and giggled under her breath.

"You dont" she laughed, looking down at my half buttoned up shirt, tired eyes and messy hair.

I suddenly felt embarrassed, pulling my hair back into a ponytail.

I walked over to her and sat at the table next to her.

"How are you doing? Why do you look so healthy?" I said as I reached for her hand.
She took a deep breath and allowed me to rest my hand on top of hers.

"I feel fine. Still sore. But fine." She gently smiled at me.

"Why do you look this good?" I asked, looking down embarrassed at how boldly I asked that. But she just laughed.

"I don't know. Its a miracle I was resuscitated twice. Maybe this is a miracle too. Maybe things work differently where we are. All I know is I feel alive, and I don't want to take that for granted anymore" she looked deep into my eyes, and I felt my heart beating faster.

"I'm so sorry y/n" I grabbed her hand tighter. "I know it's a lot to ask, but could you ever forgive me?" I didn't take my eyes from hers.

"I forgive you, Niragi. I forgive you for shooting me, twice. I forgive you for every harsh thing you've ever done to me" she swallowed hard and looked away. "But I can't forgive you for everything you've done to Chishiya" she added.

I clenched my jaw. Here it comes. Her heartfelt story of how much she loves him. How much she hates me. How much she needs him and doesn't need me. I don't know if I can sit here and listen to the truth coming from her beautiful lips. I can feel my heart shattering before the words even leave her mouth. I hold my breath and brace for whatever is coming next. Whatever she says won't change the fact of how in love I am with her. I can always think of a way to get her back.

"I love Chishiya" y/n quietly said. I bit my lip, trying to hold back tears. Preparing for what was coming next.
"These past couple of days with him made me realise how much I truly need him" she stopped and took a deep breath, she slowly put her soft hand to my face, I looked up into her eyes, and she gently smiled.
"But for some unknown reason, I love you too, Niragi".
My heart stopped beating for a second. How could she still love me after everything I've put her through?
"Having a couple of days apart from you made me miss your chaotic ways. It made me think back to the actual amazing times we've had together. Despite you being murderous and violent, deep down your actually not that bad, all you've ever wanted to do was protect me" y/n paused for a second. "You just go about it in all the wrong ways". She slightly smiled and let out a deep breath.
"I know Chishiya has done harsh things too, I've already spoken to him about it. I just want you both to stop fighting over me and stop trying to kill eachother. Maybe my feelings seem stronger for Chishiya because he's not as loud and chaotic as you, he's calm and kind" she let out a small laugh. "But I guess looking back, you've both done things as bad as eachother" she bit her lip and looked into my eyes, seemingly awaiting my response.

"I'll be better for you y/n. I promise. I love you so much. I need to be better for you, for us".

I slowly leaned towards her, pressing my lips against her forehead.

I couldn't believe everything I just heard. Y/n actually loves me. She willingly admitted it. I didn't need to force the words out of her mouth.

But now, where does this leave us?